Sex 2.0: Out: the challenges and rewards of being sex-positive

GraydancerFrom Graydancer‘s session at Sex 2.0:

  • “When you come out, you make yourself vulnerable to disapproval, criticism, and discrimination.” -Pat Califia
  • Coming out to partner/children: lead your children down a critical thinking path to determine where prejudices and biases come from
  • Downside of coming out to children: you become a resource for thing like anal sex
  • Best response from a family member: “I don’t approve of it, but I can see why you do it.”
  • Worst response from a family member: “You’re dumb.”
  • Tip: have at least one token vanilla friend
  • Great case study of someone who was out at work: Jack McGeorge, the openly kinky weapons inspector. When opponents tried to discredit him, his boss Hans Blix stood up for him and refused to accept his resignation
  • YKIOK = “your kink is OK”–a response Graydancer got when he came out at work
  • Others benefit from your living out loud: if someone has come out to a person before, it’s more likely that person will be more accepting/familiar with the idea the next time
  • What catalyzes change? Pride, self-esteem, self-disclosure
  • Sex-negative=don’t do anything to be ashamed of. Sex-positive: don’t be ashamed of the things you do

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