Tell Me You Love Me

Are you opinionated? Do you have a microphone? Do you have HBO and enjoy watching Tell Me You Love Me? Or are you at least yelling at the people in the TV while you’re watching it?

Poly Weekly is looking for one or more poly folks to review this new HBO program about marriage, relationships, communication and infidelity. If you have an opinion about the show and the technological expertise (a microphone, a recording program, and the ability to convert and send an mp3 file), email cunningminx at gmail dot com with the subject line: Tell Me HBO. Thanks!

Loving More “Loving Choices” 1-day Hotel Seminar, Sat. Nov. 3, SF

On Saturday November 3, Loving More non-profit will be presenting a 1-day “Hotel Seminar” in San Francisco. Akien and Dawn will be presenting 2 workshops, along with a number of other stellar presenters from the Bay Area and elsewhere in the country. It’s the first in a series of one-day seminars to be held around the country, aimed at those interested in polyamory and other ethically non-monogamous relationship styles. To register, click here.

This seminar is especially suitable for newcomers to polyamory, therapists and other relationship professionals, and alternative-lifestyle-friendly folks interested in improving their communication and relationship skills. Also, if you’ve ever wished that you could attend one of the Loving More Retreats, but didn’t have the funds for the long weekend, or if you prefer a clothes-ON (rather than clothing optional) environment, this seminar is a great opportunity for you.

If this sounds interesting, please read the full announcement below. If you have specific questions, you can call Robyn at 303-543-7540 (phone is better than e-mail in her case). Or you can bounce them by me in this post, and I might be able to forward them.

Please feel free to forward this announcement to any other people or lists who might be interested in exploring relationship choice and improving their relationship skills.

Loving More “Loving Choices”
A Relationship Seminar Presented by
Loving More Non-profit Organization
Saturday November 3, 2007
San Francisco, CA
Clarion Airport
8:00am-6:00pm (plus optional evening Social!)

In today’s complex world of romantic relationships, finding and maintaining honest intimate relationships is both challenging and complex. We follow rules and relationship models based on societal standards that may not work for us personally. Polyamorous relating is even more complex. Our relationships start off like a dream come true but over time things fizzle, losing their original spice and excitement or becoming more complicated then we can deal with. With only one dominant and accepted model for loving relationships, it is not surprising that many people are struggling. We at Loving More are aware of these challenges and we are dedicated in helping people become aware of choices and creating new models for loving relationships that work.

Loving More is pleased to announce a new one day Seminar Series “Loving Choices” focused on choosing what is right for you. Who says that love has to follow a specific set of rules that limit how you love others? Why pretend to be someone you’re not? Do you feel like you can’t be your honest and authentic self? Why fake it? Are you already involved in a polyamorous (or other ethically non-monogamous) relationship and are looking to improve your relationship skills? If so…

We invite you to attend the Loving Choices seminar and learn ways to increase your enjoyment at being your authentic self!

Planned presentations include titles and topics such as:
* Relationship Paradigms and Choices
* Practicing Skills for Moving Through Jealousy
* Non-violent Communication (NVC, or Compassionate Communication)
* Polyamory as a Path to Peace
* Creating Empowering Relationship Agreements
* Using Tantric energy for increased connection and trust
* Polyamory and BDSM
* Exploring Intimate Friendship
* Polyamory 101

Who Might Wish to Attend:
* Those seeking to improve their polyamorous (or other ethically non-monogamous) relationships and deepen their connections with partners

* People new to or exploring polyamory as a possible choice in their personal relationships

* Therapists, counselors and others who work in the relationship field

* Those who are looking to better their relationships with new points of view

Following the Seminar is an optional Loving More celebration and evening social. This is a chance to meet and socialize with other poly friendly people in a relaxing atmosphere. Hors d’oeuvres will be provided, and a cash bar will be available courtesy of the hotel.

Registration Information
To register go to

Full Day is 9:00am-6:00pm
Half Day is Morning (9:00am-1:00pm) or Afternoon (2:00pm-6:00pm), and
has limited availability.

Full Day Seminar plus Evening Social:
$110 Pre-registered (by 11/1/07)
$135 At the Door

Full Day Seminar Only:
$90 Pre-registered (by 11/1/07)
$115 At the door

Half Day Seminar plus Evening Social:
$90 Pre-registered
$105 At the door

Half Day Seminar Only
$70 Pre-registered (by 11/1/07)
Not available at the door

Evening Social only:
$30 Pre-registered
$35 At the door

Loving More members receive a 10% discount on the seminar.
$25 Cancellation Fee – No Refunds After October 28, 2007

Space is limited and pre-registration is highly recommended.

Sponsored by Loving More Non-profit Organization
Robyn Trask, Managing Director (robyn [at] lovemore [dot] com)

To register go to

Request for boobs!

