PW #64 Show Notes

The new Polyamory Weekly #64 is up! Direct download is here.

0:00 Introduction
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com. Thanks to (a professional voiceover guy!) for the voiceover warning!

1:20 Announcements
“Boobiesexual” is now an entry in the Urban Dictionary; Roberta makes a correction–she’s been married monogamously for 23 years, NOT poly for 23 years

2:30 Listener mail
Rose wrote in with poly song by Sharon Knight; 3:15 D wrote in about poly song and recommends Charming Hostess and links to the lyrics of the song Long Black Veil; B mentions a poly song from Paint Your Wagon; 4:45 asks on the show blog about forming a local community

5:50 Announcement: Midwest Alt Poly Con!
minx will be giving a seminar and the keynote at Midwest Alternative Poly Conference, September 7-10, 2006, in southwest Wisconsin. Come and support the Midwest poly community!

8:00 Announcements: PW in the media
A few more announcements, including on on this blog entry in the Irregular Times blog comparing and contrasting Polyamory Weekly and the SwingerCast; minx also did an interview for Controversial Conversations podcast, with the audio to download here; also check out minx’s interview for Kinky Sex Radio

12:45 Topic: Sperm Wars and Reproductive Strategies
and minx discuss listener letters regarding reproductive strategies, sperm wars, warrior sperm, masturbation, and biological arguments for homosexuality as standard, not a deviation

31:00 Interview: Omaha Sternberg
In the second half of this interview, Omaha comments on spontenaiety, on being poly with kids, including a 6- and 9-yr old daughter; her husband having the first child unplanned by another lover who is no longer in the picture; how she speaks about that with others; dealing with sexual activity with kids in the house; how the kids deal with being in a poly family; dealing with manipulators in poly relationships, accusations of jealousy and changing marriage rules; marrying lesbian android robots

58:50 Audio comment: Amy Gahran
minx asks for interview feedback; Amy Gahran leaves an audio comment from Greenwich Village about poly one day being normal! Check out her article, What Is Podcasting and Why Should You Care.

1:03:15 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

PW #63 Show Notes

The new Polyamory Weekly #63 is up! Direct download is here.

0:00 Introduction
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com. Thanks to (a professional voiceover guy!) for the voiceover warning!

1:10 Listener mail
Poly song: a listener suggests David Rovic’s “The Polyamory Song”; 2:25 Katie from ‘s Bottom’s Roundtable at Shibaricon comments on enjoying hearing about poly as well as Sheva’s interview about skin suits; 4:00 Roberta reports pleasuring herself whilst listening to the show erotica; 4:50Steven wrote in about a Buddhist approach to polyamory; 6:30 Buboe the Rat rants about warrior sperm and reproductive strategies in an audio comment and minx comments as well

13:05 Interview: Lady Gold
Lady Gold discusses her philosophy of poly as an orchestra.

15:15 Topic: Being Wrong
Based on this entry from the QAQNA blog, minx comments on being wrong. The entry’s advice:

  1. Own up immediately.
  2. Apologize.
  3. Make it right.

minx also refers to Difficult Conversations and the idea of contribution versus blame.

20:25 Interview: Omaha Sternberg
Omaha Sternberg from Seattle, a leather activist, polyamorist of over 20 years and podcaster (check out IGame Radio) shares lessons learned during her poly history and dealing with infinite love and finite time.

36:15 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

Blowing it

Just read this great post on the QAQNA blog. It relates to business, but boy, howdy, is it great advice for any situation involving interpersonal relations:

I’ve been reading some great posts like this one from Anil Dash about responding to mistakes. Sometimes you just blow it. It’s not intentional. You didn’t want to screw things up, but you did and now you’ve got people ticked off.

Here’s my personal mantra for responding to blunders, whether it’s personal or business:

  1. Own up immediately.
  2. Apologize.
  3. Make it right.

Awesome advice. I’m good at the owning up immediately and I’m almost always the first one to apologize, but it’s the making it right that provides the biggest challenge, to be sure.

And I find it’s also hard to replace #3, “make it right” with #3 “explain what I was thinking/why it’s not my fault.” I’ve actually heard someone say, “I take full responsibility. But it’s not my fault because… ” And I’m sure I’ve done it myself, too, in spirit if not with those words.

It’s really hard to care more about making it right than being understood. But one leads to the other, IMHO.

Cross-posted to my blog

PW #62 Show Notes

The new Polyamory Weekly #62 is up! Direct download is here.

0:00 Introduction
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com. Thanks to (a professional voiceover guy!) for the voiceover warning.

1:40 Listener mail
Yankl sent in the poly song from Finian’s Rainbow, When I’m Not Near the One I Love, I Love the One I’m Near; Rowan suggests Triad by David Crosby; Rebecca suggests The First of May by Johnathan Coulton and Bring That Friend of Yours; 5:30 our favorite kinky minister, commented on the Civil Rights Movements and how its principles can indeed be applied to the fight for gay rights/marriage

7:30 Event: Building Bridges conference
Suzanne sent in the announcement for the Building Bridges conference in Seattle, October 13-15.

8:50 Poly in the Media
If you didn’t already catch it, check out Jon Stewart’s interview with Bill Bennett about gay marriage rights and touching a bit on polyamory/polygamy; 11:00 Bravo aired Three of Hearts documentary about a trinogamous couple; 11:55 This article, One Lover Is Never Enough, explores polyamory, swinging and open relationships as possible relationship options. My favorite quote from this article:

These setups might seem unrealistic from the outside, but accepting these ‘deviances’ rather than suppressing them is less harmful than the deception and lies that go hand in hand with illicit sex.

