503: Loving someone who is being abused
How to love someone who is in an abusive relationship
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4:00 Poly in the News
6:15 Topic: How to love someone who is abused
S is in a relationship with a man whose partner is emotionally abusive towards him. S cut that partner out of her own life, but how do you love someone and remain in a relationship with him while he is being abused?
- Decide on your priorities
- Whether you remain in a romantic relationship with him, make it clear you are a safe space and friend
- You may have to watch him go to hell is his own way. It’s OK to remove yourself from the relationship if that process takes too much of a toll on you.
- If you feel guilty about that, keep in mind that losing friends is an important factor in “losing everything,” which is often the only motivation to change.
Bunny wrote in to say thank you—she recently had to break up with a kinky partner, and all the “owning your shit” lessons learned made it much easier to make a public announcement about it and make a peaceful transition, even publicly
18:00 Happy Poly Moment
Kendall wrote in to describe a poly victory: she has two boyfriends, one of whom self-identifies monogamous. So she became more closed in her communications with the monogamous partner. But then she opted to open up more and have those difficult conversations with him; they listened to the podcast and read More Than Two together. Having those conversations strengthened their bond, and for the first time, they implemented the Discuss – Distract – Do strategy for dealing with insecurities during a date, and it went great!
23:00 Thank you!
Thanks to Normand and Alissa, and welcome Tassja to the playmates!
24:00 How to make this podcast better
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