Want to share your story?

I don’t know the source, but the woman who referred her to us is damn cute! :-)

I am working on a book about open marriage due out in June of 2008 from Seal Press, and I was wondering if you might be able to help me. I would really like to talk to other people in open marriages or other open committed relationships to include in the book. I was wondering if you would be willing to post the request on your site and provide this email – myopenbook@yahoo.com – for anyone who might be interested in sharing his or her story. I am also posting at other poly websites, but if you have any other ideas for getting the word out, I would really appreciate your help. Information shared will be used anonymously and I will send a list of questions via email to anyone interested, asking that they answer as many as they feel comfortable answering. Then I’ll follow-up as needed.

Thanks so much!

Best,
Jenny Block

NCSF

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

August 27, 2007 – NCSF proud to be the only group in the country with a national mission committed to changing the political, legal and social environment for those involved with the BDSM, swinging and polyamory communities. NCSF’s six programs have directly helped thousands of practitioners, businesses and groups. Four of NCSF’s programs began with the founding of NCSF in 1997: the Media Outreach Project, Media Updates, Incident Response, and the Legal Advocacy program.

NCSF’s Incident Response team is directed by Leigha Fleming. Over 700 individuals, groups, attorneys, prosecutors, and businesses contact NCSF for help every year because of persecution or discrimination. NCSF assisted both International Mr. Leather and Kink.com this year, continuing its decade-long practice of fighting religious political extremists and performing outreach to local communities and authorities.

NCSF’s Media Outreach Program provides sound bites and tactics for anyone dealing with the media. Spokesperson Susan Wright regularly gives media trainings and conducts over 60 interviews every year, influencing the coverage of alternative sexuality issues. The NCSF Media Updates, created by Keith Richie, feature articles about BDSM, swinging and polyamory, and provides contact information to write letters to the editor in order to influence
how editorial decisions are made in the future.

NCSF’s Legal Advocacy team is led by John Wirenius, with pro bono lawyers researching current laws and creating Amicus Briefs to submit to courts in cases involving obscenity prosecutions, “consent is not a defense to assault”, and right to freedom of assembly. NCSF’s Communications Decency Act lawsuit with Barbara Nitke made history by challenging the Miller standard of obscenity as it applies to the Internet.

NCSF took custody of their newest program, the Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) free referral list, from Race Bannon in 2006. Steve Bower is currently the director for the KAP program. NCSF created a new KAP brochure and is actively recruiting additional psychotherapeutic, medical, and legal professionals who are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.

The Education Outreach Program (EOP) is run under the Institute for 21st Century Relationships b The Foundation of NCSF. ITCR supports the freedom of consenting adults to discover and to practice the intimate relationship structure that best meets their emotional and human needs. The EOP is designed to educate law enforcement officials, and to educate constituents about the risks of selective enforcement and how to minimize the risk of
becoming a target. NCSF has published a number of pieces of literature for this program and has trained a team of individuals from across the country to deliver 10 educational presentations from “Traveling With Toys” to “How to Protect Your Event.”

Over the past decade, NCSF has formed valuable alliances with other advocacy organizations to work on projects that defend sexual freedom rights: Free Speech Coalition, the ACLU, American Association of Sex Educators Councilors and Therapists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, and the Gay and Lesbian Activist Alliance, among others.

Currently NCSF has 54 Coalition Partners who elect the board and establish the yearly goals at the annual Coalition Partner meeting. Coalition Partners are groups and businesses that serve BDSM, swing and polyamory practitioners. NCSF also has over 100 Supporting Members b groups and businesses who actively support NCSF – totaling tens of thousands of members. Aside from Office Manager Levi Halberstadt, the staff of NCSF consists of dozens of
volunteers around the country.

Every dollar that is donated to NCSF and ITCR goes to directly serving the alt sex communities. All donations to ITCR-NCSF are tax deductible. In the past decade, alternative sexual expression has become much more visible to the general public, bringing about an increasing number of attacks. The success of this fight depends on your support. You can become an individual member of NCSF, volunteer to join the NCSF staff, make a donation to NCSF, initiate or help out at a fund-raiser for NCSF, and encourage your group to become a Coalition Partner of NCSF. Every step you take helps us further the sexual freedom movement!

Check out the new and updated NCSF website at: www.ncsfreedom.org

Escape Pod/Polyamory Weekly meetup at Dragon Con

Hi, guys!

has set up an Escape Pod/Poly Weekly meetup during DragonCon this week.

Where: Gordon Biersch Brewpub, 848 Peachtree St.
When: SUNDAY, Sept 2nd, 1:00 PM.

The brewpub is about a mile due north from the convention hotels. You can walk it fairly easily, take a taxi, or drive and use their valet parking. Steve chose this place because the food is excellent, and it’s reasonably close to the con while being just far enough that it won’t be completely swamped.

