Should we support this poly family in trouble?

Screen Shot 2015-06-11 at 3.40.07 PMMany of you have forwarded this IndieGoGo campaign regarding this poly group’s rather lengthy, rambling and emotional plight. They are a poly family fighting a legal battle to keep their children, some of which have already been removed from their home.

The group and their claims have been vetted by some folks of the Poly Leadership Network. Long and short of it: these  are real people, the factual claims and court cases are documented, and the amount of legal fees they claim to have spent already is reasonable considering the circumstances. They have been encouraged to contact National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) to help with their case.

Additionally, you should be aware that this family is one male in his 30s, with all female partners quite young, in their 20s. There are no other male partners. They have 10 children and two more on the way. (Some of the children are by the man’s ex-wife.) They also have an extensive collection of firearms, which is legal in Texas, but which some might find troubling. And they do not appear to be active in any local poly communities.

Due to the people’s lack of ability to communicate their position clearly and concisely and their lack of a clear legal strategy apart from “throw money at it,” I’d recommend donating to NCSF rather than to this family directly. If the NCSF takes their case, it will be with a defined legal strategy designed for maximum effectiveness, and you can be assured your dollars will go to that end.

PW 416: Growing up poly, the bad


Parentes_ama_familiam_cura
Three adults who grew up in polyamorous households speak out on their negative experiences of growing up poly

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This is part two of a two-part series on the real experiences of growing up in a poly household. To hear the panel speak on their positive experiences of growing up in a polyamorous household, visit Episode 415: Growing up poly, the good

1:15 Announcements

infinitycon logo

I’ll be teaching 8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory and MORE at InfinityCon in Atlanta over Valentine’s Day weekend! And LustyGuy will be with me, moderating the poly/swinging panel and teaching rough body play techniques. Fun!

For ticket, hotel and scheduling info, visit www.infinitycon.net

2:30 Poly in the News

Alan has listed the top 22 national poly events in 2015. PLUS instructions on how to search for and find your local meetup group. No excuses for not finding your community!

3:35 Topic: Growing up poly, the bad

After last week’s panel on the positive effects of growing up in a poly household, Join Koe, Susie and Tiana as they share some of the negative effects it had on their upbringing, including being too trusting and open in the world.

24:40 Feedback

Haddyr insists that yes, teens and 20-somethings do in fact use “heteronormative” all the time!

25:55 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 415: Growing up poly, the good

funny-pictures-cats-teach-baby-to-drink-waterThree adults who grew up in polyamorous households speak out on their experiences of growing up poly

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1:00 Poly in the News

6:00 Topic: Growing up poly, the good

Join Koe, Susie and Tiana as they share what their poly households were like as they were growing up, how much they knew about their parents’ partners and the positive effects it had on their upbringing.

31:00 Happy Poly Moment

Renée shares a holiday HPM in which she and her two partners host the holiday meal for their families and friends!

33:30 Thank you!

Welcome Oliver to the Poly Weekly Playmates and thanks to K in Germany for the donation!

34:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 411: Poly for the holidays

lolcat1How to handle your bio family during the holidays, with advice from FBI hostage negotiators

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

10:15 Topic: Poly for the holidays

How do you handle the family during the holidays when you’re poly? A few tips:

19:30 Happy Poly Moment

Julia shares her story of falling for a gal and then a guy and choosing to be honest about what she wanted instead of dumping one for the other. And it turned out great!

22:00 Thanks

Thanks to Taylor and Igor for their donations and welcome Doug as the newest Poly Weekly Playmate!

23:00 Wrap Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 383: Poly for Valentine’s Day

valentines day lolcatHow do you celebrate Valentine’s Day as a “secondary”?

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

13:45 Topic: Poly for Valentine’s Day

A from New Orleans wrote in to ask about how to celebrate this sexy and very couples-oriented holiday when you are in a poly relationship. Who gets the chocolate and flowers and who gets the shaft? How does a “secondary” celebrate this sexy holiday without feeling crappy!

Check out the solo poly blog

Check out these previous Poly for the Holidays segments; the same rules apply to sexy holidays as to family holidays:

Also, keep these basic guidelines in place:

  • Ask you partners for what they want: what makes a great Valentine’s Day for you? OK? Bare minimum?
  • Say what you want.
  • Coordinate with your partners to make sure everyone gets pretty close to what he/she wants.

21:30 Feedback

  • J wrote in that Episode 379 Owning your own shit was a good refresher course
  • Doug wrote in to say that episode 380 reminded him that all relationships—including with friends and exes, require nurturing and attention

24:20 Happy Poly Moment

J wrote in to share a great HPM of a partner offering to host a metamour in order to give J time alone!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 375: Minx’s big announcement

 

Our handfasting ceremony journal and ribbons

Our handfasting ceremony journal and ribbons

Minx and LustyGuy share a personal announcement

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1:00 Host chat

Welcome our sponsor, GetSTDTested. Use code polyweekly to save 10% at checkout!