Hey, guys! I want to make a video to go on YouTube to help promote Poly Weekly. And what would the Minx do but create a collection of photos of wondermous BOOBIES!

Are you boobielicious? Want to help promote Poly Weekly? Here’s how you can help: send in G-rated pictures of your boobies for the collage to cunningminx at gmail dot com with the subject “Boobies!” If your photos include your face, be ABSOLUTELY SURE you’re OK with that photo being posted on the internet.

[sits eagerly by inbox, waiting for yummy pix]

Better blow jobs

I’m not sure everyone will be able to see this, but the lovely SweetAinsley wrote up a summary of the presentation from last weekend’s TNGC meeting, with Jack Rinella speaking on Better Blow Jobs. Her summary is fantastic, with resources at the end, to boot!

You don’t have to be kinky to get a lot out of this information!

[Edit: SweetAinsley has unlocked the post and also kindly gave permission for it to be reprinted here:]

Better Blow Jobs, a talk at TNGC by Jack RinellaJack Rinella

In his talk, Mr. Rinella didn’t talk about the technique of giving head to a man so much as the attitude one brings to the table. (And we never did get a chance to practice.) A good blow job requires the sucker to be hungry for the cock, but it is more than just sucking. And while quicky blow jobs might be nice once in a while, it’s generally better to take you’re time. Especially don’t treat it as a chore that you want to finish as soon as possible.

Cock sucking is best approached with a holistic approach. The physical and emotional state of both partners will influence the experience, as will the environment. The more you pay attention to all of the influences, the better you’ll be able to block out what you don’t want and incorporate what you do. You can create a full body experience by engaging every sense and incorporating visualizations.

Each partner may engage their full body during a blow job by using their hands or feet to massage (or inflict pain upon, etc.) other parts of the body at the same time. (The nipples, for instance, can be seen as little penises that are wired to the cock.) One way of paying attention to his whole body is to begin by kissing his feet. Slowly lick up his legs and down his arms, paying attention to his extremities before getting to his midsection.

When you get to the cock, don’t engulf it right away. Smell it, breathe it in, stroke it with your tongue, and hold it quietly in your mouth. Guppie suck by focusing on just on the tip of the head. Add kisses and flutter licks. It’s possible to use your teeth gently in a way that doesn’t hurt. Vary things like speed, pressure, movement. Try to stroke up and down with a hand while bobbing your head. Lick and squeeze his nuts. Stroke his ass with hands; get a finger wet and rub his ass hole. Experiment with other things in your mouth at the same time like flavored lube or pop rocks.

What if you have a problem with your gag reflex? Work on it by practicing slowly. When you feel like you’re gagging, the urge is to pull back dramatically. Don’t. Pull back only about 1/4”. Breathe, relax, and do nothing until you’re comfortable in that position. Then try to increase the depth. However, you don’t have to take it all in. Deep throating does not necessarily mean a great blow job. Accept what you’re body can do, and work within your limitations.

As the suckee, you may increase your pleasure by practicing orgasm control where you can learn to enjoy orgasm without ejaculation. (However, if you hold back, it’s helpful to tell the sucker so that they don’t fear a lack of skill and become discouraged.)

Safety note: Avoid giving head if you’re mouth is bleeding, or there are open sores. Don’t brush your teeth or floss beforehand, as this may irritate your gums. Herpes, syphilis, HPV, hepatitis, and gonorrhea can be passed between partners during oral sex. (Flavored condoms are made especially for oral sex.)

How to Pleasure a Cock by Jack Rinella
How to Give a BlowJob by the Over-Educated Nympho
Fellatio Wikipedia entry

Poly Weekly #127: Radical Ideas on Marriage

The new Polyamory Weekly #127: Radical Ideas on Marriage is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to;
friend me on Twitter
and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

2:00 Announcement: Many Loves workshop in Chicago, October 20th!
Many Loves: Workshop for Individuals and Families Practicing or Curious About Non-Monogamy. This workshop provides a supportive and safe environment for people to explore issues of non-monogamous practice and identity. Topics to be covered include: stigma management, safer sex issues, physical and emotional intimacy, boundaries, jealousy, cheating and infidelity in non-monogamous relationships, types of non-monogamy within relationships (open relationships, polyamory, etc), families and children, the workplace, resources, social networks and alternative identities.

Saturday, October 20th, from 10AM to 1PM at the Center on Halsted (3656 North Halsted, Chicago, IL 60613). There is a $15 fee for this workshop and you must be aged 18 years or older to attend. Please contact David Rodemaker (472-6469 x 472) with any questions.

