By Cunning Minx, on July 11th, 2011%
 Raven Kaldera answers your questions about being poly in a D/s relationship
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
2:20 Raven Kaldera answers your poly BDSM questions!
Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.
- 3:00 QuotidianLight: How to structure a relationship where a fem sub has her own fem sub. “Do I ask your daddy?” Who is in charge of whom?
- 6:55 Nellodee: How to make a long-distance, poly D/s relationship work?
- 10:45 DocErotiq: How to handle being a sub to your primary but Dom to everyone else. They have an owned and collared sub, and he bottoms to her. Also, how to be a Dom as a parent who is a switch and subs to Mom.
- 16:10 AdeleLoves: How can a couple where one person is into D/s and the other isn’t make it work?
23:15 Feedback
- Regarding Am I jealous? Episode 277 comments on religious tolerance – a bit of a rant proclaiming no religious tolerance until the religion tolerates different orientations
- Josh on episode 221 on the This American Life episode on infidelity
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
By Cunning Minx, on July 4th, 2011%
 Raven Kaldera talks about polyamory in a power dynamice–and targets common misakes
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:40 Interview: Raven Kaldera on Polyamory and BDSM
Raven Kaldera, author of Polyamory and Power Circuits, shares some wisdom on polyamory in the world of BDSM and power dynamics.
- Why do we need a poly book exclusively about power dynamics and D/s?
- Why we should not take lessons from porn
- The power of months of negotiation
- Common myth: the BBM (Big Bad Master) has to make all the relationship decisions and simply instruct his slaves how to behave
- Best advice: force your slaves to talk to each other to deal with conflict
- Jealousy with owned slave versus part-time sub
- Dealing with egalitarian partners; addressing Shiny New Lover syndrome with a current/egalitarian partner
32:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
By Cunning Minx, on May 30th, 2011%
Slides from my intro to congoing and con conversation class at ShibariCon. Thanks to everyone who participated!
By Cunning Minx, on May 23rd, 2011%
 Listener W writes in to ask: am I jealous, or is this situation unfair?
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction and host chat
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
1:20 Topic: Am I jealous?
Wendy writes in to ask advice from the cohost team: am I jealous? She gets a certain number of hours a week with her top, and compares that to the number of hours his wife enjoys with him. She relays anecdotes of her top engaging in sex with another bottom, which was beyond the scope of their agreement, and with his wife, which was beyond her expectations. She relays a situation in which she watched the children for his and his wife’s anniversary trip, but her own collaring anniversary went unnoticed.
Is she jealous and how should she cope? Cohosts Joreth, Pepper and Franklin share insights and give advice, including making a list of the things she needs to feel secure in a relationship and how she would like for commitment to be shown.
20:40 Announcements
Poly in Pictures blog on jealousy – for a little jealousy humor
21:40 Feedback
- Musqrat comments on the Sister Wives commentary from episode 266, comparing to a sort of institutionalized D/s situation
- A caller who believes in religious polygyny makes a call for tolerance
- DDog calls in to appreciate the term “anchors” from episode 260
35:40 Thanks to Earl and John for their donations
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
By Cunning Minx, on March 14th, 2011%
 I love my email inbox some days! I just got an email from a kinkster considering attending his first ShibariCon. He asked me to convince him to come. Since this is one of my favorite cons that I’ve attended nearly every year since its inception, I’m happy to oblige. Wondering if it’s worth the trip? If you have any interest in kink, rope or shibari, it is!
Top 10 Reasons You Should Go to ShibariCon 2011:
- Chicago in May? Lovely!
- Bonus: trip to IML leather market, $2, for the best variety and best prices on leather gear all year.
- Got a costuming fetish? Dress up every day and night if you like!
- Midori. ‘Nuff said.
- Graydancer’s cabaret. Even if your whole day sucked, this will have you cheering.
- Rope twister!
- Hard points, hard points, hard points!
- Sadistic rope tops and hot submissive ass.
- Mollena’s Mojo. Every session she gives fills your brain and makes you laugh.
- You know you’ll regret it if you don’t!
By Cunning Minx, on March 4th, 2011%
At the Canadian border on the way to the Vancouver GRUE, our bus stopped for customs. The agent asked the typical questions, including where I was going and why I was going there.
Me: For a conference. Or actually, an unconference.
Agent: An unconference? What is that?
Me: The attendees determine and create all the content.
Agent: What’s it about?
Me: Rope bondage.
Agent: I don’t know what that is.
Me: [shrug]
Agent: Business or personal?
Me: Personal.
Agent: And what is your business?
