PW 365: Building your poly community with meetups

Wondering where the polys in your area are? Start a meetup and find out!

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1:00 Host chat

7:45 Topic: Building your poly community through meetups

Steve Culhane, an organizer of the Charlotte Polyamory Network, gives advice on how to start a successful poly meetup if you don’t have a group in your area.

  • Start a group for the right reasons: for community, not sexual partners
  • How to safeguard member privacy
  • Get started: schedule a meetup in a public place
  • Put newbies on your board! Bring on resources/help to keep the group going beyond your own involvement.
  • Take steps to keep drama out of the group
  • Relationship Equality Foundation
  • Don’t get discouraged when attendance drops—change location or ask the board for new ideas
  • Charlotte Polyamory Network

35:00 Wrap up

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7 comments to PW 365: Building your poly community with meetups

  • Thanks so much Minx for calling attention to my post and to Clay’s column. Yeah, words have a lot of baggage, including couple-centric baggage. To me, not losing site of your individuality, and appreciating and respecting others as individuals, is crucial to treating each other well in any kind of relationship. Put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others, etc. :-)

  • Yup. And I know that some folks get tired of our constantly pointing out couple-centric assumptions, but darn it, they are there! And the flood of responses I’ve received from episode 364, an entirely too common occurrence, tells me that couple-centrism is unfortunately still alive and well.

  • Oh God yes… That episode reminded me so much of this guest post I ran awhile back, from a solo poly woman who got dumped via “indirect veto.”

    http://solopoly.net/2013/01/02/solo-poly-experience-of-couple-privilege-love-and-losts-story/

  • I sincerely appreciated the tips provided in this podcast. My first visit to a local munch (for a general kink/BDSM/poly group) was incredibly off-putting. One man hit on me and one woman — who otherwise blatantly ignored me — gave me death-glares when her boyfriend talked to me… and those people were group leaders! I stuck it out and repeated attending for nearly a year, but kept feeling both isolated and creeped out by the this-group-exists-so-the-leaders-can-find-submissive-bisexual-female-playmates vibe, and eventually quit attending for the better part of a year.

    I just started returning, and the group seems to be in the process of getting rebuilt by a member who wants it to be a social group, not a cliquish party set/harem. I’m not good at social stuff in general, but will follow some of the tips (particularly about making an effort to be a greeter) to help build the group into an enjoyable and welcoming munch group.

  • I have to agree with Steve… Great advice in this one. Thanks! Love to be in a follow-up to this one! Atlanta Poly is going on 4 years and we have almost 700 members now.

  • Week–

    So glad you ended up going back! I’ll admit that I’ve tried out groups and never went back after bad experiences. So hope that folks take Steve’s advice to get their groups off to a good star!

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