Poly Weekly #174: Fearless communication

This week Poly Weekly #174: how do I speak up when I’m afraid of confrontation?; fearless communication.

Download the episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

4:20 our topic today “fearless communication is based on an email from mzadi.  The question is, how does one communicate when one is not comfortable communicating?

6:25 Minx talks about the need to be assertive in any relationship.  (what you want is important! -FS)

7:30 MInx talks about a friend with a different communication style than herself

8:30 there is a difference between assertive and aggresive.

9:00 the importance of honesty and confidence.

9:50 yelling happens, if it is necessary you an get used to it.

10:45 to get what you want you need to bring it up in a assertive and confident manner.

Topic: How do I speak up when I fear confrontation?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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Review: Inflatable Hot Seat

Seeing as I’m in a state of multidating singlehood, this little present from AdamEve.com seemed to be the best toy for practicing my on-top ride for the next strapping young man to come along.

Inflatable Hot Seat

The Hot Seat is billed as a “ride to the best orgasm ever on this 7” vibrating dong mounted on a velvety inflatable cushion! Firm jelly dong has multiple speeds, and the cushion features E-Z Grip handles so you control the strokes, fast or slow. Black. Holds up to 300 lbs. and uses 2 AA batteries.”

The hot seat is quite study indeed, and I’ve no doubt it would easily support 300 pounds. And the inflation aspect means it’s easy to store, which is a plus. Personally, I nearly passed out blowing the thing up, but perhaps that means I need to work on my own stamina! And then there was the mad scramble to find AA batteries that weren’t otherwise employed. (I ended up liberating a set from one of my lesser-used vibrators.)

At first test, the dong was… ahem… just too big and too hard for me. I worked my way up to it with smaller vibrators first, used a little lube, and then slid it in. Still, my ever-sensitive lips found the unyielding hard plastic a bit too tough to be comfortable. Yes, ladies, a cock apparently can be too hard! However, I did have a lovely time playing with different positions and found a lovely one (kneeling on left knee, right foot on bed with knee bent) that my g-spot liked almost as much as a real cock! If you lack endurance on top and want a workout, this is a good toy for you.

Pros:
Sturdy, easy to store, nice vibration control, great for playing with g-spot control from a superior position

Cons:
The lovely black fabric tends to collect cat hair and, in my place anyway, would require constant cleaning. The cock is one-size-fits-all, and a bit large at that; the hard plastic can make it uncomfortable and distract from an otherwise pleasant experience. It’s not detachable, so it’s rather hard to clean.

Want this or any of thousands of items at AdamEve.com for 50% off? Visit AdamEve.com with code “Minx” for your Poly Weekly discount!

Poly Weekly #173: Jenny Block is “Open”

This week Poly Weekly #173: an interview with Jenny Block, author of “Open: Love and Sex in an Open Marriage,” who shares her own story and struggles of being “normal” and polyamorous..

Download the episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:40 Minx gives us a brief introduction for Jenny

3:15 Minx asks how Jenny has been received in her book tour.  Jenny talks about how surprised she has been how positive the response has been.

4:10 Jenny talks about some negative comments she received after being on a television show.

5:15 Jenny talks about how strange it is that society accepts cheating a lot more than honest, open relationships.

7:55 Minx asks if we are used to cheating but maybe not so used to open marriages.

10:20 Minx asks Jenny “what is normal?” in reference to Jenny considering herself normal in her book.

11:20 Jenny says maybe “average” is a better word.  That you wouldn’t be able to tell her her lifestyle at the PTA meeting.

12:10 Jenny talks about the difference in poly/open people.  Not everybody looks the same.

13:00 Jenny and Minx talk about people who feel the need to watch and respond to things they don’t agree with or support.

15:45 Minx asks Jenny about gaining weight and how it affected her relationship.  Jenny talks about how losing the weight did not have the result she was expecting.

17:30 Jenny talks about differing libidoes in commited relationships.

18:54 Minx asks if we are blaming the wrong things for our relationsihip failures.  Jenny talks about how much harder fixing what is wrong than blaming the wrong thing can be.

19:45 Jenny and Minx talk about people’s expecations of relationsihps and how unreasonable they are.

21:50 Minx asks for Jenny’s comment to straight open marriages (i.e. not bisexual).  Jenny talks about how monogamy doesn’t really fit us as a species.

