PW 370: Keeping one bad relationship from affecting others

How do you keep one deteriorating or unhealthy relationship from affecting others?

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1:00 Host chat

Beyond the Love 2013

Beyond the Love 2013

  • Check out the awesome new Beyond the Love conference, November 15-17 in Columbus, Ohio. Educational sessions, social events like poly speed dating and poly prom and the attendee-directed poly summit! Use code polyweekly at checkout to save 10%!
  • I’m presenting at CatalystCon on how to be a part-time sex educator Sept 27-29

5:05 Topic: How to keep one bad relationship from affecting others

bad influence lolcatMinx and LustyGuy give advice to listener S who wrote in to ask how you keep one dead or deteriorating relationship from affecting your other relationships?

  • First, your relationships are part of who you are, so there is no way to 100% avoid one affecting others. However, you can minimize the effect.
  • Good general rule: never complain about one partner to another. It’s unfair to both your partner (who can’t speak up for herself) and her metamour (your new partner), who is only getting one side of the story. Your new partner isn’t your therapist.
  • Get a therapist. :-) Ending your first poly relationship is nothing to sneeze at, especially when it involves continued cohabitation and transitioning to friendship without a break.
  • Be wary of transferring “anchorship.”

15:45 Happy Poly Moment

  • A shares a lovely story about a teachable poly moment!
  • Johnny Zavant shares a story about a good first poly experience

18:35 Feedback

  • Erica gives props to her own excellent communication skills
  • Julia shares a tale of being brave (which often looks a lot like being silly)

23:25 Thanks

Thanks to L for the $58.47 donation!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 364: I’m in love and got vetoed!

What to do when your relationship is vetoed AFTER you fell in love

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1:00 Host chat

Showtime poly series starts a new season

Now we’re “stuck” with non traditional marriage

10:30 Topic: I’m in love but just got vetoed!

L writes in for advice. What do you do when you trust that the couple really is poly and end up falling in love with the guy, only to have his wife veto you a bit later when she breaks up with her own boyfriend?

  • This sucks and is unfair and unkind.
  • Lying about the nature of your relationship isn’t healthy.
  • Expecting him to leave her isn’t terribly healthy, either.
  • Accept and grieve the loss. Value yourself and the experience.
  • Next time, vet the couple to be sure each person is stable, fully embraces polyamory and is personally secure.

22:35 Happy Poly Moment

  • B in Seattle shares a Happy Poly Moment. British comedies FTW!
  • Cate shares a beautiful story of a metamour leaving a footprint of food and love. Want to win a metamour of the year award? Be a Hot Dish Elf!

26:00 Feedback

32:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 342: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over the loss of an intense relationship, like a D/s one?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Minx and LustyGuy got back from vacation… sick as dogs.
  • PW friend J.R. Blackwell, an amazing photographer, is looking to photograph a poly wedding! See Blackwell's work here and get HALF OFF to the first poly group that engages her!

4:35 Topic: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over your Dom after an intense relationship and a rough breakup? Some advice:

  • This just sucks, kinky or not. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
  • You'll get through this. And you'll be better for it.
  • Seek out a poly/kinky support network for this and other issues. Being isolated makes a breakup even harder.
  • Find a poly/kinky-friendly therapist in your area to have someone professional to talk to. I did this, and it helped make the year after a difficult breakup much better.

16:30 Feedback

Lee asks for advice on losing a poly relationship and going from a poly family of three to just a couple of two.

19:00 Happy Poly Moment

Herbalwise shares a happy poly moment.

22:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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PW 339: Dating someone in a doomed relationship

Listeners, LustyGuy and Minx give advice on dating someone who is in a long-term relationship that is imploding

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • LustyGuy tells a story

4:00 Topic: Dating in a doomed relationship

A listener writes in to ask how to deal with dating someone whose marriage is falling apart. Should she distance herself? How does she deal with the soon-to-be-ex wife?  PW listeners give advice, including:

  • Stop dating him and be supportive friend to both
  • If the relationship is already long-term, don't leave, but offer to be a sounding board (we disagree that you should offer to be a sounding board but agree that not taking sides or speaking ill of anyone is key)
  • Be prepared to fail
  • Set limits by saying hurtful behavior and words won't be tolerated
  • Be aware that how he acts during this breakup is very telling in how he will eventually treat YOU

29:20 Happy Poly Moment

David writes in to share his experience going from cheating to DADT to honesty and is rewarded with some frubble.

37:00 Thanks

Thanks to David for the donation!

Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


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PW 307: A Year of Sex

Mia Martina

A Year of Sex with the sultry Mia Martina

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 News and host chat

5:00 Mia Martina’s A Year of Sex

A yummy interview with the hot and sultry Mia Martina, host of the I Want Your Sex podcast and author of the memoir A Year of Sex, her foray into the world of New York sex clubs. The lovely and talented Mia shares:

  • Why podcast first and then the book
  • What chapters she got the most feedback on
  • If she would recommend the sex club path for someone getting over a bad breakup
  • Advice for those going to sex parties for the first time who don’t want to look like they’re going for the first time
  • 24:30 Sharing a sexy story

If you’re local to Austin, Texas, find her performance erotica troupe at Bedpost Confessions. Or follow Mia on Twitter.

