PW 444: When to stop lying

lolcat-liesWe all lie a little to be in the closet. But how much is too much?

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

12:30 Poly in the News

Polyamory: taboo for religious Americans but not for the rest

16:00 Kicking Poly Drama Testimonial

Kicking Poly Drama on Its Ass online course student Joseph shares his experience with taking Minx’s first online course—what it was like, and was it worth the time, effort and money to take an online poly course.

20:10 Topic: When to stop lying

Frustrated in Kentucky writes in to ask about a tricky situation. In an open marriage and playing with K, who is squicked at dating a married woman and wants to be in the closet about it. However, their mutual close friends have noticed their interactions and are asking about Frustrated dating K, so she is forced to lie directly to them in order to keep K in the closet. To make matters worse, K is about to move in with said mutual friends! What to do?

  • LustyGuy suggests not actually lying while still respecting K’s closet. Have you tried “I can’t answer that” or “I can neither confirm nor deny”?
  • While you do need to respect K’s closet, it’s also worth asking yourself what you need in order to be happy. Is being in the closet hot and sexy, or is it making your relationship worse and less healthy?

27:25 Thank you!

Thanks BJ for joining the PW Playmates!

28:40 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 443: So you wanna be Poly Wan Kenobi

Poly Wan KenobiOur tips if you want to be someone’s guide into first-time polyamory

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

  • Minx will be in New York September 24-27–ping me if you know of poly/kinky events going on!

1:30 Poly in the News

6:00 Topic: So you wanna be Poly Wan Kenobi

LustyGuy and Minx talk about their decision not to date poly virgins. But what if you WANT to? What about those who like being the guide on someone’s first voyage into polyamory?

Our favorite millennial Koe Creation joins us with her tips on choosing to be someone’s Poly Wan Kenobi and taking on the challenge of guiding a newbie into the poly fold.

  • Set your boundaries
  • Be open to being a guide to help your mentee to find the kind of poly that is best for him/her/them, even if it’s not your brand of poly—be willing to let go
  • Be the poly you want to see in the world
  • Stay flexible
  • Stop guiding/teaching when it stops being fun/rewarding for you

20:15 Feedback

Raven shares feedback on episode 440 about the power of honesty being the best argument for polyamory.

Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 442: How I Knew I Was Trans

250Lm-transgenderA fun and touching story of self-acknowledging gender identity

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

4:45 Topic: When I knew I was trans

LustyGuy and I recorded Cass’ amazing and touching story of coming into oneself and realizing when and how to acknowledge one’s gender identity. Thanks to Janet Hardy for introducing us to Cass, and thanks to As You Like It for providing the venue and promotion for this live taping in Eugene, Oregon!

TransPonder group in Eugene

22:20 Happy Poly Moment

Doug shares a Happy Poly Moment of frubble he feels for his ex-girlfriend.

25:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Painless Poly Dating 101

Thanks to the Center for Sex Positive Culture for hosting LustyGuy and me for this standing-room-only class!

PW 441: How to have a THREESOME!

Wanna have a threesome but don’t know where to start? Reid Mihalko walks us through it! threesome
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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

4:15 Poly in the News

reidaboutsex

7:40 Topic: Reid Mihalko shares how to have a threesome

Reid Mihalko shares his secrets to initiating and conducting a threesome—without the social awkwardness. This is GOLD!

44:00 Movie review: Her

Joreth shares a poly-ish movie review of Her. Find more poly-ish movie reviews at http://www.polyishmoviereviews.com/.

49:30 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 440: Q&A with Janet Hardy

IMG_3584Getting intimate with The Ethical Slut co-author, Janet Hardy!

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

4:45 Interview: Janet Hardy Q&A

Join us as we chat with Janet Hardy and take questions from the audience about the future of poly. My favorite quotes: “poly is very close to normative for college kids” and “it’s gonna be weird and cool.”

  • What was the first surprise about poly?
  • What bugs you about the poly community today?
  • What wisdom would you give the you right before you published ES? that a poly book would engender more hostility than BDSM books
  • How would I deal with a lover who takes my proposal of poly as a blow to their ego/why they are not enough?
  • How do I bring it up to my partner?
  • What are the next two decades of the future of poly?

33:30 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 439: When to come out to your social circle

IMG_3618When and how do you come out to your social circles as poly?

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

3:30  Topic: When do I come out to my social circles?

Listener Sarah asks when she should come out to the folks in her monogamous social circle—especially one cute guy she likes. Minx and LustyGuy recommend:

  • Whenever you want—it’s your decision
  • Be comfortable with yourself first
  • Be prepared for negative reactions and don’t take them personally
  • It’s OK to come out to individuals rather than a group

13:00 Feedback

  • Rambina shares a steamy audio poem Let It Be
  • Jim gives us follow up on his poly implosion

18:45 Happy Poly Moment

Missy shares a sweet, sisterly Happy Poly Moment.

22:00 Thank you!

Thanks to Luanne, anonymous, Steve and Teresa for joining the Poly Weekly Playmates!

29:15 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 438: Is poly marriage legalization next?

three wedding ringsSeveral Supreme Court justices mentioned the slippery slope argument against poly marriage as a reason to deny same-sex marriage. Does that mean we’re next in line for legalization?

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

  • Indiana University is doing a research study on polyamorists. It’s 20-30 minutes; take the survey here.

3:00 Poly in the News: Is Legalizing Poly Marriage Next?

27:00 Feedback: Poly explosion

A listener calls in to share a heartbreaking tale of a poly implosion.

23:10 Happy Poly Moment

PolyDoc wrote in to share how she had an opportunity to let an 81-year-old patient in a sexless marriage know about polyamory and consensual non-monogamy.

37:20 Thank you!

Cagey and Doug both donated $69 each, which we invested in Portland strippers. J

38:30 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 437: Talking about money

cost estimate dollars money add - Version 2That uncomfortable conversation topic: money

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host Chat

4:45 Poly in the News

Are polyamorists too evangelical? Piece on polyamory in The Daily Beast, quoting yours truly!

9:20 Topic: Talking about money

Barbara is new to poly and in a 2-year, live-in relationship with her partner. She pays most of the bills because her partner was laid off and has some health issues. She has struggled with jealousy. Recently, he asked her for money for a date, which she refused, calling it “a bridge too far.” Barbara pays for meals when she goes out with him and thinks his new partner should do the same. The talk was uncomfortable; he left in a huff. What should she do?

22:10 Thanks!

Welcome Jennifer to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

23:15 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 436: Date your species

reidaboutsexHow to date your species with sex geek Reid Mihalko 

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements

6:10 Kicking Poly Drama online course commercial

8:30 Announcements

11:00 Date your species with Reid Mihalko

The four-step process to dating your species with the original sex geek, Reid Mihalko! His great resources on dating your species, including video seminars on his dating your species classes, are must-watch! In four quick steps:

  1. Define your win-wins
  2. Define your deal-breakers
  3. Define your three-strike areas
  4. Define your “wiggle rooms”

41:00 Feedback

Credit where credit is due: the original impetus for dating your species came from Frustrated Femme, a 22-year-old polyamorist who is baffled that her boyfriends don’t understand her needing to date other people. Apart from dating your species to begin with (the better choice), the only other option is to take months or years to consider poly, keep having talks with the partner, and hope that one day he’ll be comfy with it (not recommended).

45:35 Thanks

Thanks to Lisa for her donation!

46:30 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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