Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly #24: August 30, 2005

Coming up on this week’s Polyamory Weekly: thoughts on luck in America, a listener’s first frubble, poly cards in the offing? A taste of poly smut, facing monogamy, jealousy as a refrigerator, and a poly mission statement.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

00-2:15 Introduction. updates
Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to

2:15-9:20 Comments: More on being lucky
comments on being “lucky” and points out preexisting socioeconomic conditions that make some folks less than lucky others to begin with, and Jason continues the discussion by giving a nod of credit to that train of thought and elaborates on his original letter.

9:20-9:50 Listener mail
JM writes in, so welcome to our new listeners from Violet Blue!

9:50-12:25 Listener mail: R writes in about arguments, frubble and Spider Robinson
R says minx is the voice in the back of his head (!!); he shares the story of his first frubbly feeling; our official plug for Spider Robinson’s The Callahan Chronicles.

12:25-14:00 Listener mail: “I hate you days”
Brent comments on having “I hate you days” and on how labelling these feelings helped his and L’s relationship.

14:00-15:40 Listener mail: Secret Lover cards
Listener Randy wrote in to let us know that his friend C did write the company and request poly-friendly “Secret Lover” cards that were just as beautiful and passionate as the original collection!

15:40-16:55 Listener mail: Smut!
Brent recommends Morgan Hawkes’ Victorious Star and Fallen Star, published through Loose ID, and Fortune’s Star, a novella published in the anthology Hard Candy.

16:55-20:20 Sam provides poly erotica!
I read my favorite bit from Sam’s submisison that is less about action and more about showing passion and bodily reaction. The full text, reprinted with permission, is Three on the Fourth (or a Private Woodstock)

Call me Samuel. My wife Faith and I had been poly about a year when this happened. She had been dating Vince most of that time and he and I were good friends, it was obvious to me that he cared deeply for her and he loved going dancing with Faith, leaving me home to watch Sci Fi shows she wasn’t interested in and to program.

Anyone who saw us together regularly enough would know that there was a stronger bond than just friendship. Three way hugs were common and Faith deeply kissing both of us in public was not uncommon.

It became obvious to us that even though Vince and I had no interest in each other we would eventually have a threesome one morning after Vince had spent the night with us. A good morning kiss and an accidentaly exposed nipple lead to a lot of happy squirming and moaning on Faiths part, but not to the “final event”.

I guess I should describe each of us. Well, first I should say that Faith has a type, long dark haired thin men pretty much covers the physical part. The describes both Vince and me, except I usually have a goatee and he wears wire rimmed glasses. Faith is about five foot two, one hundred fifteen well toned pounds, small breasts and a tattoo on her right shoulder.

After a good Fourth of July party with plenty of margaritas and fireworks, Faith, Vince and I returned to our place and pretty much as soon as we got there Faith looked at us with a slightly tipsy look and said “If you guys are up to it, I’m just drunk enough to be up for a threesome.” Well, being two guys very much in love with and hot for her, that was all the convincing we needed.

We both grabbed her and began fondling her, she was facing Vince and their mouths were locked together, one of his hands massaging her firm ass. I has a hand under her shirt and bra playing with her nipple while I nibbled on her neck. Faith pulled away from Vince a little to let out an appreciated moan and I took the opportunity to spin her around and begin kissing and invading her mouth with my tongue.

This back and forth went on for a few minutes until Faith decided it was time to get more serious and get into bed.

Vince and I joined her and continued the back and forth of fondling and kissing pushing her top up. Vince was watching me for cues as to what was acceptable, I watched Faith and slowly progressed. First we kissed and fondled her going back and forth one of us kissing her passionately while the other made lazy circles around her breast slowly moving toward the aureole and the nipple.

Then I moved it to the next level by trading my fingers for my tongue while Vince was kissing Faith. Her nipples were hard with excitement to begin with but this made them positively crinkly as I moved around and around finally descending with a light nip to her nipple and then using my lips to cover my teeth I bit down and pulled her breast up until she moaned with pleasure. After this I went to kiss Faith while Vince used his own techniques to pleasure her through her breast.

Similar exchanges went on each time our hands explored a little more of Faith’s body, slowly lifting her skirt and stroking up her legs to her plain black cotton covered pubis mons, rubbing her labia and clit. After about 20 minutes Faith could stand no more and pushed us away long enough to strip off her clothes.

