PW 297: Poly for the holidays

Advice on the ins and outs of being poly around friends and relatives during the holidays

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Topic: Poly for the holidays

Sometimes it’s tough to be poly over the holidays. Which relatives are you out to? Can you introduce your lover to your auntie May? How do you schedule family time? Listeners wrote in via Facebook and Twitter to ask the toughest holiday-related poly issues, and cohosts Joreth and Puck help Minx to sort them out:

  • How to introduce non-spouses
  • How to prevent your poly-aware daughter from letting closeted poly relationships slip in front of the “in-laws”
  • Is being closeted OK to certain relatives?
  • How do you handle feeling secondary and isolated?
  • How do you manage economic disparities?
  • How do you deal with missing some and disappointing others?

37:30 Book reviews

Kurt shares book reviews of popular romance stories with contemporary, realistic settings: Jet Lag Blues and Kindle ebook Songbird.

43:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

5 comments to PW 297: Poly for the holidays

  • i just hate xmas and all the trimmings now cannot wait for new year, great blog by the way, thanks

    julia

  • Dan

    Hi Minx! I’ve been listening for a couple of months now and I LOVE IT! I have a suggestion for the financial disparity issue, it’s called Zippy-do!

    OK stupid name, but it works. When my wife and I were traveling before we got real serious, I made lots more money than she did and it was making us both feel uncomfortable whenever there was financial decisions to be made so I came up with this plan: We would pool our money together at a ratio that we both agreed was fair. In this case it was $75/$25 and we put that money in a ziplok bag and refered to it as “The Zippy-do”. While we were traveling, if there was an expense that belonged to both of us, (Gas, Hotel, Meals, etc.) that money would come out of the Zippy. That way we both had an interest in making that last as long as we could (Berger King or Olive Garden), but if one of us wanted to buy something or do something for ourselves, we didn’t have to feel guilty or ask the other if it was OK.

    We’ve even vacationed with other couples (platonically) using this method. For us, it seems to take all of the stress out of financial worries!

    Minx, thanks a lot for your Podcast. I have learned SO MUCH over these last few months!

  • Apologies for commenting on something six months old, but I just heard this episode’s questions about coming out to one’s family and had to laugh.

    I understand and appreciate that coming out to one’s family can be anxiety-inducing and difficult due to concerns about negative judgments or having to explain oneself. I do not have complications like children, living near/with my parents, or having a closely knit family with judgmental relatives. In fact, coming out to my immediate family as bisexual and polyamorous would be so incredibly easy for me…

    …But I am not ready to deal with the enthusiasm that it would garner from my parents and siblings. I strongly suspect that half or most of my immediate family would be fascinated and intrigued and encouraged to share their own interests, curiosities, and experiences, and I am just not ready to open those floodgates. Yes, I feel terrible that so many people worry about bias and negativity while I say, “Ugh, I’m not sure I want to hear about my parents’ favorite kink.” Still, the irony makes me laugh.

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