Poly Weekly 243: Time for Poly Camp!

Quintus shares tales from the front of poly organizing and the secrets of what Poly Camp is really like

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

  • Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
  • PolyCamp 2010 is August 26-29 Millersylvania state park with classes for people new to poly and discussion groups for those of us who have been around awhile, artistic workshops/classes, spiritual workshops, tribal interests (drumming and belly dancing), music and dancing, and more!
  • Poly Family Weekend is Sept. 17-19 at the Atlanta Airport Crowne Plaza with guests Jessica Karels, Simon Deacon and yours truly!
  • Shine, a Burlesque Musical is in Seattle, July 8-18 at the Theater off Jackson. Not only is this a sex-positive musical, it is a poly-positive musical. From some of the promo materials: “Count on the Wet Spots to twist the old love triangle story arc into some beautiful new poly-friendly configurations. Sort of like a macrame wall hanging. Made of sex!” Follow them on Twitter and join the Facebook page.

Interview: Quintus demystifies Poly Camp
Quintus (who by the way is quite hot) joined us to talk about what Poly Camp will be like in August and also about his own poly family

Feedback

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Lessons learned at ShibariCon

This year, ShibariCon was a fantastically exhausting experience! I almost didn’t go–too much work to do, and too many mundane tasks relating to some real estate I still own in the area. Grudgingly, I admitted that OK, I’ve committed to volunteer; of course I’ll go. But I won’t have fun.

And when I arrived, something changed. All the alienation I’d been feeling due to Seattle’s famous chilly reception melted away. It melted in the warm hugs of friends I was genuinely happy to see and who were genuinely happy to see me. For the first time in over a year, I felt like I belonged in the scene. Doubts, fears and insecurities melted away in the face of catching up with old friends and making new ones. I became the classic Minx, happy, bouncy and ready to have some fun.

I don’t want to be all cheesy and tell you not to be afraid of going to a conference alone. It still sucks to do that, and it’s still hard to try to connect with people in a weekend setting when you’re flying solo. You’ll still get turned down or blown off for scenes; I know I did and was. But my experience ended up being so deliciously positive that I want to share that joy, just in case it might inspire bravery the next time you fly solo at an event.

Stuff I Learned at ShibariCon 2010

  • I do belong here. The only one thinking otherwise was me.
  • When I am my own best self, wonderful things happen. And when I feel at home and welcomed, I am my own best self. Self-doubt is what kills the confidence, and without confidence, nothing is fun.
  • Scheduling at a con is hard/tricky. Cut yourself and your play partners some slack.
  • Don’t take it personally. Instead, find a way to take care of yourself that involves sharing your pain (and joy) with others.
  • Hide your crazy. But let little bits show in fits of controlled vulnerability. A controlled burn, if you will. :-)
  • Never compare yourself to others in any way. Instead, focus on what is making today awesome for you. If you close your eyes and feel a lack of awesome, put your finger on why, and then go ask for that.
  • Geek negotiation tip: if you’re unsure of where to start but you know you want to play, instead of asking a person for a scene or play, ask trusted friends whom they would recommend for play who might be free tonight.
  • Give your cell phone # to hot guys/girls so they can text you. (Outside the con space, of course)
  • Love yourself. Love your kink. Be fascinated by others’ kink.

All of this has me thinking about teaching a ShibariCon for Newbies/Solos class next year, with specific activities designed to help people check their emotional baggage at the door and have the confidence to have fun. Wouldn’t that be a GREAT way to start a con?