After she was nude, the process began again and when I was kissing Faith, I slid a finger down her body and in between her labia then I brought it back up tracing a lovely scented trail and she and I sniffed and shared the taste. On Vince’s turn he did the same and we shifted our concentration to Faiths errogenous zones, one kissing and fingering the other stroking and licking, back and forth for about 10 minutes, then I pushed a little farther and rather than licking Faiths breast, I moved slowly down her stomach to her crotch and I began to lick her outer labia and then I pulled them apart, rubbing my nose against her clit while I stuck my tongue into her vagina. All the while Vince was passionately kissing her and stroking her breast, pulling her nipples. I don’t think she could tell us which one of is was causing which moan or gasp. But the pleasure built and slowly Faith pushed Vince away so she could concentrate on the building orgasm and how her body shook when she finally came.

We all pulled in close taking a short break while Faith recovered, there was some more kissing and fondling for a few minutes, then Vince went between Faith’s legs.

I love the scent of sex, Faith’s, mine. It was amazing kissing her while she built to another orgasm, her scent strong in my nose already, the flush that came over her body, the shivers afterwards. It’s amazing seeing her smile at me and another man at the same time. She was floating on a cloud. After a few minutes of glowing following her Vince induced orgasm, I stood up and took off my clothes.

I positioned myself between Faith’s legs and as I leaned forward I realized that Vince was lying right there next to my wife. I had a decision to make, I could either brace myself in a manner to exclude him from an incredibly intimate moment or I could spread my arms a little wider and pull him in to the moment. It was a predetermined choice I pulled them both close as I began to slowly piston in and out of my wife. A warm tightness building in my scrotum then pumping out a few intimate loving minutes later.

After I recovered and moved off of Faith, she welcomed Vince into her arms and legs and he welcomed us both into his arms. Slowly building to the comically beautiful face every man makes when draining semen into his lover.

If there is anything more intimate and loving than sharing two carefully built orgasms with one person you love, it is sharing four with two people you love. I know my universe had collapsed to the top of that futon and all it contained was happy sweaty people loving each other and being loved in return. It was amazing and I may never experience it again, but I was there once and that is all it takes to believe wholeheartedly in the power of love.

20:20-21:00 Listener mail: label no more!

21:00-26:45 Listener mail: poly to monogamous transition
Listener A writes in to relate the judgmental attitudes she faced from family, lovers and community when she and her lover opted for a monogamous relationship after being poly. minx comments on tolerance in general and how to remain friends with those you feel are making a mistake.

26:45-29:30 Topic: and ‘s Mission Statement
During a long afternoon of painful relationship negotiation, Graydancer and minx brainstormed individual answers to the questions, “Why are you poly?” and “What do you get from being being poly?” and created their own mission statement for Graydancer and minx as a poly couple.

  • We believe that love and sexuality are abundant and renewable resources and positive modes of self-expression that come in many forms.
  • We believe that emotional intimacy requires brutal honesty, extensive introspection, and willing vulnerability.
  • We believe that doing this emotional work enables us to be more generous, caring, kind, compassionate and whole individuals.
  • We celebrate our connections with friends and lovers through mutual support and shared joy.

    29:30-30:05 Topic: Mistresse Matisse gives us a grin
    If you want to feel refreshed and validated and go “awww!”, read this re-posting of Mistresse Matisse of how she met and feel in love with her partner of six years.

    30:05- Topic: Tacit’s article on jealousy and refrigerators
    Tacit’s article on jealousy

    Topic: On coming out
    Props to Amy Gahran for opting to come out (in a polite, subtle way) as poly in her professional blog. What a great model for coming out in an honest but non-jingoistic way. Her personal/poly blog is here. Not prurient in the least, so if you’re looking for smut, stay here or go to Open Source Sex.

    Resource: smut
    One podcast suggestion: Pizza Babe is here.

    Like the intro/outro music? It’s by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!


OMG! Violet Blue mentioned me on her podcast! She played my audio comment! She called me “ultra-sexy”! ::swoon::

The blog post is here, and her podcast, Open Source Sex, is here (like you don’t already know!!) or on iTunes.

Show Notes for Michelle Belanger interview

Show Notes for special additon to Polyamory Weekly: Michelle Belanger interview

In this interview from Ohio Leather Fest (pardon the background noise!), Michelle discusses why she is poly; intersex vs. hermaphrodite; labels; her intro to poly; her band and her books; her grandfather’s kink; and why psychic vampire can be a good thing.

House Kheperu:

Her website:

Her dark metal band’s webpage: out of Chicago, with albums Desecrated Ashes and upcoming CD Dancing with the Demigods

Her books, all available through her website:

Psychic Vampire Codex, published last year
The Black Veil, the code of ethics for the vampire community
Coming this October: These Haunted Dreams, a collection of short stories just shy of erotica full of demon lovers and the supernatural in tales that transcend gender and sex
Coming in November: Sacred Hunger, a collection of articles on vampires, an addendum to the Codex

Kinky Prom Pix!

And now, for some happy:

minx paddling

minx and NMDS

Both images courtesy of Jerry Stem at Arresting Photography.

