Poly Weekly 252: Allena Gabosch

A smokin’ hot interview with Allena Gabosch, director of the Center for Sex Positive Culture

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

  • Reporting live from Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco!
  • Don’t miss Poly Living Seattle Oct 22-24, 2010

Interview: Allena Gabosch

The lovely and talented Allena Gabosch, director of Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture, shares the origin story of the Center in its current state and her own experiences with polyamory. Live from Paradise Unbound!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

VIDEO: Violet Blue at Gnomedex

Violet Blue gave a helluva talk on sex-positive education and emerging technology at Gnomedex. I missed it, myself, but delighted to see her kick ass in front of an audience primarily of tech geeks, not sex educators:

Poly Weekly 245: Media Whoring at Sex 2.0, part 2

Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Panel: Media Whoring at Sex 2.0, part 2
The Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0 last month in Seattle. In this panel, Cunning Minx, Danielle Sipple, Jasen Bartlett, maymay, Reid Mihalko and Veronica Monet discuss media strategies. Topics ranged from TV, radio, and print, to social networking and online media, to Twitter, to YouTube, to monitoring your presence online, to anything else that pops up! It was a lively discussion with this wide variety of media professionals.

View the panel video here.

Happy Poly Moment
Using the L Word.

Feedback
New to poly in Northern Virginia. Thanks to Marc, BS and Annie for donations!

Review: Shine, a Burlesque Musical
Shine was fantastic–review by Minx and Faust.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Sex 2.0: Out: the challenges and rewards of being sex-positive

GraydancerFrom Graydancer‘s session at Sex 2.0:

  • “When you come out, you make yourself vulnerable to disapproval, criticism, and discrimination.” -Pat Califia
  • Coming out to partner/children: lead your children down a critical thinking path to determine where prejudices and biases come from
  • Downside of coming out to children: you become a resource for thing like anal sex
  • Best response from a family member: “I don’t approve of it, but I can see why you do it.”
  • Worst response from a family member: “You’re dumb.”
  • Tip: have at least one token vanilla friend
  • Great case study of someone who was out at work: Jack McGeorge, the openly kinky weapons inspector. When opponents tried to discredit him, his boss Hans Blix stood up for him and refused to accept his resignation
  • YKIOK = “your kink is OK”–a response Graydancer got when he came out at work
  • Others benefit from your living out loud: if someone has come out to a person before, it’s more likely that person will be more accepting/familiar with the idea the next time
  • What catalyzes change? Pride, self-esteem, self-disclosure
  • Sex-negative=don’t do anything to be ashamed of. Sex-positive: don’t be ashamed of the things you do

Sex 2.0: The new sex educators

Ducky DoolittleNotes from Ducky Dolittle’s session at Sex 2.0:

  • Ducky started doing peep shows on 42nd Street and spent a lot of time being ashamed of her work. Then she met Annie Sprinkle and decided to become an educator. Got her GED and set out to create an army of sex educators to invade the world.
  • Ducky talks money: sex educators need to talk to each other to compare notes on what and how they were paid for certain gigs and share notes about the most reliable clients
  • It’s on sex educators to create a standard that others can look up to: we need accreditation
  • The trials of choosing a sponsor–we need to get paid for our speaking (and no one makes money from a book) but we don’t always get to choose each toy that the sponsors promote. What do you think of Sue Johanson or Dr. Ruth? The point: have a critical eye to content and talk to other educators.
  • Dr. Ruth still maintains a private practice three days a week–very few can make a full-time salary as a sex educator
  • “The number one way we learn anything in life is through gossip.” We all have the ability to be great sex educators if we take the time to listen to others.
  • Who is your favorite sex educator and why? Answering these questions will help guide your path as a sex educator. Who came up in the session as fave educators: Heather Corinna, Betty Dodson, Dan Savage

Poly Weekly 236: Will the gays get there before the polys?

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Topic: From Dear Margo
A quick commentary on a Dear Margo reader response: will the gays get there before the polys and why

Happy Poly Moment
From Christoforo: a happy poly square
From Clover: men in kilts bonding over heavy weapons, just to make me jealous

Feedback

Thanks to Tom for the donation!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly #225: Modern Poly Fundraiser

This week’s Poly Weekly #225: Modern Poly fundraiser

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements

  • Charlotte, NC has a new poly RPG meetup group: Mac’s Speed Shop January 17th 5:00 p.m.
  • Jade Gate Studio in Portland, OR is hosting a Year of the White Tiger erotic art show and after party, 6:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 13th, FetLife event announcement
  • Interview: Modern Poly
    A chat with Mai Li, the PR branch of the new Modern Poly website, a place for poly activists, organizers and general poly folks seeking education to gather.