Sex 2.0: The new sex educators

Ducky DoolittleNotes from Ducky Dolittle’s session at Sex 2.0:

  • Ducky started doing peep shows on 42nd Street and spent a lot of time being ashamed of her work. Then she met Annie Sprinkle and decided to become an educator. Got her GED and set out to create an army of sex educators to invade the world.
  • Ducky talks money: sex educators need to talk to each other to compare notes on what and how they were paid for certain gigs and share notes about the most reliable clients
  • It’s on sex educators to create a standard that others can look up to: we need accreditation
  • The trials of choosing a sponsor–we need to get paid for our speaking (and no one makes money from a book) but we don’t always get to choose each toy that the sponsors promote. What do you think of Sue Johanson or Dr. Ruth? The point: have a critical eye to content and talk to other educators.
  • Dr. Ruth still maintains a private practice three days a week–very few can make a full-time salary as a sex educator
  • “The number one way we learn anything in life is through gossip.” We all have the ability to be great sex educators if we take the time to listen to others.
  • Who is your favorite sex educator and why? Answering these questions will help guide your path as a sex educator. Who came up in the session as fave educators: Heather Corinna, Betty Dodson, Dan Savage

Poly Living Conference coming to Seattle October 2010

From Loving More:

This October Loving More is thrilled to announce for the first time Loving More® will holding a
major polyamory relationship conference in SEATTLE WASHINGTON! Loving More is excited to bring this wonderful conference to an equally wonderful part of the country.

The PolyLiving Conference features a range of informative workshops from basic to advanced and from intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.

Poly Living, orginally founded by the late George Marvil, is a place to learn relationship skills that support healthy polyamorous realationships.

  • Friday night Keynote,Concert and Reception
  • Saturday to Sunday- 18 Amazing workshops by nationally known polyamory facilitators
  • Saturday Luncheon

Click here for pricing and details

Featuring in Concert Friday Night Bone Poets Orchestra
Bone Poets Orchestra (formally known as Gaia Consort) will be preforming in concert Friday following the keynote. Psychedelic Steampunk in the tradition of Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd and other hallucinogenic masters.

Sex 2.0: Seattle, May 22-23

SEATTLE – Sex 2.0 celebrates its third year May 22-23, 2010, in Seattle, Washington, at the Quality Inn. For the first time, the conference is heading to the West Coast and expanding across an entire weekend, attracting local and national influencers, entrepreneurs and enthusiasts who are defining the future of sex and technology.

Sex 2.0 focuses on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality. How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, are addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex positive space.

Topics this year include building your sex positive presence online, using the internet to connect with people as a sex coach or educator, participatory community organizing for social and sexual freedom, the new sex educators, and more. There will be panels on new media, distance sex work, and using the internet to improve the sex industry.

Featuring certified sexologist and author of Sex Secrets of Escorts: Tips From a Pro, Veronica Monet, as the keynote speaker and a discussion leader. Other session leaders include educator, writer, and founder of Cuddle Parties, Reid Mihalko; executive director of the Center and Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, Allena Gabosch; world-premiere rope bondage podcaster, author and activist Graydancer; president of Love U Parties, author, sex educator and activist, Ducky Doolittle; author, high priestess, and founder of Temple of the Red Lotus, Inara de Luna; sex advice podcaster Dr. Dick (Richard Wagner), Ph.D., ACS; and many more.

The conference welcomes all sex positive individuals 18+, the GLBTQ, poly, kinky, sex workers, podcasters, eroticists, activists and more. At Sex 2.0, everyone is a participant, rather than a passive attendee, joining conversations rather than listening to presentations. Respecting the confidentiality and protecting the identities of participants who wish to maintain a degree of anonymity is a top priority at Sex 2.0.

Profits will go to the Northwest chapter of the Sex Workers Outreach Project, which is dedicated to the fundamental human rights of sex workers and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy, and to the event producer, the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture.

Advance registration is mandatory, given the relatively sensitive nature of this event. Registration is open and tickets are $50 until May 19 or tickets sell out.

The conference is being held at the Quality Inn at 618 John St., in the heart of Seattle beside the famous Space Needle and Seattle Center. It officially runs from 9 a.m. Saturday to 4 p.m. Sunday, with parties on Friday and Sunday.

Learn more about the event and register at www.sex20con.com.

Sex 2.0 is being produced and sponsored by Seattle’s Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that promotes the many ways sex is beneficial through education, outreach, the arts, advocacy, and research programs that serve the public.