Coming up on this week’s special hour-long Polyamory Weekly: emotional journeying, psychic vampires, and radical ecstasy at Ohio Leather Fest. community cooperation (or lack thereof), more thoughts on poly vs swinging, relationship roles, arguments, and saying goodbye to your secret lover.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Erotica? Email minx at or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

00-3:50 Introduction. updates
Introduction, under-18 warning and redirection to Graydancer co-hosts as we are both silly and sleep-deprived after rushing back early from Ohio Leather Fest to attend to Genevieve in the hospital. Yes, she seems to be OK, although the doctors still don’t know what brought on her attacks of tachycardia. And Graydancer tells of how a charge nurse jolted him from OLF head space into St. Anthony’s hospital real space.

3:50 OLF recap: Dossie Easton’s Emotional Journeying
OLF recap–Graydancer reviews Dossie Easton’s seminar on Emotional Journeying. The Ethical Slut and Radical Ecstasy are mentioned, along with Jung and childhood issues.

6:45-13:00 OLF: Michelle Belanger’s The Body Electric
We both discuss Michelle Belanger’s amazing “The Body Electric” energy work seminar, in which experienced energy exchange as a dom, and minx was in the “splash zone,” so her yoni got some energy action as well! And yes, she agreed to an interview, so stay tuned for a fascinating interview with this psychic vampire.

13:00-20:10 OLF: Janet Hardy’s workshop review
First, her books: The Ethical Slut, Radical Ecstasy, The New Topping Book, The New Bottoming Book, and Kinkycrafts. Did we mention she’s also the founder of The Greenery Press? Go buy these books there! Our seminar experience, with three-way energy flow, head space, green alien energy glow, and some radical ecstasy of our own.

20:10 Graydancer talks about how to become a better kinkster

21:00-28:05 Community clashes
We discuss Rick Mansfield’s keynote address and listener mail: why can’t the alternative communities just get along and pull together?

28:05-35:00 Listener mail: poly vs swinging
What is polysexual? Are our labels bringing us down and confusing us? Is it the in-betweeners of the poly and swinger communities that are giving both a bad name?

35:00-36:30 Listener mail: Sambear writes in to stroke the minx

36:30-43:15 Listener mail: Relationship roles
Vannevar Morgan writes in about choosing the roles in your relationship and a plea to hear more about how to argue through relationship-threatening issues; Graydancer and minx disagree about god vs. culture.

43:15-45:00 Listener mail: argument advice
Friendly neighborhood swingers write in again about using “I love you, but I don’t like you very much right now” as a way to argue without fearing the loss of the relationship.

45:00- Weird shit: Secret Lover cards
The collection is a Secret Lover. Graydancer reads “So in Love” and minx reads “Goodbye.” We recommend Kinky Cards if you’re into BDSM or Naughty Cards.

50:45-end Plugs galore!
Upcoming interview with Michelle Belanger, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Graydancer plugs his show, Rope Weekly, which he’ll be promoting at the Open Heart, Open Mind conference in San Francisco in September.

Like the intro/outro music? It’s by a band called Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio. Go buy their stuff!

Polyamory Weekly #22 Show Notes

Polyamory Weekly #22 is up!

Coming up on this week’s show: mail, mail and more mail–just the way I like it! a message for the the perverts, a call for smut, and an upcoming interview.

Questions? Comments? Smut you’d like to send in? Email me at or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

00-1:30 Intro
Under-18 disclaimer and Scarleteen and excitement about Ohio Leather Fest .

1:30-3:30-Listener mail: poly resource
Ohmygoddess shares another excellent poly dating site, , including a variety of forums.

3:30-6:45 Listener mail: heya from Justin
Graydancer’s podcast is Rope Weekly, for those who are interested in Shibari.

6:45-9:05 Listener mail from a special friend
A special email with high praise for the minx, and find out minx’ “bar name.”

9:05-16:10 Listener mail: Weekly window of sharing
Comments and thoughts from a non-poly listener, and minx comments on deeply-engrained sex/dating/marriage paradigms and extends a special welcome to monogamous and non-labeled listeners. Intro/Outro music, BTW, is by Pacemaker Jane out of Ohio, and the song is called “Good Suspicions.”

16:10- Contact info for minx, listener comment line at 306-600-5677

17:05-22:15 Listener mail: an important lesson about arguments
Jason writes in on the importance on knowing that the relationship is OK, even during a fight, and recounts a childhood story about hearing his parents argue. And what do you think of his new tagline suggestion?

22:15- 32:45 Listener mail: on being lucky
Luck, being put in the path of opportunities, and doing constant life work in order to recognize opportunies and be equipped to take advantage of them when they come along. Minx recounts a personal tale of “luck” and the non-luck-oriented events, actions and values that led up to it.

