PW 309: the Myth of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction as a celebrity diagnosis is all the rage. But is it real?

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Introduction

1:00 News and host chat

5:00 Interview: the Myth of Sex Addiction

Dr. David Ley is a clinical psychologist and the author of a new book on sex addiction to be released next week!

  • First book was Insatiable Wives about permissive female infidelity and the hotwife lifestyle
  • Why the book was necessary
  • Is “sex addiction” just a label for celebrities who have more sex than me?
  • If sex is a biological imperative, how can it be an addiction?
  • Why has this arisen in our culture now, this idea that people can be addicted to sex? What brought this about?
  • TigressBooks asks: but is this behavior typical of alpha male? Not pathological, but personality type?
  • Nissyen asks: there are lots of compulsive behaviors. Does sex gets the addiction label because it’s so culturally taboo to be promiscuous?
  • Irish8m asks: isnt any action/behavior done to a degree that pushes other aspects of life out of balance an “addiction,” including sex?

References: the History of Nymphomania

39:00 Happy Poly Moment

  • Kit shares a happy poly moment about his wife getting a date she wanted
  • Funny poly moment from Clint and Kat in New Zealand

44:00 Wrapup


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Giving poly a go: Top tips for poly newbies

Rose Crompton of Vibrations Direct asked about poly, podcasting and my favorite sex toys. It was a fun interview and ended with my best advice for those approaching nonmonogamy for the first time.

Read the full interview here

Giving poly a go? My top tips for poly newbies:

Be prepared to meet parts of yourself you didn’t know about. You will find insecurities you didn’t know were there, and you’ll experience joy in ways you never knew you could.

Be patient with yourself and your partner(s). Remember your first attempts at monogamy weren’t perfect, either.

Worry less about rules and more about what you have to offer. As with monogamous dating, people with lots of rules and criteria rarely find what they seek, and those who are open-minded and easygoing find unexpected pleasures.

Own your shit – by this I mean baggage. If you’re not strong enough to say, “I was wrong,” “I need to bring something up” or “my last STI test came up positive,” you aren’t ready for poly. Being confident enough to own your own baggage and brave enough to start tough conversations is essential.

Start from a healthy place. Get your existing relationships healthy first. The ‘relationship broken; add more people’ model almost never works. You will have to trust your partner to tell you when you’re love-goggling, when he’s feeling jealous and when you aren’t pulling your weight.

Get a support network. Seek out local communities of real people who have real-life experience with polyamory and its ups and downs; having trusted contacts who’ve been there and can provide advice and a sympathetic ear is invaluable.

Read the full interview here.

PW 308: Poly in the Month of Love

Being poly in America February 2012–how did the world treat nonmonogamy this Valentine’s Day?

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Introduction

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1:00 News and host chat

  • Thanks for your patience with the audio—think we’ve fixed it

4:20 Topic: Being poly in February 2012 for Valentine’s Day

Poly in the media and how love and relationships are being viewed for this year’s Valentine’s Day.

22:10 Feedback

  • Musqurat calls in to correct my assertion that the word “polyamory” was coined by Morning Glory Zell. In fact, she used the word “polyamorous;” the word “polyamory” was first used by Jennifer Wesp in the Usenet group in 1992.
  • Fred writes in to share that he found his identity as a monoamorist who likes occasional play with others.

25:10 Wrapup


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 307: A Year of Sex

Mia Martina

A Year of Sex with the sultry Mia Martina

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 News and host chat

5:00 Mia Martina’s A Year of Sex

A yummy interview with the hot and sultry Mia Martina, host of the I Want Your Sex podcast and author of the memoir A Year of Sex, her foray into the world of New York sex clubs. The lovely and talented Mia shares:

  • Why podcast first and then the book
  • What chapters she got the most feedback on
  • If she would recommend the sex club path for someone getting over a bad breakup
  • Advice for those going to sex parties for the first time who don’t want to look like they’re going for the first time
  • 24:30 Sharing a sexy story

If you’re local to Austin, Texas, find her performance erotica troupe at Bedpost Confessions. Or follow Mia on Twitter.

30:50 Happy Poly Moment

  • Lisa from Boston shares a happy poly moment of her boyfriend using her girlfriend to make sure she stayed healthy
  • Shaun shares the story of his poly-unsure girlfriend starting to date

33:25 Feedback

Jane shares a happy poly story of being able to share the same bed with her partner.

35:00 Thanks

Thanks to Sean for his donation this week!

Wrap up


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 306: Polyamory vs polygamy

What are the differences between polyamory and polygamy?Polyamory vs polygamy dont be confused

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements and Host chat

10:10 Topic: Polyamory vs Polygamy

First, there is a great rundown of polyamory, including an interview with several poly enclaves, in the Winnipeg Free Press. That article on polyamory vs polygamy: “Polyamoury, for the record, is quite distinct from polygamy, which, thanks to TV shows such as the fictional drama Big Love and the reality series Sister Wives, people tend to associate with fundamentalist Mormons who practise plural marriage… Polyamorous relationships are post-modern, secular, egalitarian and consensual.”

Next, check out this Slate article asking whether polygamy as it is traditionally practiced is good for society and does acknowledge “traditional polygamy is a pre-modern institution with religious and patriarchal roots.”

Minx’s take on the five primary differences between traditional polygamy and modern polyamory:

  1. Motive: Polyamory has no organized religion or government sanctioning it. Polyamory represents an alternative subculture, so it tends to be characterized by a thoughtful process of self-structuring rather than adopting a model prescribed by religion or the state.
  2. Power structure: Polyamory has less tendency toward patriarchy. The pioneers of the poly movement have primarily been women, and there is a generally-accepted undercurrent of egalitarianism (apart from D/s relationships). It’s not unusual for a woman to be the head of the household and the point of the romantic/sexual vee.
  3. Acceptance of diversity: More sexual orientations are welcome. Those practicing polyamory are more likely to welcome gay, bi, lesbian, queer and transgendered folks rather than condemn them. There is an acceptance of the value of diversity of sexual preferences and sexual needs.
  4. Full consent of all parties involved. Some may disagree, but I would argue that both religion and state sponsorship hinder full consent.
  5. Lots of communication and negotiation. Since polyamory is not a given and has no prescribed models, everything can and must be negotiated.

25:10 Feedback

  • John called in to encourage folks to do the work and take the time to become proficient at being poly, just as one would practice for hours to become a virtuoso in any field.
  • Andy from Michigan shared a gradual coming out story that has lead to his family slowly accepting his and his wife’s OSO.

31:45 Wrap up


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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