518: That NYT Magazine article on poly

That New York Times Magazine article on polyamory

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0:00 Introduction and host chat

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1:15 Topic: That New York Time Magazine article

In this unrepresentative 12,000 word article, New York Times Magazine chooses to show only dysfunctional poly couples and uses Kevin as The Token Black Guy.

This is their more representative follow up article

Kevin’s response post The Times Piece About Open Marriage Doesn’t Represent My Experience

Ruby’s response post What the New York Times Neglected to See

25:30 How to make this podcast better

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Commenting area

  1. Minx. I believe we’ve met at some point, my name is Anna Marti and I’m an intimacy coach, sex educator and erotic professional in Portland, as well as one of Gabriella’s mentors. In my research to present at Sex Positive’s Polytopia a few months ago I discovered your podcast and truly enjoyed your guests and the straight ahead no bullshit manner in which you present. When I saw you were doing a piece on the NYTimes article I was excited to listen, and then quickly disappointed in what seemed to be a polarizing ‘us vs. them’ conversation. Particularly in these times, when there is a dearth of polarizing diatribe, I thought it incredibly courageous that the Times would have a journalist work on this material for a year and have it be the lead story of the magazine. I found the journalist to be vulnerable and self reflective on what came up for her in the process of the story, which I feel mirrors most people’s experience when the veneer of dominant heterosexual-normative monogamy begins to crack. And I believe that’s what she presented. Remember it’s the NYTimes, not the Guardian or HuffPost. We’re talking a really wide net for ‘liberal press’, but still mainstream. It seemed you and your guests were espousing ‘we’re the cool kids who have polyamory down’ and she was fucked for not presenting the grad school version of polyamory, which, in my opinion would seem so far out of reach to a mainstream audience they couldn’t recognize themselves, therefore be unable to relate. Anything that makes people begin to think outside the box, and question narratives they’ve been given and options available is a good thing in my opinion. We have wonderful conferences and books and podcasts for the initiated. Keep the conversation going in a way that doesn’t bash those who are just beginning to explore. I’d be happy to speak with you about this more if you’re at all interested. With great Respect, Anna Marti

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