24:30 Jenny talks about expectations and her own opening up experiences with her husband.

25:09 Minx asks Jenny how the conversation went when she wanted to open the marriage.  Jenny talks about her original cheating on her husband and how the lying is what affected him.

Jenny Block’s Open

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #172: How To Communicate/Polycamp Ontario

This week Poly Weekly #172: How To Communicate/Polycamp Ontario talks about how to communicate with someone who isn’t all that interested in communication and a live report from Polycamp Ontario.

Download the episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:50 Announcement: Poly Pride Day in New York City
Oct 3rd through 4th.  Cuddle party, after party, poly pride picnic after wards in Central Park.

2:20 Topic: How do you communicate with someone who isn’t into communication?
This topic came from the forum started by Helena, who was concerned her partner was not really interested in hearing the details in her interest in other people. Suggestions include honoring communication styles, having a private blog filter, or writing letters.

8:00 Report: Polycamp Ontario
Roxane reports from PolyCamp Ontario with the following:

  • 9:00 Roxanne first interviews Lucas, a four year old whose parents brought him
  • 10:30 Next, Roxanne interviews Stephen, one of the executives of Polycamp Ontario and a panelist who spoke on long distance relationships. 
  • 15:50 Roxanne interviews <link=http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/>Andrea Zanin (The Sex Geek) Guest of Honor for Polycamp Ontario.
  • 20:05Will, another executive organizer
  • 21:40 Roxane’s impressions of Polycamp Ontario.

25:17 Listener Feedback
This is for episode #169 “Quit Hurting My Partner”
PolyGestalt responds from the person who is hurt and how it can affect that person.  He then shares a situation from his personal life with us.  You can follow the story here; 32:26 Caroline liked Minx’s response

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Review: The Liberator Wedge

Hey, there!

Well, I’ve been remiss to our fantastic sponsor, AdamEve.com, by not reviewing the fantastic sex toys and goodies they sent more promptly! But trust me, my friends have had a lot of fun product-testing this one for me! Indeed, couples were lined up down the street.

The basics:

Wedge The Wedge is billed as “the sex bed” you’ve always dreamed of” and “great for G-spot action!” And the idea is pretty simple: raise the luscious booty of your sweetie to allow for easier and deeper vaginal and anal penetration without straining the lower back or thighs of the, um, thrustee.

My question was primarily, “Is this any better than a pillow?” Well, in a few ways, yes. The foam is denser than a pillow’s, so it gives firmer support and won’t collapse under your body weight. And the removable cover is washable nylon, so you don’t have to worry as much about all that sticky Astroglide or Liquid Silk soaking into the cushion and funking up your favorite sex pillow. For a neat freak like me, washability of just about anything I own is a very big deal. Score one in that category!

Our product testers (yes, it’s a rough life!) said:

WedgeThe best thing about The Wedge is that it makes you want to brainstorm different ways of using it. In the end, I suspect many of the positions we found for it could also be achieved with an ordinary fluffy pillow or two, but there is no denying that The Wedge makes for some very comfortable missionary and doggie sex, with plenty of room for hands around the clit.

Indeed. Actually, the Wedge does come with a full-color booklet of different positions to try, so when the package arrives in the mail, you don’t even have to rely on your own creativity or fall back onto your favorite positions. Heck, why not try everything listed in the brochure, just to make super-sure you’re getting your money’s worth, right? :-) There might even be a few options in there that might just be a tad easier with the extra foamy support!

Click here for full photo, product description and shipping information.

Poly Weekly #171: But cheating is in my genes!

This week’s Poly Weekly #171: But cheating is in my genes!, a discussion of the release of the Swedish study on RS3 334, stupidly dubbed “the cheating gene” by mainstream media.

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

2:00 Announcements
New York’s Poly Pride Day, October 3-4

2:30 Dragon*Con Rehash

8:45 Topic: Monogamy gene found in study
Monogamy/cheating gene article

23:00 Book Club: If the Buddha Dated
If the Buddha Dated spawned heated discussion this week

23:30 Miss Poly Manners: PDA in public

29:00 Humor: Poly Definitions
Courtesy of listener John

30:15 Feedback

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly book club RAWKED! Next: October 1st

Hey, all.

