Poly Weekly Book Club (NEW LOCATION): Wednesday, Sept. 3rd

Hello, all.

A quick reminder for next month’s Poly Weekly Book Club. Since it turns out that the city location isn’t convenient for most of the group, I’ve scoped out a new one that will be closer for most regular PWBookers:

Lido’s Caffe
122 N. Marion St.
Oak Park, IL 60301
708-660-0060
www.lidoscaffe.com

It’s 1/2 block from the Oak Park Metra stop and 1 1/2 blocks from the Harlem Green line stop. Metered parking lots are available on South Avenue and next to the shop. It just opened up two weeks ago, and they have a great room in the back with big tables for us. Menu includes coffee, Italian gelatto and even a few panini. They’re thrilled to have a book club meeting there, and it’s a lovely, quiet place for us!

Other details:

Wednesday, September 3rd, 6:00-9:00 p.m.

Book: If the Buddha Dated (and please come on out to meet with poly folks, even if you haven’t read the book!)

Please RSVP so I’ll know to look for you or if you have any questions.

Minx
cunningminx@comcast.net
www.polyweekly.com
206-202-POLY listener comments

Poly Weekly #169: Quit hurting my partner!

This week’s Poly Weekly #169: Quit hurting my partner! is all about how to deal with getting angry that your partner is hurt emotionally by your metamour.

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

2:50 Topic for the day.  “What do you do if your metamour is hurting your partner”

5:50 this topic was brought up by Maverick when he called in with his comments.  He commented that his rage became “all consuming” if his partner is being hurt.  This caused Minx some disturbance and she suggested a therapist.  However, wow on the responses to this advice.

6:45 Maverick calls in and apologizes about his comments and says he is not somebody to raise his hand in anger and thanks Minx for her comments.

10:07 a caller called in to talk about this subject.  He felt Minx missed the point of the call and noted that he also has felt a “reverse-frubble” when something bad is happening to his partner/partners/metamours

12:10 Mike called in and was a bit offended.  He felt Minx invalidated Maverick’s feelings out of her own fear.

14:30 Minx brings up that when you are comforting your partner resist the urge to say “that <blank> was always an asshole>

15:50 Sam wrote in and felt that Maverick took a risk to expose his anger and feelings and was a bit offended by Minx’s response.

18:20 Minx discusses more ways of dealing with this “anti-frubble” feeling.

19:50 The next part of the show is feedback on episode #166

19:57 Muskrat calls in about episode 166 and points out tha everybody should be aware of the possible discomfort in others. He also mentions PDA also depends on settings.

24:40 Minx brings up some really good points on this especially from the perpsective of the new person/secondary.

26:14 Wolfpeach wrote in and loved the rant about the word “OK.”

28:24 Rob from Australia called in and suggested using “chapter marks” in the podcast.  Unfortunately, that requires saving the file in a format that is not supported by anything but Mac.
Announcements

  • www.genderodyssey.com
  • Poly Weekly Dragon*Con Meetup is Gordon Biersch Brewpub, Sunday Aug 31, 11:30 a.m.
  • Minx will be speaking at Dragon*Con on building community through podcasting/social media on Friday at 7:00 p.m. and on the Sex/Adult blogger/podcaster panel Saturday at 10:00 p.m.

Topic: Quit hurting my partner
A redux of Maverick’s question from Poly Weekly 166, how do you deal with getting really angry when your partner is hurt emotionally by her metamour?

Feedback: PW 166, dealing with PDA by metamours

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Escape Pod/Poly Weekly Dragon*Con meetup!

Gonna be at Dragon*Con? Want to meet other Poly Weekly listeners?

Come join us for the joint Escape Pod/Poly Weekly meetup this year!

Sunday, August 31st, 11:30 a.m.
Gordon Biersch BrewPub
Atlanta, GA

We have the entire mezzanine level, so come on out and have coffee, eggs and great geeky company!

