Poly Weekly 254: Is marriage out of style?

Kickin’ it back, old school with Graydancer of the Ropecast

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GraydancerIntroduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.


  • Welcome to our old-school cohost, Graydancer of the Ropecast
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  • Thanks to Kotu for our new WordPress design–isn’t it pretty?
  • Don’t miss Poly Living Seattle Oct 22-24, 2010

Is marriage out of style and other poly questions

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Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

2 comments to Poly Weekly 254: Is marriage out of style?

  • Hi Minx,

    I am a gender-queer individual and for a time I dated someone else who was also. During that time, to help us both to be more comfortable talking about our bodies, I came up with a couple of words to help us describe our genitals, etc. Anyway, these words, seemed to REALLY work well for us, and we got to the point of using them quite comfortably in all of our conversations concerning ourselves:

    • lopa (said low-pä) – the genital area of a person, specifically without reference to whether it is female-looking or male-looking. “Penis,” “vagina,” even “genitals” are words that sound not only jagged, but carry deep gendered meanings and connotations. This new word, too, is to be able to speak about such part(s) without connotations of any sort of gender. It may have characteristics like, “white fluid leaping from a lopa” or “red fluid releasing from a lopa” or “lopas in each other,” but free of any gendered physical parameters. Descriptors are used instead of nominal gendered physical parameters. Parts are usually referred to as, “This part/canal/protrusion of the lopa.” May also be used in vagueness in relation to parts, “Your lopa is huge!” or “I adore your little lopa!” or “Your lopa is cavernous!” or “Your lopa is so long and protruding.”

    • qua (said quä) – any kind of fluid emanating from a lopa. The fluid may be any kind of color, be it creamy, milky, red, clear, yellow, or any kind of texture, be it sticky, slimey, clumpy, etc. This allows for any kinds of lopa fluids to also not have a gendered designation. Like “penis” and “vagina,” words like “menses,” “semen,” and “urine,” are often gendered and abrasive to say out loud. Qua is so much nicer!

    Anyway, these two terms, qua and lopa, seemed to work very well for us and others might also find them helpfully warm and wonderful.

    Thanks Minx for your wonderful podcast,

  • Cunning Minx


    Interesting! What was the origin or inspiration for these words? Did they come from something Scandinavian maybe?

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