Poly Weekly 260: Replacing “primary” and “secondary”

Special guest cohost Steve Eley chats about replacing  the term “primary” and gives advice to new poly kinksters

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Topic: A replacement for “primary” and “secondary”

      Listener question

      • Exploring poly and kink; how do you start dating?
      • What do you do when one partner wants kink only and the other wants full-on sexual relationships?

      Teaser

      Wrap-up
      Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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      Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

      1 comment to Poly Weekly 260: Replacing “primary” and “secondary”

      • K. Morgan

        At one point during this episode, you get a little bit, as you say, “snarky” toward people who defend the primary and secondary terminology, encouraging them to question why they are afraid, potentially, of losing that “primary” status. I think that your comments are insightful and your advice valid, but is it necessarily a bad thing to *want* to be a primary? Of course, being in an insecure place in a relationship is never fun, and if you are insecure, that’s a matter to be discussed with your partner.
        I’m new to the poly community, but it seems to me that you can be poly, carry on open and meaningful relationships with more than one person while maintaining different agreements with each of those metamors. I’m okay with each of us having other relationship, but I want to be the one whom you live with, I want to be the one who XYZ, whatever your arrangement is.
        Bottom line is, delving into your personal motivations is undoubtedly important, but if you find that you do in fact want a primary relationship, I’m not sure that you should be judged you for that.

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