Poly Weekly #168: If you don’t like it, you can’t have any

Poly Weekly #168: If you don’t like it, you can’t have any

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

2:20 Allen interviewed Oberon Zell for us.

2:53 Allen asks Oberon how he first got into polyamory.

3:00 Oberon talks about monogamy and non-monogamy in nature and how that influenced him along with things like Heinlen.

6:00 Oberon talks about how they used “Stranger in a Strange Land” to “feel” out potential poly people.

7:00 He moves on to the Church of All-Worlds.

7:30 Oberon talks about how these kinds of connections don’t need to break up with somebody just because you find somebody new, unlike serial monogamy.

8:40 Oberon talks about his triad and the dynamic.

10:00 Allen mentions the work involved in polyamory. Oberon points out the work is really the same kind of work required for a monogamous relationship.

10:30 Oberon points out that he likes having a built in “mediator”

11:10 Oberon talks about the motivation for his partner Morning Glory to write and article and the origin of the word “polyamory.”

12:23 Oberon doesn’t like the word non-monogamous as it is a negative.

15:20 Oberon then goes on to how the community grew from there.

16:50 Allen asks about people who are struggling with the idea of polyamory or learning about it, where does he recommend.

17:20 Oberon talks about jealousy and his (lack of) experience with it.

18:30 Oberon points out, if you can love more than one person, you are polyamorous.

21:00 Oberon talks about raising kids in a poly environment.

22:40 Allen and Oberon talk about the amazing amount of poly resources out there.

23:50 Thanks Allen for doing the interview!

24:00 Polyamory in the News!

28:06 Minx talks about her impression on the Secret Lives Of Women episode mentioned in Poly In The News

28:37 Minx is going to be at Poly Pride Day in NYC and giving a speech with Tristan Taorimino.  Sunday Oct 4th.  Minx is looking to do meetups, tweetups so if you have any ideas email Minx.  Subject line “POly NYC” or “Poly Pride Day.”  She is also developing ideas for her keynote.  If you have any ideas (must be appropriate where children might be) email her those as well.

30:11 For the first time, Gaia Point by <>

30:30 This episode is about her experience putting writings together about bisexuality and polyamory.

31:11 She was very interested in the poly community and the bisexual community and asking herself why they were so interesting.

32:00 She talks about the more academic work and other resources about this subject.

34:13 She brings up in the west we are raised to believe we are superior to the primitives because we have “monogamy.”

35:34 The question she was asking is, why do we consider some things sacred?

37:20 Minx talks about Jack Jaffe’s sci-fi podcast.

38:00 (man i hope there are going to be pix of Minx as Ineara -FS)

38:30 Promo for Jack Jaffe’s podcast.

42:42 Jacob emails about comments and was happy to hear bedroom radio was still being made.

43:30 DDog decided he needed to subscribe to “Making the Cut” because of the interview.

44:00 Next week we are giving feedback on episode 166 “Ok is a four letter word”.  People hvae written/called in about Minx’s reaction to Maverick’s comment.  A lot of people disagree with the way Minx handled that comment. (I am not one of those -FS) so expect a big listener feedback section next week.

Interview: Oberon Zell

Poly in the News

The Gaia Point

Promo: Down the Road
12VoltTheater

Humor: Tips for Dragon*Con
www.dragoncon.org

Listener Feedback
Bedroom Radio
Chris Lester’s Metamor City

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly Book Club: If the Buddha Dated

Hello, all!

It’s that time again! Grab, borrow, rent or steal a copy of this month’s book club selection, If the Buddha Dated: a Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path. Thanks to Mary for the suggestion! This month’s book isn’t specifically poly, but it is about creating a whole spiritual you so that you can go out and date happily.


Where: choosing a new location–stay tuned!
When: Wednesday, September 3rd, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
How: Go to http://tinyurl.com/5st8ze and order a copy, or check with your local library, read it, and come with comments
Why: because we all need a little spiritual introspection every now and then

Poly Weekly #167: Real people open up

Poly Weekly #167: Real people open up

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

(This episode was a bit difficult to timecode.  People didn’t keep repeating their names so I wasn’t able to always tell who was who.  I did what I can.  -FS)

4:20 This weeks subject for the online book review.  “The Myth Of MOnogamy”

6:15 Minx starts by asking everybody if they have read the book.  Tom and Eros both participated in the discussion.

