Poly Pitfalls: Fixing Things When They Break

Thanks to everyone who attended the debut of our new class on poly pitfalls! We already have some great ideas for improving the class for next time.

Poly Pitfalls 101: Fixing Things When They Break

PW summer hiatus 2016

Hi! It’s Polyamory Weekly, and this is a special announcement.

Yup, after 11 years of continuous publication, I’m taking a brief hiatus. We’ll be taking two months off and come back to you with brand new content in July.

What should you do in that time? I’d recommend, if you have the PW app, going back and listening to older episodes that came out before you started listening–that’s what I do with This American Life. Or you can go to www.polyweekly.com and do a keyword search for your topic du jour: jealousy, metamours, living situations, money–and get a list of all the episodes that have touched on it.

What will I be doing with the time? Well, I’ll be looking for my next dream marketing job–so if you know a B2B or B2C organization looking for a fabulous content marketing strategist, drop me an email at cunningminx at gmail.
In the meantime, remember to be true to yourself, own your shit, ask for what you want and, of course, that it’s not all about the sex.

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PW 478: Don’t try poly without listening to this

What do you need to know before trying polyamory? (rebroadcast)

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Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Host chat

3:50 Poly in the News

6:05 Topic: What you need to know about poly relationships before trying one

Koe Creation and Minx highlight one of the most important pieces for you to read, review and integrate before trying a poly relationship. No, it’s not about jealousy. No, it’s not about dating. No, it’s not about safer sex. This is a topic that very few people discuss before trying polyamory and is usually the cause of the demise of the first poly relationship.

What is it? The rights that every person has in every relationship, regardless of the structure: Franklin Veaux’s and Eve Rickert’s Relationship Bill of Rights.

38:05 Thank you!

Thanks to Shelby for the donation!

39:05 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want to book us to speak or teach? Email lustyguy@gmail.com!

PW 477: What’s the trick to triads?

Is there a hack to successful triads?threesome (1)

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

  • Poly Pitfalls: Fixing Things When They Break is Tuesday, May 24 at the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle. Come join us! Tix here.
  • Telling a story at Bawdy Storytelling Seattle Slippery Slope tonight at 8:00!

3:00 Poly in the News

Meet the people in “Quads”

5:40 Topic: What’s the trick to triads?

Listener E writes in to ask if there is a trick to maintaining triads or quads—are there hacks that make some more successful than others? Or is is 100% chemistry and partner selection? E writes:

I once heard Pepper Mint say that triads and quads are the “graduate school” of polyamory. After being involved in three diverse triad-style relationships myself, I think he’s right. Getting any group of people together in close proximity is bound to cause problems, and this is especially the case when they’re romantically and / or sexually involved. Even when all parties have been poly for a long time, are great communicators, and know not to treat people as things, triads tend to run into problems.

22:00 Feedback

Aggie Sez from SoloPoly.net comments on episode 475 on hierarchies and on “sneakiarchies” and includes a link to her recent survey on what solo people think of hierarchies.

28:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want to book us to speak or teach? Email lustyguy@gmail.com!

We’re on Google Play Music!

Good news! Now, you can listen to Poly Weekly on Google Play Music! Click here to find Poly Weekly, and be sure to subscribe so you can listen whenever you like.

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PW 476: How do I know where I stand?

How do you know where you stand with a new poly partner?where do i stand

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

  • We’re on Google Play Music
  • New class! Poly Pitfalls: Fixing Things When They Break is Tuesday, May 24 at the Center for Sex Positive Culture in Seattle. Come join us! Tix here.

3:15 Poly in the News

13:10 Topic: How do I know where I stand?

Confused in California writes in to ask how to figure out where she stands with a new poly partner who began by lying to her about being single and who won’t give advance notice for infrequent dates. How does she know how much of a partner she actually is to him?

Minx recommends reading the Relationship Bill of Rights, which is a standard for EVERY relationship, not just poly ones. In particular, you have the right to be told the truth, to choose the level of involvement that YOU want (not what he/they are willing to offer), to feel and communicate your needs and to seek balance in what you give to the relationship and to what the relationship gives back to you.

22:45 Feedback

  • Viro from the furry relationship advice podcast Feral Attraction writes in to comment on episode 47, saying it is sometimes OK to talk to one partner about another
  • Heather writes in to share how poly has improved her sex dreams
  • Dee calls in with a new poly relationship term: “comet.” This is someone who passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome and when gone you were still in contact with that person in some way, but they’re not a continuous partner. Love the idea!

29:45 Thank you!

Thanks to Elizabeth for her donation, and welcome Amy and Dylan to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

31:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want to book us to speak or teach? Email lustyguy@gmail.com!

PW 475: When hierarchies collide

What to do when your hierarchy gets in the way of your actual relationships14341341_s

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

Poly book review: Dragongirl

5:00 Poly in the News

Super cool poly 101 video being distributed
Poly living and cohabitation recriminalized in Utah court ruling

10:45 Topic: When hierarchies collide

S is new to poly and started dating one guy, Matt, who wanted a primary + more structure (he’s divorced with kids and anti-marriage). Then she started dating Luke, who is unmarried and wants to be married. So Matt rushed off to find himself a fresh, new primary as she contemplates marriage to Luke.

Any advice on dealing with hierarchies when they aren’t serving anyone well?

20:50 Feedback

Grant writes in to ask when to share his user manual in the dating process

27:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want to book us to speak or teach? Email lustyguy@gmail.com!

PW 474: Recapturing your innocence

How do you recapture your innocence after being hurt or abused?4820153_m

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

3:30 Poly in the News

Polyamory made my marriage better—and it might make my divorce better, too

8:20 Topic: Recapturing your innocence

A listener writes in to ask how to go back to being that carefree, open person after you’ve been hurt or abused? How do you recapture that openness and stop fearing and mistrusting everyone?

23:25 Feedback

A listener calls in to ask where to find a poly glossary. More Than Two has one, and Opening Up is always a great resource.

25:15 Happy Poly Moment

Heather shares a happy poly moment involving metamour appreciation and good dental hygiene!

30:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want to book us to speak or teach? Email lustyguy@gmail.com!

PW 473: The myth of poly perfection

Is poly ever perfect? Is anyone or anything?8809875_s

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

2:15 Poly in the News

You, Me, Her: a new polyromantic comedy as reviewed by Kit O’Connell

4:30 Topic: Myth of poly perfection

Join Koe and Minx as they talk about the idea of perfection or a perfect type of polyamory.

25:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 472: Minx coming out udpate

Two years after coming out to her family of blood, what happened when Minx tried to go back home with LustyGuy? 44239090_s

Download the mp3 directly

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Poly in the News

9:00 Topic: Minx coming out udpate

Nearly two years after coming out to her biological family, Minx shares an update about an upcoming visit to her biological family. The blog post on how things went down. Long story short: I’ll never see my mom again.

25:30 Feedback

M loved our non-sexual relationship episode 469 and wants to know

28:15 Happy Poly Moment

Bill and Jen share a first threesome happy poly moment

31:30 Thank you!

Thanks to Coby for a $69 donation!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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