PW 279: Polyamory and BDSM

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power CircuitsRaven Kaldera talks about polyamory in a power dynamice–and targets common misakes

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:40 Interview: Raven Kaldera on Polyamory and BDSM

Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.

  • Why do we need a poly book exclusively about power dynamics and D/s?
  • Why we should not take lessons from porn
  • The power of months of negotiation
  • Common myth: the BBM (Big Bad Master) has to make all the relationship decisions and simply instruct his slaves how to behave
  • Best advice: force your slaves to talk to each other to deal with conflict
  • Jealousy with owned slave versus part-time sub
  • Dealing with egalitarian partners; addressing Shiny New Lover syndrome with a current/egalitarian partner

32:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

1 comment to PW 279: Polyamory and BDSM

  • Ok, now this is interesting. See I’m in a very much “egalitarian” poly relationship right now, we’ve been together for about 4 and a half years now and we’re incredibly in-tune with each other. I find that our relationship works in a very similar way as is described in this podcast. We solve problems *not* by adjusting “boundaries” but by getting inside one another’s heads and helping each other find the root of the problem – be it an insecurity or a fear etc – and working through it together. Like you say a dom is responsible for his/her sub, we are responsible for each other. And it gives us both a feeling of growing together and it feels incredibly bonding. So I have a lot of respect for other couples [kink or not] who handle their relationships in such an in-depth way, it can be truly beautiful.

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