32:45-37:50 Listener mail: poly vs. swingers
N & A ask why many polyamorists often show disdain or disapproval of swingers; minx comments based on her own experiences and puts out a call for swingers to interview. Anyone out there up for discussing this further?

37:50-39:00 Perverts asking for pix
Find minx’s face at Poly Weekly Show Notes page or her nekkid, tied-up bod at Graydancer’s Gallery page.

39:00-39:25 Call for poly smut

39:25-40:20 minx needs help!
minx calls for help from her listeners for interviewing Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy this weekend. What would you ask them if you could?

40:20-43:40 Polyamory Weekly’s philosophy/mission statement
It’s official; this is what Polyamory Weekly has become. Our philosophy: Shared joy is increased; shared pain is lessened. That’s why we’re here.

Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly #21: August 9, 2005

Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly #21:

Coming up on this week’s show: indecent communication and the CDA, bumper stickers, that pesky mono to poly transition–how the hell do you do it??, swinging vs polyamory, and do you feel lucky?

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at , or call the listener comment line at 206-600-5677. Thanks for listening!

Like the intro/outro music? Check out the band at!

00-2:30 Intro
Adult disclaimer &; upcoming Ohio Leather Fest and hopes of interview with Dossie Easton and Catherine Lizst

2:30-7:20 News
Polyamory Weekly was mentioned on a CNET article! Violet Blue’s Open Source Sex gets its props (RSS Feed, if you like, is: ). minx issues a call to her listeners for poly erotica–please send to me at! Let’s smut up the internet! And thanks to Amy Gahran of Contentious blog for her intelligent, well-spoken comment.

7:20-11:45 Listener mail: CDA rantings, by MissLala regarding censorship

11:45-14:30 Listener mail: Jack rants on “Decency” and the CDA

14:30-16:00 Listener mail: resources
Brent writes in with resources to fight censorship:
Electronic Frontier foundation
Electronic Privacy Info Center:
American Civil Liberties Union:

16:00-16:50 Listener mail: Takanami writes in about sheep

16:50-18:20 Resource: poly-friendly bumper sticker
Tacit, creater of, a great poly resource site, has created a cool poly bumper sticker on his Cafe Press site:

18:20-24:50 Listener mail: going from mono to poly when in a relationship

24:50-30:35 Listener mail: healing when poly doesn’t work
This one is painful to hear.

30:35-36:45 Poly vs swinging
Peppermint’s notes/thoughts on July 7 LJ polyamory vs swinging: here

36:45-end Some toughts on being lucky
This intelligent rant is courtesy of tacit, who expressed so well the ideas of freedome of choice in our lives.

Wow. Look at that.

Wow, look at this. Got a mention by name in a mainstream news source (no link, however, I notice), and already a flame comment!

Porn purveyors push prurient podcasts Thanks to Amy Gahran for questioning the “prurient” label in her respectful and well-spoken comment. I do wonder if these people who think that all podcasts with an “explicit” label are porn ever bother to listen to even a sample of the podcasts.

Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly #20: August 2, 2005

Ay. Just flew in from Tuscon, arriving home at 1:00 this morning; edited my little heart out on the plane until my battery died and finished up the post this morning. So forgive any tech difficulties; this was edited and posted on scant hours of sleep!

Show Notes for Polyamory Weekly for August 2, 2005:

In this week’s show, more on the hotwife lifestyle, on being poly and living with herpes, one listener’s story of coming out to children, why minx is fucking pissed off and how minx discovered that all her listeners were big perverts.

00-3:15 Intro & chat
under-18 warning and re-direction to Scarleteen, Tuscon & visit to , teaser for upcoming interviews. Like the new intro/outro music? It’s a band out of Ohio, Pacemaker Jane and the song, available for download through Garage Band, is called “Good Suspicion.”

3:15-7:50 Listener mail: poly sexuality; living with hsv, hpv
Demonicvinyl orc writes in about being poly and his own sexuality, plus dealing with hsv (herpes) and hpv (genital warts) in a poly situation.

7:50-9:00 Listener mail: more on the hotwife lifestyle
TA provides links and more info on the hotwife phenomenon, including articles here and communities here.

9:00-14:50 Listener mail: one story of coming out to children
Takanami and Imp share their stories of coming out to their kids.

14:50-15:45 Listener mail: a movie suggestion, “Closer”

15:45-23:30 The CDA is pissin’ me off
Freedom of Speech (not): Barbara Nitke and the case against the CDA. To donate: donate to fight the CDA , NCSF website, Barbara Nitke’s website.

23:30-end Listener mail: most-downloaded episode?
What’s the most-downloaded episode? or “How minx discovered that her listeners were all pervs” & wrap-up.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at Thanks for listening, ya pervs!

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