3:30 Topic: An Essay on Marriage by Nobilis
Nobilis discusses his ideas on marriage as a contract; what the justifications for and consequences of divorce show about the legal and contract nature of marriage; radical ideas on how to negotiate the marriage contract. Please answer his intriguing question: if you were creating your marriage from scratch with no legal or religious preconceptions, what would YOU put into your marriage contact? Minx wants to know! For his erotica, visit his site.

12:00 Listener feedback: the Seven-Year Itch
James comments that six years is about right–four years for the marriage, and two years to fight to see if they want to stay together; Crispin from Perth, Australia sends in an audio comment on how he pre-arranged the length of his marriage with his wife; Minx comments that what you negotiate now may not be what is important to you in five, ten or 20 years; Nobilis sends an audio comment about using a family contract with a limited term and specified structure

17:30 Listener feedback: Dealing with ex’s socially
James comments on additional factors in how long you should wait before being socially comfortable with your ex; E writes in from the other camp–she doesn’t feel any need to stay in touch with ex’s, but does speak up when she sees unhealthy patterns with the ex and current partner

20:55 Topic follow-up: STD rates in circumcized vs. uncircumsized men
Evan wrote in to comment that male circumcision is associated with reduced risk of genital HPV infection in men whether or not their female partners have cervical HPV or cervical cancer. Circumcision is associated with reduced risk of cervical cancer in women with high-risk sexual partners. In men with low-risk sexual behaviour and monogamous female partners, circumcision makes no difference to the risk of cervical cancer. The actual study is here.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

Geek hardware and software tips from J, our Geek Blogger!

Hi! J here, poly geek blogger. From the feedback that was given on the PW site, our first entry is on mobile technology and how to use it to communicate with your sweeties.

With all the continuing coverage of the iPhone I think I will talk about that briefly. I’m going to start by saying something that you’ll rarely hear me say, wait. It’s painful for a neophile to say, that dreaded “w” word. I think that folks should hold off on the iPhone. Unless you simply must have one, give it another generation before getting. I personally use a Windows Mobile based device, but I get to play with the iPhone at work. What I can say is the display is pretty slick and the multi-touch technology is pretty great, Google Maps rock, but overall the device is a little rough around the edges. Also with as tightly locked down as Apple has the device, it makes it challenging to get third party applications for it. Sure you can get the apps through Safari, but you’re working with the AT&T EDGE network (more on that below), so it’s not a fast experience. Give it another generation of iPhone and I think we’re going to see a pretty solid performer here.

So that mini-rant out of the way here comes a bit of boring explanation of the different mobile technologies out there. This is mainly useful for folks that are getting ready to upgrade their devices or plans or even switch carriers.

GSM: Global standard for mobile phones
CDMA: Predominantly used in North America, however there are some other countries that use it as well as EVDO for connectivity. Most carriers though are starting to migrate to the high speed versions of GSM.

I’m sure everyone has heard of “Crackberries” before. These devices are based on the JAVA operating system and feature great email capabilities and boast very high security. Until recently these devices weren’t the preferred devices for multimedia, music/photos/video.

User friendly. That is the best way to describe the Palm OS devices. These guys have been around for forever. Palm OS devices are pretty intuitive and great for people who are looking to do it all, email/photos/music/video.

Windows Mobile
These devices take a similar user experience to Windows PCs and put it in the palm of your hand. There are many 3rd party applications to add on these to be able to take your favorite movies and music on the go. You’re able to get the web almost like when you’re at home with different browsers for the devices.

Symbian OS
When you’re playing with a Nokia phone, you’re using one version of the Symbian OS. This is hugely popular and there are many options for getting new uses out of the phone. They tend to be more phone like and less PDA like than the devices listed above.

Types of Messages

SMS: Short Message Service. These are the text messages that are just text, no pictures or video. Pretty inexpensive per message as usually a carrier will offer unlimited domestic messages

MMS/Picture Messages:
Multimedia Messaging Service. These messages can contain picture, video, audio, and text. They typically cost slightly more than sending a SMS.

How do we use them to be naughty and/or romantic?
OK, enough of the dry technical stuff. What kind of fun can people have with these? Well, there are the obvious uses, sending text messages while you’re at work to your loved ones. Maybe you’re in the mood to do something that might make a SO blush, take a picture of something pretty naughty and send it to them. A friend told me a story of when she was sent a special picture of a very special “package” and a co-worker happened to see, who promptly commented on her being very lucky. Plus the randomness typically is appreciated–I mean who doesn’t love it when they know they’re being thought of? I hear that these mobiles even can be used to talk to someone! Who knew? The lucky folks across the pond in Europe get to do video conferencing, which could lead to some fun.

Search Google via your mobile device, even if you don’t have the ability to surf the web! Send a SMS to GOOGL (466453) with the message being your query and you’ll get back the same as if you had searched via the website. Visit for more info and examples on the different services.

