Thoughts on marriage as a conscious relationship and lifestyle choice rather than the default or the result of peer pressure
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Introduction
Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:20 News and host chat
- OpenSF is June 8-10 in San Francisco
- Miami Polyamory on FetLife
3:10 Topic: Marriage as a conscious choice
A recent Huffington Post personal essay questioning marriage as peer pressure in the 20-30 age range as well as:
- The possibility that even with a lot of love and communication, it might not be enough and the marriage might need to end
- The groupthink that marriage is hard but always worth it
- The lack of alternative relationship choices
- Marriage as the default rather than a custom option
20:20 Feedback on episode 316 Queer as a verb
- Alyssa writes in to say “Sometimes the radical, panties-in-a-bunch, queers need to chill the fuck out, and what better way to chill out than to realize that something you revolve your life around isn’t a big deal to EVERYONE!”
- Vir writes in to say that I’ve queered my relationship and my sex life (through kink/fetishes)
24:10 Thanks
Thanks to Meg for the donation this week!
Wrapup
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I chose to get married for legal reasons. We planned to have a baby. I am financially dependent on my husband. Stuff like that. We wrote our own vows. The ceremony was about half traditional, half fun and silly. It was an excuse for a party, of course. It was held at a science fiction convention. Our friend performed the ceremony for us.
My wife and I were effectively married years before we made it legal, with the legal part being for the many societal/legal benefits. We got married at the sheriff’s department, then had a big party with our bio and poly family. Monogamy was NOT part of our expectation going into the marriage, just the desire to continue building a life together.
Terri–
LOVE ceremonies at sci-fi conventions! Very geeky. Eli, what a great story. I love that both you and Terri mention that the ceremony was an excuse for a party and that the deliberation about the marriage was separate from the party aspect.