How not to be a douche on FetLife

It is always my divine pleasure to present on just about any topic at MomentumCon, one of my favorite sex-positive events. It’s always chock-full of luminaries and sexy thought leaders with forward-looking ideas and insights. Great stuff!

My talk this year was a little more down and dirty. Based on the research you guys helped me conduct, I created a deck of guidelines based on the biggest complaints users made regarding sex-positive community sites such as FetLife. Without further ado, here it is: How Not to Be a Douche on FetLife.

How not to be a douche on FetLife

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PW 313: Everyday ecstasy and thinking off

Why Ecstasy is Necessary

An interview with Barbara Carrellas, author of Ecstasy is Necessary, on making tantric sex available to everyone on an everyday basis

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 Announcements and Host chat

3:50 Interview: Why ecstasy is necessary

Barbara Carrellas is a certified sexologist, sex educator, sex/life coach, and sensual
revolutionary. She is the author of a new book on tantra for the everyday user, Ecstasy is Necessary She answers Minx’s and LustyGuy’s questions, such as:

  • Why another book on tantra? How is this book more accessible and less woo-woo?
  • Isn’t tantra just breathing together for two hours and not coming?
  • What is “thinking off” and can you really breathe your way to an orgasm?
  • How can tantra be achieved with our distracted monkey minds?
  • 16:00 LustyGuy switchover!
  • What about the science and medical information in the book, which is remarkably detailed and accurate?
  • Why is it important that there isn’t one true path to ecstasy?
  • Was it intentional that the book is directed at everyone, not just the kink and woo-woo communities?
  • Angergasms, screamgasms and feargasms

24:35 Thanks

Thanks and welcome to new PW Playmates James and Haddayr as well as to Tara for the generous donations!

26:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 312: The power of introverts and orgasms at the gym

The power of introverts; female orgasms from exercise at the gym

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.

1:00 News and host chat

  • OpenCon Catalonia will be in Spain May 25-27
  • OpenSF is June 6-8 at Holiday Inn Golden Gateway in San Francisco
  • I’ll be at Kinkfest in Portland, OR March 23-25
  • And speaking at MomentumCon in D.C. March 29-April 1

10:00 Topic: The Power of Introverts

Susan Cain’s TED talk on the power of introverts and how to maximize individual creative thinking. The loudest person isn’t always the wisest, but work environments cater to extroverts.

15:00 Topic: Orgasms at the Gym

A new study shows that women can orgasm without sexual stimulation just from certain types of exercise.

20:45 Feedback: Episode 309 on the myth of sex addiction

  • Stabbity thanks Ley for making the connection with nymphomania about pathologizing certain behavior
  • Vir comments on the pathologization of sex addiction promoting both a double standard and keeping men from taking responsibility for their sexual bad choices

24:55 Thanks

To BobBe for the kinky $69 donation. And welcome Maura to the Playmates!

25:30 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 311: Rules? We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!

Franklin and Minx tackle the rule dilemma: do rules work in poly relationships?

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Introduction

Under 18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen.

1:00 News and host chat

7:00 Topic: Rules? We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!

Guest cohost Franklin Veaux has written extensively on why rules don’t work in poly relationships. And I agree; rules tend to be a substitute for actual communication and a fairly powerless shield against insecurity. Why most poly rules don’t work and advice on what to do instead of creating hard and fast rules.

38:10 Thanks

To Charlie for the $69 donation. We love that amount!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 310: Poly by orienation vs poly by situation

Does one have to self-identify as poly in advance of a situation in order for polyamory to work?

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Introduction

1:00 News and host chat

2:00 Topic: Poly by Orientation vs Poly by Situation

Should I be poly? This question is often asked, and a recent BlogHer essay questioning whether monogamy is the ultimate form of love or a restraint on one’s sexual freedom is better brought up the question: is polyamory a solution to a relationship with no intimacy?

  • Is poly of zero benefit to a monogamous-identified partner of someone who would like to be poly?
  • Does “Poly by Situation” ever work?
  • 11:20 What is required for a Poly by Situation effort to work out: every partner is fully committed, everyone voices their fears and doubts at every turn, no veto power

13:15 Feedback

26:30 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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