30:50 Happy Poly Moment

  • Lisa from Boston shares a happy poly moment of her boyfriend using her girlfriend to make sure she stayed healthy
  • Shaun shares the story of his poly-unsure girlfriend starting to date

33:25 Feedback

Jane shares a happy poly story of being able to share the same bed with her partner.

35:00 Thanks

Thanks to Sean for his donation this week!

Wrap up


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 276: “Okay” is a four-letter word

Violet Blue's Total Flirt iPhone app

“Okay” and “fine” are four-letter words–ban them from your relationship

vocabulary!

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Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:40 App review: Violet Blue’s Total Flirt

Review of Violet Blue’s fun new wingman iPhone app, Total Flirt.

2:50 Book review: Open All the Way

Open All the Way by Sexy Sadie

Kurt provides his review of Sadie Smythe’s book, Open All the Way, on her and her husband’s experiences with opening up the marriage, both in theory and in practice. They deal with jealousy, breakups and NRE and share the value and benefits of multiple loves. Kurt also shares their musings on the pervasive power of monogamy.

7:15 Topic: “Okay” is a four-letter word

And our topic today is a rebroadcast from July 2008 and relevant for everyone whether you’re poly, monogamous, curious or confused. Get ready for a vintage rants!

  • “OK” “fine” are both evil because it doesn’t provide information; instead it begs many questions.
  • If you are asking a new person out and you have a current partner, you will need to expect them to meet.
  • How tough it is for secondaries ending up mixing it up with somebody or both people from a couple and the challenges that go with that
  • Your new relationships need some TLC as well.
  • Some advice for the metamour.  Don’t use the word “OK.”  Say something like “I really enjoy watching Steve doing X” as one example. In conclusion, don’t use “OK”!

19:00 Feedback

  • Tina calls in to share thoughts that poly is reaching critical mass and easier to find; on having difficulty finding the POV of young poly folks (versus older and settling down); and on STI information and episodes
  • 28:15 Josh calls in about bisexuality—what do you think?

29:05 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly #222: Metamours, Change and Insecurity

This week’s Poly Weekly #222: Metamours & Change.

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements
Please follow us on Twitter!
The Fresno CA Polyamory group meets the Third Friday of every month (excluding November and December) at the Round Table Pizza on First and Bullard at 7:00pm.

Cohosts
Joreth
Franklin Veaux
Boone Dryden

Topic: Dealing with metamours in a changing relationship
Listener calls in to ask for advice with a situation in which she begins dating Sean when he and Jill were broken up. When Sean and Jill reconcile, Jill doesn’t wish to have a child while unmarried, so they marry with caller’s blessing, who hopes Jill will then be happy and secure. However, Jill continues to be even more hostile towards the caller. What to do?

Hosts bring up the issues of assumptions: what does marriage mean to you? Where do you see each person’s place in the new relationship?

Happy poly moment of the week!
EdgesBiz: seeing three loving faces after orgasm
Katie: family support after ACL injury

Feedback: Poly Weekly 219: Success and Divorce
Frances and Jazmin offer Steve Pavlina support via Facebook
“Needing a cuddle”
• “Fuzzy”
• Eynstein suggests “tjØnndau” or “shundy”
Doolies called in about getting love and support during an HSV episode

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #219: Success and Divorce

This week’s Poly Weekly #219: Success and Divorce.

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

This week’s cohosts
PepperMint, bisexual and poly activist
Joreth, poly/kinky activist

Announcements

  • Please take the Wizzard podcast survey
  • Family DVDs available for $25
  • Global Orgasm Day is December 21st
  • ADutch magazine YES is running an article on Polyamory in their January 20-27 edition. Twitter @ageethveenemans if you’re 20-27 and available for an interview.
  • The site Modern Poly is up and running; register here
  • Open Love New York’s first major event is scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 14, at the Lyons Wier Gallery on Seventh Avenue at 20th Street in Manhattan
  • Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio will be presenting Gaia and the New Politics of Love: Notes for a Poly Planet at Seattle’s Sharma Center Nov 21 and 22. Email RSVP@sharmacenter.org to RSVP. Facebook page here.

Topic: Success and Divorce
Prompted by Steve Pavlina’s public announcement of divorce, we discuss how the public can easily blame a divorce decision on poly explorations

A gleeful blogger criticizes Pavlina
Pavlina’s sensitive and thoughtful explanation of his family’s separation
Pavlina’s coming out post
Three more posts on polyamory

Happy Poly Moment
Greyson’s supportive coming out story

Feedback
Poly Weekly 215: Christianity & sexual ethics
Steve Eley found the approach refreshing

Poly Weekly 216: Is polygamy feminist?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly #207: The death of the two-parent family

This week’s Poly Weekly #207: The death of the two-parent American family (and we care because… ?).

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Topic:The death of the two-parent American family
The Time article
Psychology Today’s corrections

Miss Poly Manners: who gets the friends after a breakup?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

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