    Feedback
    Poly Weekly 222, Metamours, Change and Insecurity
    Cheyenne on taking time away from the primary relationship

    Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

    Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #224: Modern Poly

This week’s Poly Weekly #224: Modern Poly

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements

  • • “PolyApathy”- unwillingness or lack of interest in “doing the work” within a poly family
  • Toronto, Ontario, poly group: the Toronto Ethical Lovers Group meets on the second Wednesday of every month at the University of Toronto Women’s Centre from 7:30pm to 10:00 p.m.

Miss Poly Manners: Poly for the Holidays
Advice on navigating the holidays with the poly family. Visit Miss Poly Manners Googe site or the Miss Poly Manners MySpace page

Interview: Modern Poly
A chat with Mai Li, the PR branch of the new Modern Poly website, a place for poly activists, organizers and general poly folks seeking education to gather.

Feedback
Poly Weekly 221, This American Life
Crispin writes in to dispute “everyone hates cheaters” comment

Poly Weekly 222, Metamours, Change and Insecurity
More suggestions for “needing a cuddle” from Vicky, who suggests “mimosa” and George, who suggests “cuddlesie”

Thank you!
Big thanks to this week’s donors, Jennifer and Patrick! You guys rock!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Newsweek poly video

Kudos to Newsweek for doing a fun, fair, lighthearted look at polyamory. And to the ever-fabulous Terisa Greenan, Scott, Larry, Matt & Vera for going on camera. We need more spokespeople like these guys!

From Poly Living 2009: Poly Weddings and Gay Marriage Rights

Diana Adams’ talk on Poly Weddings: the legal impact of same sex marriage decision on your poly family with Diana Adams. (I did record audio of this session with permission; check the Poly Weekly feed soon)

  • There is a legal bias against those who are sex-positive
  • Discussing “emotional pre-nups”–discussing what your relationship will look like and the terms of your breakup beforehand
  • She uses a forensic psychologist to help refocus on the issue of which of the parents is doing more negative parenting–the one who never puts the kid to bed or the one who does and who happens to have a locked cabinet of sex toys
  • The vibrator laws aren’t about vibrators but what it would mean if we allowed that: “You have the right to sell Tupperware, but not if there is a dildo in it.” Now focusing on how and whether these rules are actually to prevent harm.
  • Definition of “prostitution” in New York: sexual conduct for a fee. That is, whatever a judge decides is “sexual,” creating a culture of fear and shame for all workers, sexual and even sexual healers as well.

Prop 8 in California
The debate is whether this should be an actual amendment to the California constitution, which is surprisingly easy to amend. Diana argues this should be a court decision, not one put to the voting populace. There are now questions as to whether gay couples married during the legal period will still be legally married. She showed an Amicus brief from an organization associated with the religious right stating that because bisexual and polyamorous people can’t get legally married, we don’t need to give marriage rights to gays, either.

Same-Sex Marriage Debate and How It Affects Us
Diana explains how arguing that marriage is a fundamental human right actually harms the poly marriage issue. Lawrence v Texas overturned older sodomy laws, with an apology, maintaining it was undignified to afford homosexual citizens the same right to have private sex in their homes. (Does everybody know what “santorum” is?)

Two arguments being made:

  1. Sexual orientation should be a legal right as a “suspect class”, or group that has traditionally faced discrimination and thus needs protection. Saying that sexual orientation is a “suspect class” is a major step and very powerful. In states with civil unions, the argument is that allowing civil unions but not marriage for suspect classes is inherently as unfair as “separate but equal.”
  2. We ask: why aren’t we making the argument that the state shouldn’t be making marriages at all? The issue with making marriage a fundamental right is valorizing it and thus further entrenching it into our law, and we’ll no longer be able to separate church and state. This is dangerous because it’s appealing to morality and accepting the institution of marriage without examining it. We went from criminalizing to heterosexualizing our relationships.

Tidbits

  • We have passed the time where we link sexual relationships with economic dependency.
  • Participants recommend readings by Stephanie Koontz on the history of marriage and marriage as a tool of governmental control.

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