What an interesting article to compliment the mention of polyamory on Studio 60 recently. This article in The Floridian, a St. Petersburg paper, does what I wish all articles did: uses a real poly family to show how poly “works,” but backs it all up with research about the creation of the polyamory movement, issues with marriage and children, and the psychology involved.
Of particular interest to me were Neumann’s word on envy:
“I just wish I had that new relationship fluffiness going on,” he says. “It’s like the little kid in you seeing a new toy and saying, ‘I want, I want, I want.’ “
I am impressed that he made the distinction between jealousy and envy and can easily talk about what he wants when he sees his parter in the midst of NRE. Nicely done.
Also of interest to me because it’s very much my own style was this:
Ve Ard says she’s not having sex with all of her boyfriends. But whenever she adds another lover to her repertoire, she sends him a “sexual history disclosure” spreadsheet, complete with names of partners, the types of sexual contact they had and the results of tests for sexually transmitted diseases. She expects the same in return.
So when she and Dunphy initiated a sexual relationship, they exchanged spreadsheets and she disclosed to him that she has had human papillomavirus, or HPV, a common sexually transmitted disease. They also got tested for other STDs, including HIV, and shared the results with each other – and with Neumann.
“Because I’m sexually involved with her, any new diseases will affect me,” Neumann says.
I’m such a big advocate for full sexual disclosure of a new partner’s history to EVERYONE in the family so that everyone can make decisions about their own sexual health that this really appealed to me. And kudos to her for being brave enough to disclose her own sexual history to a newspaper!
Another interesting tidbit:
“Cherie (Smoocherie) invented the word polysaturation,” says Neumann. “If she gets enough partners, all of us are going to go to her and say, ‘Cherie, come on, you’re spread too thin.’ “
I’ve never heard this word, but I like it! Perhaps it rings a bit too true with me because of my own recent discussions with