PW 397: Relationship land mines

land mine lolcat1LustyGuy and Minx pre-ponder common relationship land mines

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

3:20 Topic: How to prethink relationship land mines

Relationship land mines sound effect by harpoyume via Freesound

Minx and LustyGuy came up with a series of questions to think about to give some pre-thought to what kind of best person you want to be in a relationship. Even if you have rules against some of these behaviors, know that many or most of them will happen, anyway. And what will you do when that happens? (Please don’t make another rule against it or clamp down harder on the rule!)

So with the understanding that experience shock happens and you react in an unanticipated way, give some thought about some of these classic relationship land mines.

  • How will you respond when your partner falls in love with another woman? What about another man?
  • How will you respond when your partner is enjoying NRE with a new partner?
  • How will you respond when your partner dates someone who seems smarter or prettier than you? Richer? Better job?
  • How will you feel when you fall in love with someone other than your partner?
  • How will you see your existing relationship when you have a shiny new one?
  • How will you respond to seeing your partner hold hands or snuggle with someone new?
  • How will you respond to a request for privacy?
  • How will you respond if the new person wants to move in? What if your partner wants him to move in?
  • How will you respond if your new partner turns out to be more into your husband/wife than you? Will you be able to support them?
  • How will you respond when your fears are triggered?
  • How will you respond when you feel insecure?
  • How will you maintain intimacy and excitement with your current partner?
  • How will you keep up communication with your partner(s) to address issues early?
  • How will you support your partner’s new romances? How will you support their loss/ with your partner being hurt?
  • How will you support your partner’s choices, even if they don’t match yours?
  • How will you respond when you aren’t getting what you want?
  • How will you respond when your new lover isn’t getting what he/she wants?
  • How will you respond when your partner isn’t getting what he/she wants?
  • How will you respond when your metamour isn’t getting what he/she wants?
  • How will you support your metamour?
  • How will you maintain communication with your metamour?
  • How will you respond when there are issues with your metamour?

19:15 Happy Poly Moment

Erika writes in with a great story about being herself on OKC and getting great results!

22:15 Thank you

Thank you to ChasingJoy for being our newest PW Playmate!

22:50 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 396: Minx gets bawdy!

LustyGuy and Minx review a poly play, discuss a sexy article, and Minx gets bawdy!minx bawdy

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

7:45 Topic: When women pursue sex, even men don’t get it

This interesting article citing a number of studies about both rat and human behavior has been making the rounds. What do you think? When women pursue sex, even men don’t get it

19:45 Special: Minx gets bawdy

This time, Minx remembered to hit record! This bawdy story by Minx was performed live at the Bawdy Slam in Seattle on June 12, 2014.

29:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Lust & Marriage: a new play in Seattle

by Ron Richardson

Screen Shot 2014-06-08 at 8.03.20 PM“How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and another to say, ‘I could have done it better.’”

It’s an old joke and one you’ve likely heard. But, in the off chance you haven’t, I thought I’d share it for context and to help you understand that when this actor says a show it good, it’s good. And that is just the case for Lust & Marriage, A solo show about monogamy, polyamory, and finding your soul (mates) by Eleanor O’Brien and running at Theatre Off Jackson through June 14th.

O’Brien tells the story of her developing sexuality starting with herself as a young child experimenting with sensations all the way through her as an experienced woman visiting Burning Man and finding a life partner among the one night stands. It just turns out that said life partner isn’t “wired for monogamy,” and so O’Brien’s development continues. She uses hypothetical letters written to, and answers from, Seattle’s own Dan Savage to frame the events of her sexual life and to serve both as her guiding light and mentor that she grows beyond as she finds herself among the dust, orgasms, and jealousy of her sexual/life journey.

The stories do involve adult situations and the very rare F-bomb is dropped but it is all done through the filter of honest exploration and character and is never bothersome to anyone who can talk about birth control without being embarrassed. And O’Brien manages to switch characters with skill and grace. Her vocal work impressively identifies exactly who is talking at any given moment. She takes on the persona of various boyfriends and lovers and the audience is never confused and always right there with her.

eleanorTechnically she uses music as a bridge between scenes, an effort that was slightly undermined by the overly high volume levels, in some cases. Aware of the issue as she performed O’Brien managed to project over the sound when she needed to but the effort was noticeable to folk with stage experience, even if I’d think most audience members didn’t mark those moments.

As the subtitle says O’Brien discussed non-monogamy with the knowledge of someone who has lived it and the humor of someone who hasn’t take it so seriously as to learn nothing while doing so. Poly folk in the audience will find any number of humorous lines just for them and wince at the common stories of mistakes most all of us have made. As O’Brien discovers, supports, and undermines her own limitations we are all taken along for the journey and it’s a very enjoyable ride.

Well written, well acted, and well meaning Lust & Marriage is a fine way to spend an evening with a very fine actress who’s willing to share the wisdom her life journey has given her. Get yourself down to Theatre Off Jackson and take advantage of it while you can. Monogamous, poly, or something in between there is something for everyone in this night of thoughtful, fun, sexy, theatre.

Ron Richardson is an actor, writer and director based in Seattle, Washington. His new web series pilot is Norm Owensen, Medieval Mercenary, tales of a modern-day SCA fighter who’s down on his luck.

PW 395: Unbalanced triads

How do you cope when your new partner is more into your husband?cat_load_balancer_2

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

5:30 Topic: Triads

A listener wrote in to ask how to deal with being in a triad with a good friend when the friend seems to be more into her husband than into her. How do you keep yourself from feeling left out and excluded when she’s just not as into you?

Deal with this issue as if it were jealousy. Drill down to the root cause and figure out what the deep fear is. Try completing this:

When she is more into him, it means that I am _______________, and I’m afraid that that means that I am ____________ and that eventually, __________ will happen.

13:00 Feedback

Quath shares coming out stories.

15:00 Follow up to Minx coming out

Minx gets the inevitable family backlash to her coming out and shares her thoughts on the process and reactions.

20:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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