14:00 Evan was confused by this Stanley Kurtz article against polygamy/polyamory; no wonder, since Mr. Kurtz is an idiot; 16:10 The Christian Science Monitor published an article about the Republicans rallying around a same-sex marriage ban is causing problems; 17:20 Human Events Online published this dismissive article claiming that polygamy is just the latest in America’s path to promiscuity

20:45 Conversation with Sheva
discusses how can you say no if you can’t say yes and energy exchange during sex/scenes

32:45 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

Polyamorous Liberation Discussion

Yeah, yeah, I know; I’m posting a lot. What can I say? I have to take my baby (a.k.a. my iBook G4) in to the shop again today for a new logic board, so PW will be late again this week.

But I saw this announcement on ‘s journal and had to cross-post:

Polyamorous Liberation Discussion this Friday in Seattle

Saw this posted in the community, so I took a look.

HBO’s ‘Big Love’: What Taboo? from Human Events Online, the National Conservative Weekly.

The simultaneous sexual carrying on of polygamy is somewhat more obvious and centralized than other forms of promiscuity, but it is essentially indistinguishable from the alternative lifestyles based upon promiscuity the culture has already absorbed.

Interesting way of looking at polyamory/polygamy. His main point seems to be that this is just the latest form of “promiscuity.” Even when the author admits that it’s not unusual for people to have three spouses, merely for them to have them at the same time, he slaps this “promiscuous” label on all types of coupling.

It makes me wonder what this author wouldn’t consider promiscuous. Is there anything apart from marriage at a young age, leading to an acceptable number of children and resulting in the death of both spouses, still married to each other that would not be “promiscuous” in his opinion?

What bothers me about writing like this is that is doesn’t allow for sexual diversity. It assumes that everyone has the exact same sexual desires and needs and that therefore everyone should only be allowed one thing–the same thing–to be happy. That is, it’s based on the assumption that everyone is alike.

Guess what? We’re not all alike. Some of us like chocolate, some like vanilla, some can only stomach Rocky Road, and some are lactose-intolerant and would rather have a burger, thank you very much. Putting limits on sexual tastes to me is like telling someone that preferring Rocky Road is “promiscuous,” and that his eating it is leading to the downfall of our society.

Lighten up, dude. It’s just sex.

PW #61 Show Notes

The new Polyamory Weekly #61 is up! Direct download is here.

0:00 Introduction
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com. Thanks to (a professional voiceover guy!) for the voiceover warning.

1:00
, host of Rope Weekly podcast sits in to co-host this week; appeal to help out last week’s guest, Monk, who just had a fire in his workshop. Visit his lover, Mistress Matisse‘s site for donations

2:50 Polyamorous songs
Ohpun sent in this link to culture FAQ’s, including a list of poly songs, 4:50 Katie suggested poly song from Cabaret; click here for full lyrics

5:40 Resource: Poly Jewelry
Thanks for this week’s donation; check out Abzu Designs poly jewelry gallery for poly jewelry

6:15 Listener mail
Andy wrote in commenting that the show is a bit heavy on BDSM content for his tastes; minx encourages listeners to take PW Listener Poll #1 and PW Listener Poll #2 so you can have a voice in show content; 7:50 minx and discuss the Contract of Wifely Expectations that came to light a while back; 12:45 discussion of conservative-bashing and whether poly is a lifestyle platform; 17:00 Merrick Monroe commented to show blog about a poly-friendly song by Snake River Conspiracy album Sonic Jihad; 17:50 & comment about having multiples to beat people up; 19:40 listener writes in with advice: don’t tell your lover more than he/she wants to know, but find out WHY the comfort level exists; shares a story

27:20 Conversation with Sheva
discusses her concept of the “skin suit” and sense of self, plus a bit of therapy for the minx and sheva’s advice on how to reconcile being a strong, independent woman with truly being present in a relationship

54:50 Poly in the Media
Hijacking the Civil Rights Legacy is an unsurprisingly narrow-minded article ganked from the Weekly Standard; 57:15 This sovo article makes a relevant point about separating the gay marriage rights fight and the poly marriage rights one; 59:35 This Telegraph article from the UK argues for keeping the state out of bedrooms–which works fine, if you don’t want any civil rights accorded married couples

1:02:40 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

PW #59 Show Notes

The new Polyamory Weekly #59 is up! Direct download is here.

0:00 Introduction
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com. Thanks to (a professional voiceover guy!) for the voiceover warning.

2:25
Thanks to RedBone for the generous donation this week!

2:45 Listener mail
Eric commented on minx’s conservative-bashing; 4:55 Lisa suggests dating using MySpace

Announcement
Lolita Wolf is teaching her poly class, “How to Be a Greedy Pig: Strategies for Poly Success” at Desire.

6:25 Listener mail
Matt wrote in with advice about coming out to mono/vanilla friends; 8:15 audio well-wishes from Dave in Albuquerque; 9:30 Matt reported a lack of fallout from last week’s Boston Herald article; 10:25 Alan of Poly Impressions blog commented on last week’s Boston Herald article and just how classy poly folks can be

13:30 Poly in the Media
Court rejects polygamy defense in Salt Lake City; minx muses about the age of consent; 14:45 Town won’t let unmarried parents live together in Blackjack, Missouri, but what about sororities or group homes? Huh? and is it OK to have just one kid if you’re not married–what huh?; 16:45 MSN article on “multi-dating,” which is kind of like poly for daters

20:35 ‘s thoughts on emotion/logic
The fabulous wrote this brilliantly insightful entry on emotional and logical decision-makers and how we need to have a balance of both for optimal communication, concluding Feel with your heart, but check your facts.

23:45 PolyWeekly LJ listener poll
If you haven’t already, please take the PW listener poll #1 and PW listener poll #2 and let me know who you are and what you like/don’t like about the show! Thanks for the input!

24:50 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email me at cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro/outro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

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