PW 292: How not to be a douche on FetLife

How not to be a giant douche on FetLife

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 How not to be a douche on FetLife

Best practices for getting FetLife booty and not being pegged as a douchebag:

  1. Tell us who you are.
    • a. Complete your profile before sending messages to anyone else.
    • b. Have a profile picture that looks like you (not your cock, girlfriend, slave or favorite cartoon character, YOU.)
    • c. Include photos that are primarily of you or your work. This does not include photos of the last 20 girls that sucked your cock. It does include toys you made, pretty rope work and artistic shots of scenes that convey a strong emotion and your own personality.
    • d. List your fetishes.
  2. Pay attention. Read a person’s profile before you message him/her. If the person is smart enough to specify what he/she does and doesn’t like in terms of approach, offers and play, read and respect that. Modify your opening message accordingly.
  3. Be civil. Being confrontational and aggressive or writing in all caps doesn’t make you a hot top, and no one is falling for it. No experienced bottom will associate aggression from a stranger as hot, safe, sane or sexy.
  4. Participate. FetLife is a community. Join groups that you find interesting and participate in discussions (see #3). Show that you’re not just kinky online or in private but an active member of the local scene with other people that know and trust you.

16:15 Movie review: Head in the Clouds

Joreth reviews Head in the Clouds as a poly-friendly movie.

20:30 Feedback

  • Grace asked how to handle mundane things like chores and finances.
  • Blake wrote on episode 288 on geeks and kink in to make a correlation between a creative, open mind and sexual late-bloomers, “I think being kinky and geeky totally makes you more intelligent than the average person.”
  • Angel responded to Matt’s rant against marriage in episode 288 to clarify a personal take on marriage: “To us a wedding is a chance to celebrate your relationship publicly with other people.”

28:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 291: Yes means yes

Going a step further for negotiating consent: yes means yes

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

  • The Geeky Kink Event is November 4-6 in New Jersey, including D&D gaming and TARDIS bondage boxes in the play space!

2:20 Yes means yes

A look at a new campaign that takes “no means no” to a more proactive level: yes means yes. Cohosts:

Franklin Veaux

Joreth

Puck

Active Consent
Yes means yes blog
The contemps.com on yes means yes

Slutwalk London on yes means yes
CafePress

25:10

“Dinner Party” erotica minigasms. Like it and want more? Support the Minigasm project here!

30:45 Feedback

  • 30 year old male asks how to get past the self-doubt and criticism when exploring polyamory for the first time
  • Amanda asks how poly family’s kids can be taken away
  • Dave, a monogamous listener, says thanks!

42:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 290: Football-loving poly

Where does a football-watching, beer-drinking, lawn-mowing guy meet the poly girl next door?

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visithttp://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

  • Geek Girl Con was a blast! Review of my favorite panels as well as the Everything you wanted to know about kink but was afraid to ask panel with Allena Gabosch of the Center for Sex Positive Culture Saturday evening
  • The Geeky Kink Event is November 4-6 in New Jersey, including D&D gaming and TARDIS bondage boxes in the play space!
  • The first Charlotte Poly Meet and Greet is October 16th at 2:00 PM and every other Sunday thereafter at Amelie’s Bakery, 2424 N Davidson St. It’s family-friendly and public, so come out to meet other polys! Email montague.blue@gmail.com for more information.

13:10 Where are the all-American poly girls next door?

LustyGuy makes his debut appearance on the show to answer the question, where does a football-watching, lawn-mowing, beer-drinking, girl-next-door loving American guy go to meet the poly girl next door?

Advice includes doing what you love and meeting others who love the same things: hang out with the local football crowd, join lawn-mowing groups/races and be open to coming out to your neighbors. Also, remember that just because one is poly, the rules of dating don’t change. Go out with your best self and an open mind rather than preconceived ideas about who you will click with.

34:40 Feedback

Nadine likes Anita Wagner’s advice for poly newbies.

35:50 Thanks to our supporters!

Thanks to N for the donation!

47:20 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 289: The Sister Wives lawsuit–and why you should care

The Sister Wives lawsuit and how it affects polyamorists

Alan from Poly in the Media covers the crux of the Sister Wives lawsuit–and why polyamorists should care

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visithttp://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

2:25 Suing with the Sister Wives

Alan from Poly in Media shares the details of the Sister Wives lawsuit and point out that this is as close to a lawsuit for the right to privacy within a poly relationship as we will ever find in the mainstream media.

  • Kodi Brown and his four wives’ family structure; only Kodi and Meri are legally married; the rest live together and call each other “sister wives” but are not legally married
  • The difference from other poly court cases that some poly groups have been leery of aligning with
  • The constitutional right/issue being questioned here–NOT the right to marry but the right to cohabitate lovingly in peace.
  • The reaction within the poly leadership community
  • What are the benefits of poly leaders aligning with and supporting this case? What are the drawbacks?
  • What is happening with the case right now

Links: Sister Wives challenge anti-polygamy law

Poly Events

21:00 Book Review: Resident Aliens

Book review by Kurt on the Joe Ashby Porter novel. Not a book to run out and buy, but a book with poly characters.

24:45 Feedback

  • Matt from Detroit rants on marriage, what it really means and adding preachers and legislation into marriage.
  • Lissie in Cleveland asks for more information on the kinky bed and breakfast in Michigan
  • Jeannie in Vermont comments on Sister Wives and asks why polys wouldn’t promote polygamous pride in Utah—she would.

47:20 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

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