Another great service from Google is GrandCentral. This service gives you a single phone number to give out to people. When they call the number it will track you down via your mobile, your work number, or your home number. The great thing about this service is you get to setup special rules for particular times or callers. This means your SO is able to get in touch easily. Here’s a nifty trick. For T-Mobile (MyFave) or AllTel (my circle) customers, if you’re wanting to get incoming calls for free, set your GrandCentral number to be the one that displays as the calls are routed to your mobile, set your GrandCentral number as one of your free ones. Then all the calls from GrandCentral are free! In another article I’ll explain how to setup your own VOIP system for your home phone, as part of it you’ll have a dial in number that will allow you to call out for free as well.

Have a Windows Mobile device? Use Firefox on your PC? Visit to download the PDA Phone version of the browser. Folks that are using the Smartphone version of the OS, T-Mobile Dash/Motorola Q/Samsung BlackJack, it’s a bit rough of an experience.

Speaking of alternate browsers on the devices, Opera makes a pretty slick mobile browser. The downside to it is that this is a paid piece of software. I played with the beta version and I was pretty happy with it.

I see many people using the Windows Mobile devices and Macs. One product that will sync the two is The Missing Sync. I have not personally used this, however it supports up to the latest handhelds via support for Windows Mobile 6.

Linux support for syncing to Windows Mobile devices is fairly slim. One that is compatible with Windows Mobile 2003 as well as Windows Mobile 5, is SynCE. Be sure to check the compatibility lists to see if your device is supported.

Ok folks, I know this was a bit sporadic but I wasn’t sure exactly what people were looking for. Time for some more feedback. What I’d like you guys to do is tell me what you liked about this and what you didn’t like. I’ll see if Minx can get a poll going and we’ll go from there. Thanks!

Seriously yummy erotica from Mako

Courtesy of Mako Allen, some yummy techo-, gender-bending erotica. It’s not specifically poly, so I can’t get away with including it in the feed, but tell me this doesn’t turn you on.

Gadget Lust by Mako Allen

Seriously, my doctor prescribed the Rabbit

Yes, there are medical uses for vibrators.

In fact, as this article reminds us, vibrators were originally designed to treat “hysteria” in women. This has always led me to imagine a lot of women faking “hysteria” in order to go visit the doctor, who presumably knew where the clitoris is and how to treat it. I mean, hey, when I went without orgasms for too long, I get pretty grouchy, too. I wonder if “hysteria” was just fancy term for “raving bitch” back then?

I’ve used orgasms to treat headaches, sinus infections and even sleeplessness. What have YOU used your sex toys to treat?

Poly Weekly #126: Cool Sex and Adult Podcasts

The new Polyamory Weekly #126: Cool Sex and Adult Podcasts is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:20 Announcement: Adam Curry said my name!
Adam Curry reviewed Polyamory Weekly and other adult podcasts on Podfinder #28 this week.

3:30 Interview: Nikol of the Midwest Teen Sex Show
Nikol sits down with Steve Eley, Graydancer and me to talk about her experiences with women and her personal thoughts on polyamory.

13:20 Interview: Fausto of the Feast of Fools Gay Fun Show
Fausto talks about filming G-rated porn at Podcast Expo; cake-sitting; using YouTube to promote your podcast; how awesome Grammar Girl is

22:00 Interview: The HusBands
Ben and Chris share secrets of how to help married men stay married men!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #125: The Seven-Year Itch

The new Polyamory Weekly #125: The Seven-Year Itch is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments. We’ll do a meetup in the Los Angeles area for Podcast Expo.

2:00 Listener Feedback
Erik wrote in to announce he’s founded the Ethi-Q Slutdom”, for the Albuquerque-centric Ethical Slut and has also started a quotes wiki for Poly Weekly listeners!; J sent in a link to all Heinlein archives online

4:50 Comments: Poly erotica and Keeping Ex’s as friends
Michael says he can no longer listen in the car! Donut Rooter also keeps her ex’s as friends;

7:00 Poly Weekly is “socially destructive”!!
If you missed this post, please respond as if you found deviant magazine’s in your child’s possession. 🙂 Minx goes on a rant about intolerance and brainwashing of children and lets her listeners rant as well.

13:00 Topic: Shoud the Seven-Year Itch Legalized?
This article cites a Bavarian politician who proposed that marriage be for seven years with an option to renew. Notice how her opponent, who considers this idea un-Christian, has had a dent put in his reputation because he had a child by his mistress. Minx talks about the flawed concept of lifetime love and devotion and is all for the idea of marriage lasting, say, just four years, based on Helen Fisher’s research on The Anatomy of Love and the fact that across 62 cultures, divorce rates peak at the four-year mark.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

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