The party name is “Escape Pod.” He made reservations for 30 people. Unfortunately we can’t guarantee seats for anyone; it’s unlikely that the whole restaurant will fill up at that time of day, but if you’d like to sit with the crowd, you may want to show up a few minutes early. Steve and his wife Anna and I are going to try to be there by 12:30.

There’s no agenda or topic to this; just good conversation and getting to meet fun people. I go to cons largely to socialize, so this’ll definitely be fun for me, and I hope it is for you too. And if you need to reach Steve with any questions, his personal e-mail address is sfeley@gmail.com and cell number is 678-517-2350. A text message to the phone is usually more efficient than calling.

Poly Weekly #121: Hot Poly Erotica!

The new Polyamory Weekly #121: Hot Poly Erotica! is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments. Next weekend, I’ll be podcasting at DragonCon with Steve Eley. Yay for sci-fi (and hopefully poly) geeks!

3:00 Story: Recent Reports on Progress Toward Fusion
This juicy story by Bill Noble is read by permission. The story of Meg Kapinski, a woman dating Hannie and Steve Areson, two distinct men connected from the waist down, and how they came to connect emotionally and sexually.

28:10 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

If you like this week’s music, check out Gaia Consort, a poly-friendly group. The song is “Three;” download it from their site, and please support them by buying their album!

Poly Weekly #120: Toxic Relationships

The new Polyamory Weekly #120: Toxic Relationships is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments. And thanks to everyone who voted for Polyamory Weekly in the Podcast Awards. Even though we lost, I really appreciate the show of support!

3:00 Recommendation: the Midwest Teen Sex Show vidcast
If you haven’t yet, download the first four episodes of Midwest Teen Sex Show vidcast on female masturbation, abstinence, birth control and more!

4:15 Listener feedback
D’gou comments on the roundtable on negotiations; Rob writes that he is staying monogamous because of Polyamory Weekly!

6:20 Listener feedback: Poly Weekly #118 Geeks in Love
Lenore writes in that we left out inverted rythms and privacy issues for geeks; her boyfriend Lars’ article on flow; she also comments that geeks will tend to give practical technical gifts rather than candy, jewelry or flowers; Graydancer calls in a comment that the Treo can be linked directly to Google calendar; how a partner felt more secure because of Google Calendar and how another friend used email, MySpace and Google searches to track down who her partner was chatting with in a less-than-direct manner; Darkmane suggests Rememberthemilk.com, a shared online task list for busy families or tribes!

16:00 Dating promiscuous women will make a man of you
Darkmane also comments on dating a promiscuous woman; Minx recommends an Italian porno called Cheeky on that topic, available through Netflix.

18:30 Topic: How do you know if you’re in a toxic relationship?
Answers and thoughts range “when the work/pain outweighs the benefits/joy;” giving more than you are getting for long periods of time; feeling more drained than rewarded; if you have to ask, you may already know the answer; if you find yourself saying too often, “I love him/her, but… “; consider the idea of balance in a relationship

25:30 Poly in the Media

33:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

Poly Weekly postcards!

I’m so excited! Last night, I sent out the print order for 500 5 1/2″ x 8 1/2″ postcards for Polyamory Weekly! Now we have stuff to hand out for local sex shops, conference goodie bags and other events. Or we will by the end of the week!

When they come in, I’ll be putting out requests–if you have a sex shop in your town with a space for informational fliers or a conference seeking goodie bag inserts or what have you, I’ll send out these oversized poscards to anyone who promises to distribute them!

Not too organized

A response, courtesy of Jack Elfrink of KinkyRopes.com, on the idea from Poly Weekly #118: Geeks in Love that organized people don’t have fun. (Yes, it’s an IKEA commercial!)

A danger to swingers: going poly!

Here’s something we don’t often hear about: the dangers of going to polyamory from swinging, addressing the very real issue for swingers of falling in love with playmates and forming long-term romantic attachments.

Truly, though, this can happen to anyone. Love and relationships are very sneaky–they can come and go on schedules that don’t match ours and thumb their noses at our carefully-defined lifestyles and rules. In truth, I think what this article nails right on the head is the old broken-record motto of poly:

It all comes down to communication. It’s critical to ask your partner how they feel and to share your feelings. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to hold your feelings inside – what you really want – because you’re afraid your partner may not understand. You have to talk about what you both want from the relationship and what boundaries you’re comfortable with. And in some circumstances, you may find out that you want different things. If this is the case, you’ll have to decide if you are willing to compromise or go your separate ways.

It doesn’t matter if you’re single, coupled, monogamous, married for 30 years, swingers or poly–at some point, you’ll probably find yourself falling for someone that you didn’t intend or expect to. It’s happened to me when I was single. It’s happened to me when I was in a monogamous relationship. It’s happened to me when I was in a poly relationship. And really, the only wrong action in any of these cases was to pretend that I didn’t feel that way. In every case, I told someone important. When I was single, I told a girlfriend. When I was monogamous, I told my boyfriend (with shame, but fortunately he understood). When I was poly, I told that boyfriend the second I recognized the strong feelings.

