Minx and LustyGuy talk briefly about the holidays with their new blended family
2:30 Topic: Owning your own shit
Guillaume wrote in to ask what “owning your own shit/emotions/baggage” means exactly and for specific examples.
- Owning your emotions involves taking personal responsibility for understanding, diagnosing and stating your emotions
- It also requires recognizing that your emotions are primarily created within you rather than caused by someone else (except in cases of abuse)
- Owning your own emotions is empowering and usually very much appreciated by your partners. Once you can name an emotion, you can do something about it.
- However you feel is OK, including negative emotions such as pettiness, jealousy, envy, resentment and anger. Avoid “shoulds” and just accept how you feel.
- Also, it’s important to let others own their own emotions. The proper response to a friend or partner owning an emotional response is, “Good for you for knowing that” and or “thank you.” Don’t argue, agree or pile on. At most, disagree by saying, “You are the expert on you. However, I haven’t seen in you that negative emotion you just described.”
17:15 Happy Poly Moment
We are blessed with two happy poly moments this week!
- K wrote in to share her gratitude that, when her partner and that partner’s kids ended up moving into her and her husband’s home, that everyone was supportive, happy and shared very nicely.
- Leelee shared a story of one metamour offering to go out of his way so she could see another lover. Very sweet!
Steve offered feedback on episode 376 and gave us lots of food for thought!
- How to address listener questions Minx’s philosophy on being a podcast host and her goals of helping listeners while providing useful content to others
- Avoiding judgment LustyGuy chimes in and vehemently disagrees with Steve’s assessment, saying that we have no right to judge if someone else is “really” poly. Also he posits we should avoid making assumptions and judgments about the health of other people’s relationships, especially based on minimal information.
- 31:45 When to speak up Minx and LustyGuy address when you SHOULD say something about a good friend’s relationship—if you are a very good friend and really fear a friend is on an unhealthy path, you should absolutely express your concerns. ONCE. And then (barring extreme situations such as abuse), stand by them no matter where the path leads them.
Thanks to Steve, our newest Poly Weekly Playmate!
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