6:43 Minx asks, what things really grabbed them.  Eros commented on how specific the conversation needs to be on sex and love.

8:00 Minx points out that her and a previous partner had different ideas of what “sex” and “scening” was.  Communication would have brought this out.

9:10 Tom agrees and talks about his relationship and how his partner and him come from different backgrounds.

10:30 Tom and Minx discuss different meanings of “sex.”

12:10 Tom points out that he is mainly mono in his relationship from laziness!

12:48 Greg has also joined us from text.

13:00 Minx asks if any other revelations from the book.  Eros talks about the meaning of “polyamory”

14:50 (I think this is Tom) brings up when your partner ends up with somebody you don’t think they should be with.

16:30 Minx asks Tom how the book helped him in that scenario.

18:00 The discussion moves to dealing with your partners when they start to make mistakes and how to deal with them.

19:20 Minx quotes from the section of the book on the kind of people to look for and talks about it.

20:07 Eros thinks you have a responsbility to say something to your partner if they are making a mistake but don’t badger them.  He brings up an example in his own life.

22:00 (I am not sure who this is, Tom I think) talks about the unique experience of being poly where you might have to help your partner with comfort on the loss o a lover.

23:40 (I think Tom’s) wife loved the book.

24:20 Minx comments the section on sexual health and safer sex practices and how much she likes it.

27:00 it’s hot in chicago! :)

27:00 Minx brings up the chapter on common challenges and problems.  Eros references back to the interview with Tacit to talk about NRE (New RElationship Energy).

29:00 Minx talks about her opinion on NRE using some excerpts from the book.

31:09 Eros asks if there is a way to tell when the NRE falls off.

32:10 Minx brings up other common problems from this chapter and asks for opinions.

33:10 Eros brings up time management and the group disucsses this topic.

36:50 (Eros I think) brings up three different definitions of love from the book and Minx adds to this discussion.

39:35 Eros felt the book made sense to him.

40:18 Eros is working through fluid bonding issues which starts a discussion.

Thanks to Tom and Eros for working on the announcing themselves.

Announcements

  • CPR for kinky people, Saturday, September 13, 2008, 10 am-6pm, Leather Archives & Museum, $90; Contact Descara: vdescara@yahoo.com
  • Meet and Greet, October 4th, Maryborough, Queensland, Australia

Online Book Discussion: Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up
Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly Book Club meets WEDNESDAY, August 6th

Hello, all!

It’s that time again! Whether you’ve read the book or not (Myth of Monogamy by David Barash and Judith Lipton), come on out to the Poly Weekly Book Club!

Where: Center on Halsted, 3656 N. Halsted, 2nd floor, white couches
When: Wednesday, August 6, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
How: take the Red line to Addison, walk two blocks east and one block north, or drive and find meters. Yes, we take a break so you can feed your meters!
Why: because this is a fascinating book on the biology of monogamy cross-species and will blow your mind!

Other details: if you’re hungry or thirsty, the Center is attached to a Whole Foods with a full deli; grab a bite and bring it along. And the Mad Baker usually brings us tasty snacks, too!

Please RSVP to Minx so we know to look for you. Thanks!

Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Poly Weekly #166: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:20 this topic came up from some conversations Minx had with people.

4:39 “OK” “fine” are both evil.  Get ready for a rant….

4:55 Minx brings up a scenario demonstrating how “OK” doesn’t provide information, instead it begs many questions.

7:11 If you are asking a new person out and you have a current partner, you will need to expect them to meet.

8:30 Minx talks about how tough it is for secondaries ending up mixing it up with somebody or both people from a couple and the challenges that go with that.

11:50 Your new relationships need some TLC as well.