Not a blink, not a pause. Sometimes, telling the truth is easy and won’t lead anyone to batting an eye. ROFL!
By Cunning Minx, on November 16th, 2010%
 Princess Kali of The Kink Academy talks about the intersection of kink and poly online
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.
Announcements
Miss Poly Manners: Dealing with Party Invites
How do you deal with party invitations not addressed to the entire poly enclave?
Interview: Princess Kali of The Kink Academy
Teaser
- From Poly and Single: what to do when the couple is fighting
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email?  Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com
Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
By Cunning Minx, on June 4th, 2010%
This year, ShibariCon was a fantastically exhausting experience! I almost didn’t go–too much work to do, and too many mundane tasks relating to some real estate I still own in the area. Grudgingly, I admitted that OK, I’ve committed to volunteer; of course I’ll go. But I won’t have fun.
And when I arrived, something changed. All the alienation I’d been feeling due to Seattle’s famous chilly reception melted away. It melted in the warm hugs of friends I was genuinely happy to see and who were genuinely happy to see me. For the first time in over a year, I felt like I belonged in the scene. Doubts, fears and insecurities melted away in the face of catching up with old friends and making new ones. I became the classic Minx, happy, bouncy and ready to have some fun.
I don’t want to be all cheesy and tell you not to be afraid of going to a conference alone. It still sucks to do that, and it’s still hard to try to connect with people in a weekend setting when you’re flying solo. You’ll still get turned down or blown off for scenes; I know I did and was. But my experience ended up being so deliciously positive that I want to share that joy, just in case it might inspire bravery the next time you fly solo at an event.
Stuff I Learned at ShibariCon 2010
- I do belong here. The only one thinking otherwise was me.
- When I am my own best self, wonderful things happen. And when I feel at home and welcomed, I am my own best self. Self-doubt is what kills the confidence, and without confidence, nothing is fun.
- Scheduling at a con is hard/tricky. Cut yourself and your play partners some slack.
- Don’t take it personally. Instead, find a way to take care of yourself that involves sharing your pain (and joy) with others.
- Hide your crazy. But let little bits show in fits of controlled vulnerability. A controlled burn, if you will.
- Never compare yourself to others in any way. Instead, focus on what is making today awesome for you. If you close your eyes and feel a lack of awesome, put your finger on why, and then go ask for that.
- Geek negotiation tip: if you’re unsure of where to start but you know you want to play, instead of asking a person for a scene or play, ask trusted friends whom they would recommend for play who might be free tonight.
- Give your cell phone # to hot guys/girls so they can text you. (Outside the con space, of course)
-
Love yourself. Love your kink. Be fascinated by others’ kink.
All of this has me thinking about teaching a ShibariCon for Newbies/Solos class next year, with specific activities designed to help people check their emotional baggage at the door and have the confidence to have fun. Wouldn’t that be a GREAT way to start a con?
By Cunning Minx, on February 26th, 2010%
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.
Cohosts
Franklin Veaux
Pepper Mint
Announcements
Topic: how do poly and kink mix?
Sarah wrote in to ask how the egalitarian poly aspect mixes with more ostensibly hierarchical BDSM and its focus on power exchange. Such a nice, juicy topic!
Feedback
Annie shares definitions of polyamory, philosophically poly and practicing polyamorous; Mus Q Rat writes in to correct origin story of “polyamory” (vs. “polyamorous”); Arioch compliments episode 226 on finding a partner
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com
Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
By Cunning Minx, on February 10th, 2010%
Download the mp3 directly
Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.
NOTE! This episode’s bonus content
For Poly Weekly iPhone app users: bonus audio content is for the poly and single daters in the crowd, especially the introverts: dating #Mojo points and how and why they work
Interview: Mark Yu
Mark Yu is a Kinbaku / Nawa Shibari artist/educator, bamboo artist and Feng Shui design consultant. His bondage and art draw from his lifetime study of Oriental medicine and twenty years of clinical experience treating muscle pain and bio-mechanical dysfunction.
Mark has taught bondage, healing arts and energetic play techniques publicly and privately for several years, to include standing-room only workshops at Shibaricon and two very popular workshops in Seattle in 2005.
He is a devotee of Taoist Oriental Medicine and Zen and a pioneer and advocate of progressive alternative energetic and bio-mechanically based body disciplines.
Mark is also the Grand Poobah of The Jade Gate Studio and Gallery recently relocated to Portland and maintains a blog with insights on Shibari, erotic art and writing, rope and BDSM issues at JadeGate.blogspot.com
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com
Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
|
|
|
Popular Episodes