Just have to give a shout out to everyone who came out to talk about If the Buddha Dated, a book that has sparked, I believe, more discussion than any other we’ve read! Heated debates broke out over such controversial topics as “hi, how are you?” (no, I’m NOT kidding!), what it means to be authentic and honestly you versus “fake it ’til you make it,” and we also had some quantum physics and philosophy in there.

Thanks to the 10 folks who came out and contributed to the discussion on Buddhism, taking risks and living in the moment. It was a blast, and our new location suited us well–we have the entire back room, and the gelato there is to die for (try the hazelnut!)

So, for next month:

Book: Open by Jenny Block

Open
Date: Wednesday, October 1st, 6:00-9:00 p.m.

Place: Lido’s Caffe, 122 N. Marion St., Oak Park, IL 60301, 708-660-0060

See y’all there!

Poly Weekly Book Club meets TONIGHT!

Reminder: Poly Weekly Book Club meets TONIGHT, 6:00-9:00 p.m.!

Book: If the Buddha Dated (and please come on out to meet with poly
folks, even if you haven’t read the book!)

Lido’s Caffe
122 N. Marion St.
Oak Park, IL 60301
708-660-0060
www.lidoscaffe.com

It’s 1/2 block from the Oak Park Metra stop and 1 1/2 blocks from the Harlem Green line stop. Metered parking lots are available on South Avenue and next to the shop. It just opened up two weeks ago, and they have a great room in the back with big tables for us. Menu includes coffee, Italian gelato and even a few panini. They’re thrilled to have a book club meeting there, and it’s a lovely, quiet place for us!

Please RSVP so I’ll know to look for you or if you have any questions.

Poly Weekly #170: Loving More with Robyn Trask

This week’s Poly Weekly #170: Loving More with Robyn Trask, a special interview with the director of Loving More organization.

Download this episode directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

1:30 Minx is off to DragonCon!

1:35 Today’s episode is an interview with Robyn Trask

5:30 <somebody> called in to let us know that there is a new poly group forming in Phoenix.  It is on the 3rd tuesday of the month of each month and the first one will be at Gaines Grill in the Tempe MarketPlace in Tempe, AZ.  http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/phxpoly twitter.com/phxpoly

7:05 Robyn’s schedule is busy!

7:14 Loving More’s office has moved to Loveland, CO.  The move was onto an 11 acre ranch where they hope to have some workshops, retreats, etc.

8:00 Minx asks Robyn if she notices the types of questions by the mainstream media is different than when she started.

8:45 Robyn tells us about an interesting interview she did with the Christian Broadcast Network.

11:20 Minx asks Robyn about her interview with momlogic.

12:07 Robyn talks about the various interviews she has done with the mainstream media.

14:04 Robyn talks about TV appearances she was pulled from and some that she has done.

17:10 Minx asks Robyn about her kids and how they were raised and how they react to poly.

21:05 Robyn brings up the subject of her divorce.

22:50 Minx asks about live-in lovers.  Robyn talks about a triad her and her husband were in.

23:48 Minx asks for advice for people who are poly and have kids but are going through a divorce.

26:30 Robyn brings up media people who say “I guess your marriage didn’t work out”

27:30 Minx asks “what is the one question you wish journalists would quit asking already”  Robyn really wishes they would stop making assumptions.

29:08 Minx asks Robyn about her activism and why she chose to dedicate her life to promoting polyamory

33:30 Minx and Robyn talk about being poly and single

34:35 Choices seminar in Texas in the Fall.  This is for therapists, social workers, and newbies.

35:08 Annual east coast retreat is coming up in the first weekend in september.

35:30 Feb is the Poly Living conference in Philadelphia.

All of these are available on the website.

36:30 Robyn talks about how it feels to go to a seminar as a newbie.

37:20 Robyn talks about the retreats

39:30 One last question, what is Robyn’s favorite topic at poly events.  Robyn tells us her pet topic is the word polyamory and it’s use.

43:30 new website coming so keep an eye out for that!
Announcements

  • Poly Weekly Dragon*Con Meetup is Gordon Biersch Brewpub, Sunday Aug 31, 11:30 a.m.
  • Minx will be speaking at Dragon*Con on building community through podcasting/social media on Friday at 7:00 p.m. and on the Sex/Adult blogger/podcaster panel Saturday at 10:00 p.m.

Interview: Robyn Trask of Loving More

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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