12:08 Some advice for the Metamour.  Don’t use the word “OK.”  Say something like “I really enjoy watching Steve doing X” as one example.

14:45 In conclusion, don’t use “OK”!

16:00 Miss Poly Manners gives us some advice on how to fit new partners into your busy life.

20:18 SAS comments on episode 150.  He was trying to find the same love as his first love until he realized it was ok if they are different.

21:30 Molly from Oregon called in about a new book called “How to Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship” by Pat Love and Sunny Shulkin. zeigtucker.com

25:13 Michael called in about the interview with Tacit telling us his polyamory story.

26:45 Kay mailed in response to episode #154 “Metamour Relations” and asked about how much affection is ok in front of metamours.  Kay would love to hear some feedback from the listeners.

32:15 Maverick calls in to talk about frubble. He wants to know if anybody else has what you might call “reverse frubble”  anger at somebody hurting the ones you love.
Beki Rosenthal
Mistress Matisse’s latest Control Tower

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #165: Polyamory in Metamor City

Poly Weekly #165: Polyamory in Metamor City

Download this episode now directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Debrah Taj Anapol’s Love Without Limits: Surrendering to the River of Love, September 20-21, Tokyo, Japan

An interview with Chris Lester, creator and host of the Metamor City podcast

4:28  Minx sat down with Chris Lester and talk about polyamory and how it is used in his science fiction story.

5:43 Chris mentions that his story is more cyberpunk or science ficiton/fantasy.  (What?!? Minx has no knowledge of cyberpunk!?  i know who I am sending a copy of Neuromancer! -FS)

6:57 On his way to his new home in California, Chris took some time to talk to us.

7:36 This is an anthology series.  A bunch of stories set in this fictional universe.

8:20 The latest insallment is called “Making The Cut”

9:01 Chris talks about the telepathic community in the story who are communal and use polyamory as a standard relationship model.

10:30 The telepaths are a minority and use polyamory as a way of breeding faster.

12:22 According to Chris, this is a model for building up a society starting with small core group of people.

14:00 In this society, you take the strongest male and breed them with many women.

16:00 Minx asks whether a high level female is as important as a high level male?  Chris tells us why this isn’t the case.

18:51 Minx asks Chris to talk about the dynamics of the breeding cells.  Is there jealousy?  Chris goes into detail on how things are never how they seem on the outside.

21:05 In this society, children are socialized at a young age and the people who they end up socializing the most with end up in breeding cells together.

23:27 This story focuses on a low power telepath and his rejection from the breeding cell.

24:00 Minx asks, why lesbians?  No kids! (um, cuz we are nerds and like hot girl on girl? -FS) So they can make people bi-sexual?  Everybody must love!

25:20 Gay men is tolerated in this society, especially among low power males.

27:00 Minx asks about muse and how he came up with the telepaths and such.

27:55 Chris was influenced by an episode of Babylon 5 for his collective telepaths.

30:25 Chris uses this society as a metaphor for his problems on how the US deals with the world and the Church deals with the world.

37:01 According to Chris all sex is rape in the elephant seal community. (well, i would more call it aggressive, not necessarily rape. -FS)

41:00 too hot in the studio! must end the interview.  Thanks Chris!

42:10 Ellie from Bedroom Radio called in to let us know that Bedroom Radio is back!! Go and listen! Also, send her sex toys to review!

43:40 Must sex toys to Minx! Especially that iPod vibrator thing.

43:57 Amul called in with feedback to feedback from 152.  Some spaces such as sci-fi cons where time is limited it is ok by him to go to women and be more direct about your desires.

47:22 Pikachu comments on episode 161 about how he likes the new format for feedback.

48:14 Chris comments on episode 162 about the user manual and thought it was brilliant.

49:15 a friend commented that the user manual is all about minx.  What about what minx can do for others?  Minx’s response?  Contact the marketing department.  (ok, that made me laugh. -FS)

(Hey! I am wonderful too! -FS)
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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