4:30 Topic: Minx’s big announcement

Minx, LustyGuy and L are headed to Costa Rica for their commitment ceremony, with L officiating. Minx and LustyGuy share stories of how it came about and some of the mononormative pitfalls they ran across.

22:45 Happy Poly Moment

Kev shares stories of poly meetup groups in Sweden for fikas as well as a poly pub crawl, something we should implement in Seattle! Swedish Poly Organization

26:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 359: Being poly, out and pregnant

How do you handle coming out when your pregnancy forces the poly issue?

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1:00 Announcements

13:20 Topic: Pregnant, poly and being judged

A pregnant listener with two boyfriends asks how to avoid being judged when coming out about the nature of her relationship. Advice:

  • When people judge, it’s a commentary on their own experiences, not yours. Surprisingly, it’s rarely about you; it’s about them! Listen and express sympathy and compassion for any unpleasant incidents they reveal to you.
  • Use humor whenever possible.
  • Be careful legally and explore the ramifications.

23:15 Feedback

  • Kei gave feedback on episode 357 regarding dealing with differing levels of sexual drive in relationships.
  • Olaf wrote in to comment that any new web series on polyamory would help with exposure.
  • It’s the first of May! Outdoor fucking starts today!

29:00 Thank you

Thanks to Keith and Kristin for their generous donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 345: Poly for the holidays

How do you handle poly partners around the family?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • LustyGuy cohosts
  • Poly Prom in Richmond, VA, Saturday, March 9, 7:00 PM at the gay community center of Richmond Hall Info on FetLife

3:00 Topic: Poly for the holidays

How LustyGuy, L and Minx handled being out and in for holiday family visits. Tips: ask each person what he/she needs to feel happy and loved for the holiday and make sure each person gets those things. Take care of yourself first.

12:20 Happy Poly Moments

  • Lila shares a happy moment of coming out in defense of polyamory and bisexuality in her LGBTQ studies class. Great courage!
  • Hera shares her first poly experience

15:30 Feedback

  • Scott on the Swingset mashup episode argues that drama isn’t inherent in poly relationships, although LustyGuy points out that drama is common in first-time relationships, and first-time poly would fit the bill
  • Quick plug for Pedestrian Polyamory podcast if you’re not into kink or geekiness
  • Joreth called in to recommend hosting a poly movie night; her list of poly-themed movies is here
  • K shares his light bulb moment on the episode with Aggie on treating non-primaries well LustyGuy comments that change in a relationship should be welcomed and embraced because growth is essential for healthy relationships.

26:30 Thank you

Thanks to Joan, Ariane and Sean for joining the PW Playmates!

Outro

Our holiday outro music is Heat Miser by the Locals

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 328: My three dads

A proposed California law that would allow a child to have three legal parents. Also, movie review of Savages.

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:30 News and host chat

Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation here, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 30, we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012! Void where prohibited.

3:00 Topic: My Three Dads

California considers a law that would allow more than two parents for a child.

10:30 Movie review: Savages

Joreth provides a review of this poly movie. Alan at Poly in the Media’s report on the aggregated reviews: Savages, the Movie and Its Star Triad

Feedback

Vicky writes in to let us know that “vagina” is the proper medical term, but “vulva” is often used to refer to the external female genitalia, including the labia.

24:45 Thanks

Thanks to Marshall and Ioana for the donations this week. Woo hoo!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 324: Poly parenting with Sierra Black

How does one wrangle being polyamorous and parenting at the same time? Sierra Black tells us!

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

12:00 Topic: Poly families with Sierra Black

Sierra Black’s Salon article on her open marriage and the getting back together

a.blogspot.com/2012/04/on-abcs-2020-polyfamily-network-shows.html”>20/20 episode on polyamory and parenting.

Parenting questions she is asked:

  • How do you find the time to be poly with a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old and an 18-year-old? Answer: this isn’t a one-way street; everyone pitches in so others can have date time.
  • What do you tell the kids? Answer: Be open about who everyone is with age-appropriate information.
  • What do you do when relationships end? Answer: deal with them just as you would with step-parents and keep them in the kids’ lives whenever possible.
  • What advice do you have about coming out to older kids? Answer: we’re lucky because everyone in the community is open and poly and the kids have a support network.
  • How are you out to the other adults in your kids’ life? School administrators, grandparents, doctors? Answer: anything you radiate normal, healthy vibes about, people will take in stride. Be comfortable, confident and open, and it’s easy to be out.

Conclusion: kids are very What’s In It for Me? They want to know that they are loved and that mommy, daddy and everyone else loves and cares about them, too.

Sierra blogs at ChildWild.com and writes for Babble.

38:00 Thanks

Thanks to Mike for the $69 donation!

39:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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