Matt Bullen and Terisa Greenan (of Family the web series) answer YOUR questions about parenting in a poly situation
Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.
Interview: Poly parenting
Matt Bullen and Terisa Greenan share their experiences on being poly with children and thoughts on explaining poly to kids.
Do the kids know? Do you worry about the kids telling others?
- They came out to the child’s teacher, who was supportive
- They proactively asked the teacher if the child seemed damaged or seemed to suffer any ill effects because of the poly situation
- They explain to the child that not everyone agrees with and lives in the same lifestyle, and that some people think it’s bad
- They explained that he doesn’t have to live that way when he grows up; he can do whatever he wants
How does a poly woman choose the genetic donor for her baby if she has multiple partners? Does she give everyone a chance and let the best sperm win?
- For Terisa, one long-term partner had an interest in having children, and the other didn’t
- Matt points out that the current configuration was only possible through the graciousness of the participating partners and with the consent of Matt and Vera’s son
How do you answer questions and when do you come out to kids?
- Don’t keep secrets from your kids. Anything more than a one-night stand needs to be explained openly.
- Matt’s advice: relax. Some people will criticize you, some won’t speak to you, and at some point your kid will walk in on something inappropriate, just as with monogamy. Relax!
- If you are comfortable with your poly, then your kid will be. Kids pick up on your hesitancy and fear.
Is there an age for kids that’s easiest to move a new partner in or an age that’s more difficult for kids to handle the change?
It’s case by case and situation-specific. Communication, negotiation, honesty. Your kids learn how to react to things from you.
If you haven’t already, check out their awesome production, Family the Web Series.
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Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”