Polyamory 201 with Tristan Taormino

Went to a fantastic session last night with my awesome friend Yvonne. Babeland in Seattle was hosting the ever-articulate Tristan Taormino and her Poly 201 session on poly relationships and what makes or breaks them. My notes from the session:

  • Key to dealing with NRE: patience, compassion, communication.
  • Key to dealing with poly time management: organization, Google calendar, negotiation skills.
  • It’s not just “you’ve got Tuesday nights;” time carries with it a tremendous emotional charge.
  • Key to dealing with poly micommunication: honesty, self-awareness, and (surprise, surprise) COMMUNICATION.
  • Disclose, disclose, disclose! You might not think it’s a big deal that your new girlfriend is a stripper, but your husband might.
  • Keys to addressing poly agreement violation: make explicit agreement with a checklist. Make a “gray area” rule.
  • Jealousy as a behavior is modeled and rewarded in our society. Too many pop culture songs, movies and TV shows make reference to someone “really” loving a partner if he/she gets jealous.
  • So let’s unpack jealousy: envy, posessiveness, competitiveness, feeling excluded, insecurity.
  • Re jealousy: when you think “someone is smarter than me,” you really mean “I am not smart enough”
  • Solution to jealousy: face your fear. Take it out to dinner. See it for what it is.
  • Harness NRE for good and not evil, knowing it will come back to your existing relationship. When your partner comes home all hopped up on endorphins, jump him!–Selfish person’s guide to NRE

Poly Weekly #227: Black Box Republic

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Interview: Sam and April of Black Box Republic

Sam Lawrence and April talk about the inspiration for hip new sex-positive dating site Black Box Republic, how it came to be, and who should join and why.

****SPECIAL OFFER FOR PW LISTENERS: Use code radiobbr for 30 days FREE!****

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly 226: How to choose a partner

Poly Weekly #226: How to choose a poly partner direct download

Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Co hosts

Joreth
Pepper
Franklin

Announcements

Jade Gate Studio in Portland, OR is hosting a Year of the White Tiger erotic art show and after party, 6:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 13th, FetLife event announcement

Topic: How do you choose a poly partner?

Joreth, Pepper, Franklin and Minx discuss the two aspects of this question: how do you find, meet and get to know partners, and how do you vet them? Joe, Brendan, Polina and Jessica commented via Facebook that they simply run into people in everyday life, often when they are not looking, and get to know people that they like and who treat them well.

Jeff asks for feedback via Facebook on a situation in which he made first physical contact (holding hands) with a new partner in his current partner’s presence, which led to a fight.

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly #225: Modern Poly Fundraiser

This week’s Poly Weekly #225: Modern Poly fundraiser

Download the mp3 directly!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

Announcements

  • Charlotte, NC has a new poly RPG meetup group: Mac’s Speed Shop January 17th 5:00 p.m.
  • Jade Gate Studio in Portland, OR is hosting a Year of the White Tiger erotic art show and after party, 6:00 p.m.-2:00 a.m., Saturday, Feb. 13th, FetLife event announcement
  • Interview: Modern Poly
    A chat with Mai Li, the PR branch of the new Modern Poly website, a place for poly activists, organizers and general poly folks seeking education to gather.

    Feedback
    Poly Weekly 222, Metamours, Change and Insecurity
    Cheyenne on taking time away from the primary relationship

    Wrap-up
    Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

    Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

    Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”

Poly Weekly book club meets WEDNESDAY, MAY 6th

Ready for the next book club, sure to be fun? This one is a bit different–go see the new play here in Chicago, All My Love, and we’ll discuss next month!

When: Wednesday, May 6th 6:00-9:00 p.m.
Where: Lido’s Caffe, 122 N Marion St, Oak Park, IL 60303, (708) 660-0060, one block from the Harlem Green line stop; meters and lot parking available
What: All My Love, playing at the Theater Building
Who: anyone who is poly or poly-curious, whether you’ve read the book or not. Or who just likes great gelato!

Come on out and join us; we always have a great time!

NOTE: If there is interest in continuing the club after I leave the state in June, let’s please talk.

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