So please, whatever your relationship structure, recognize that this will be a possibility. Acknowledge it when it happens. Then communicate and figure it out.

Poly Weekly #119: Listener Mail: negotiations, pay difference and vibrators, oh, my!

The new Polyamory Weekly #119: Listener Mail: negotiations, pay difference and vibrators, oh, my! is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.
2:40 Feedback: Negotiations
Rose reponds to the idea of interrupting one’s partners on dates

3:30 Feedback: Pay disparity for women
From Poly Weekly 113 and Vannevar Morgan’s feedback on Poly Weekly #114, Jerith points out that men aren’t given any advantages, either; he mentions Off-Ramps and On-Ramps, Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success
and The Feminine Mistake; Alissa mentions an article in Reason magazine on the topic

7:00 Feedback: Poly Weekly #113 and “Fairness”
Alissa also comments on the idea of fairness and how she disagree’s with PepperMint’s idea of “promoting the idea of fairness” and that keeping everyone involved happy or meeting everyone’s needs would be a better goal than being “fair”; she maintains that promoting fairness promotes the idea of tit-for-tat, which doesn’t work well with poly–she points out that having the same number or quality of partners isn’t “fair,” but that striving to be generous and happy would be a better goal

11:30 Feedback: Poly Weekly #114: Introverts and Extroverts
David comments on having Asperger’s syndrome and points out that some people just aren’t chatty and won’t ever socialize; Julien comments on being an “ambivert” and tells how the episode helped him out that week

13:30 Feedback: Interviews with Tacit #116 and 117
David found “true love doesn’t conquer all” to be a powerful statement; “while emotion feeds the individual, communication feeds the relationship;” Mike is using Poly Weekly to prep for his next relationship; Colin Murphy corrected the Heinlein quote in Poly Weekly #117;

16:45 Feedback: Poly Weekly #118 Geeks in Love
Nobilis comments that even though he’s monogamous, Poly Weekly #118 made him realize he needed to up the communication level in his relationship; MA wrote in with a glowing but fair review of the OhMiBod vibrator!

19:35 My Poly Family
Earthwalker shares stories from his family’s latest camping trip!

23:00 Poly in the Media
Miss Manners covers how to invite a poly quad to an event; the gay-friendly Chemistry.com asked Helen Fischer to develop a test based on hormone levels; loving a promiscuous woman may make a man of you

26:45 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.

No poly presidents, eh?

Thanks to Amy Gahran for passing along this gem, just as my Google news alert discovered it as well. Ten Zen Monkeys reports on the top 20 taboos for presidential candidates, including, of course, polyamory.

The #1 taboo for candidates is–you guessed it–”Sexual Non-Conformism,” which the monkeys define as:

Presidential candidates can’t be openly gay or transsexual. They can’t have open marriages and relationships or practice polyfidelity or polyamory. They can’t openly enjoy orgies, consensual gangbangs, or pornography. They can’t even be real swingin’ bachelors or bachelorettes. During the ’90s, we made it to: “I don’t care if he got a blow job, as long as he does a good job.” Now we need to get to: “I don’t care if he’s going to move his pet sheep Sweetiecakes into the White House and post videos of their long nights of passion on YouTube. If his policies could save millions of lives, what’s more important?”

First, why can’t we go two seconds discussing alternative sexuality and relationship lifestyles without mentioning sheep and goats? What is America’s obsession with bestiality, really? Are there really that many people in the bestiality forums, pining away to be accepted? Or is that just the embodiment of Middle America’s biggest fear–that gays, polys and people who enjoy porn are all secretly lusting after pet goats, horses and sheep?

The #2 taboo is more disturbing and quite sad:

No presidential candidate can advocate sex-positive attitudes including open marriages and relationships; they can’t be pro-porn, positive about teen sexuality, or generally advocate the sophisticated notion that eroticism is life’s greatest gift.

[sigh] I’d argue, but it’s true. Somehow, we’re all supposed to believe that sex is bad and our leader don’t have any despite the obvious presence of children. Or perhaps we’re supposed to believe they had it two or three times for procreation, but they never enjoyed it. I do live for the day when adults can sit down and talk about sex rationally, without “morals” and religion getting in the way. Fact is, our bodies are built the way they are for a biological reason, and to me it just makes sense to acknowledge that like a grown-up instead of sniggering over the girl with the giant hoo-ha’s walking down the street.

In short, I’m pretty sure whatever president we choose will have a penis. (Hillary may keep hers in a drawer, but I’m counting that). And I’m pretty sure that he will have used it once or twice. And he might even have enjoyed it.

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