PW 374: Four mistakes couples make when opening up

 

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

How to avoid the classic mistakes couples make when trying nonmonogamy

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1:00 Host chat

Nothing to see here; move along!

2:00 Interview: Four mistakes couples make when opening up with Marcia Baczynski

Thanks to Marcia for sharing with us these four tips! Where to find Marcia:

And here we go! The classic mistakes:

  1. Not knowing what you want. Poly may mean different things to different folks. Take the time to talk about what you want and direct the picture in your head; this also means you develop terminology for future discussions. It’s also useful to take stock of your current relationship.
  2. Going too fast. Many couples move way too fast, and a few move too slowly. Find your comfortable pace. This isn’t about restrictions; it’s about taking the time to enjoy experience, as with any romance. Enjoy the journey! Take the time to find your comfort zone rather than diving in headfirst.
  3. Avoiding jealousy. Don’t ignore the truth of negative emotions because you think it makes you a bad poly person. That only leads to uncomfortable situations. No one is too “good” to be jealous. Just admit and deal with your jealousy.
  4. Trying to be the perfect poly person. Feeling that you have to be perfect either for your partner or to prove that poly was a good choice for you are both self-destructive beliefs to hold. Nothing beats admitting your emotions. Practice some tough love on yourself! No one was perfect at poly the first (or even the last) time they tried it. Be willing to be vulnerable.

35:20 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 373: Sex positive blowout at CatalystCon West

Cunning Minx, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, Lynn Comella at #ccon

Cunning Minx, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, Lynn Comella at #ccon

What is going on in the sex positive world?

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1:00 Host chat

Welcome to our new affiliate sponsor, GetSTDTested.com Use code “polyweekly” at checkout for a discount! Or just click on the banner in the right sidebar. :-)

5:00 Topic: Sex positive mojo at CatalystCon West

 28:15 Feedback

  • Jason in Wisconsin shares how he and his wife came to get over the poly hump
  • Herbalwise comments on the legalities of marriage from episode 354
  • Vir asks about how to cope when a partner passes away

 36:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 372: Poly and progressive swinging

Life on the Swingset podcast

Life on the Swingset podcast

How does polyamory overlap with progressive swinging? The Swingset crew chimes in!

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1:00 Interview: the Swingset crew!

The Swingset crew talks about news in progressive polyamory and how much it crosses over with polyamory! Ginger, Cooper and Dylan are back after a previous non-monogamy blowout with Poly Weekly.

  • What is progressive swinging?
  • Why and when and to whom to come out. It’s easy to hide.
  • What is the line between swing partner, dear friend and lover or partner?
  • Why do we draw these boundaries, and can’t we do more crossover events?
  • Relationship fluidity and how to prevent relationship boxing

41:35 Happy Poly Moment

  • F shares an HPM about going to a poly meetup with partners and everyone having a great time
  • Jessica was happy to tell her partner about her exciting date!
  • D tells about moving in with poly and kinky friends but not in a romantic way. Minx says that IS poly, because intimate friendships totally count!

46:00 Thank you!

Thanks to David and Ginger, and welcome Rebekka to the PW Playmates!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 371: Poly and sex work

sabrinamorgan_1338669556_38How does polyamory overlap with sex work, and how do you maintain your relationships when it does?

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1:00 Host chat

  • Welcome to our new affiliate sponsor, GetSTDTested.com Use code “polyweekly” at checkout for a discount!
  • Want to help spread the word about Poly Weekly? Nominate us for the Mature category at the Podcast Awards before October 15

5:15 Interview: Poly and sex work

The lovely and talented Sabrina Morgan joins us for a chat about activism, fetishism and to answer listener questions about polyamory and sex work.

  • Former enemies are now advocating for sex worker rights
  • What’s the biggest issue right now? Sex work is being covered in the media exclusively as sex trafficking, where all consensual sex workers and educators are lumped under the same category and ruled by the same laws.
  • We need accurate data on sex workers, not just those 10% on the street.
  • Minx unintentionally brings up a topic: using words such as “pimp” and ideas of sex workers as disposable or a safe target in common parlance.
  • Grace, a PW listener, started working as a cam girl and was surprised when her boyfriend had an issue with it. Advice?
    • Good news is that sex positive folks are less likely to slut shame
    • Whorephobia goes a step beyond this; many still struggle with this idea that doing sex work makes one “other”
    • Don’t make your professional life something that is vetoable in a relationship. Economic power is not negotiable.

29:00 Feedback

Jane shares a frustrating story of couple-centrism and being expected to be instantly and automatically best friends with a metamour with veto power—and how it’s nice to hear about LustyGuy, L and me as a positive example!

31:00 Happy Poly Moment

KittenCalendar shares a story of being smushy, scared and single.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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