Poly Weekly #116: Tell Me What You Want

The new Polyamory Weekly #116: Tell Me What You Want is up! Direct download is here.

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments

4:00 My Poly Family
Earthwalker discusses how to argue, explaining to kids that it’s not their fault, negotiating fighting boundaries and rules, letting the kids know after how things worked out, and keeping in mind that little ears hear what you say and notice what you do

10:50 Interview, part I: Tacit
Tacit, host of the Xeromag poly site, discusses does love suck? does love conquer all?
16:20 love is the drive and motivator but doesn’t provide the tools or the basis for the relationship, much like love can inspire you to become a doctor, but you still have to go to medical school
20:50 the concept of what a relationship “should” be; bugs and features of human beings; the uniqueness of human beings and the relationships they create; “fair” versus “same” and “unique”; building relationships that meet your expressed needs and your partners’ expressed needs
26:30 the most valuable skill/rule #1 of poly: being able to know what you need and say it; accepting what you are vs. what you “should” be
30:20 not stating what you need can gradually corrode and poison a relationship–then any stress makes it explode
32:50 expressing a need vs. expecting a partner to fulfill it–for example, kink; your partner is with you because you add value to your partner’s life, NOT because love conquers all or because you meet a checklist of needs; check out his site at XXX
38:05 needs can be attached to a relationship, not a person–sometimes you need something from this relationship, and it doesn’t help to get that same need filled by someone else; sucking cock is contexual; intro to jealousy

40:25 Wrap-up
Stay tuned for the second half of the interview and Tacit’s views on jealousy next week. Bumper segments for his interview is by George Simmons, “Tell Me What You Want.”

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

2 comments to Poly Weekly #116: Tell Me What You Want

  • So is the misprint of “want” in the blog title vs “need” in the libsyn link on the left some kind of subtle commentary?

  • minx

    Well, you know, we actually talked about needs, but the song I used for bumper music (which, BTW, has been stuck in my head ALL week!) is “Tell Me What You Want.” So call it a subliminal brain fart.

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