How to welcome that awesome non-primary into your couple and keep the relationship healthy and the non-primary happy and respected
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Want to support marriage equality? Try wearing your wedding ring on your right hand and post a picture with the hashtag #choosetheright. More info at choosetheright.org
4:00 Topic: How to treat non-primaries well
Aggie of the SoloPoly blog crowdsourced an article. She asked non-primary partners what they considered to be kind and considerate treatment by their partners, usually people in a couple. The results were informative and include a long list of do’s and a short list of don’ts—see all the info on this living document of How to Treat Non-Primaries Well.
She will be speaking on couple privilege at Poly Living and is looking for feedback and input on couple privilege through the above link
40:00 Happy Poly Moment
Roue shares a happy poly moment about a partner coming home.
42:00 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Can you maintain a relationship while changing the cohabitation situation?
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Psychology Today reporting on a University of Michigan study that showed that people perceive nonmonogamists to have more negative traits, including paying taxes late and flossing, as well as being more sexually risky. A previous study showed that consensual nonmonogamists practice less risky sexual behavior and are more likely to get tested and use condoms.
A new site for HSV and HPV positives, Love H Style
Vicky writes in to ask how to maintain a relationship when the living situation isn’t working out. Can primaries move out and still keep up a healthy relationship?
20:00 Listener Feedback
Darcy in Australia writes in about Senator Bernarni, who equates same sex marriage with plural marriage and then, of course, bestiality. Daily Telegraph reference here.
Vir writes in on episode 333 making the argument that the phrase “legitimate rape” is intended to support a specific world view, citing a New York Times article on the odd roots of misbeliefs such as lack of orgasm preventing pregnancy.
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
How does one wrangle being polyamorous and parenting at the same time? Sierra Black tells us!
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a.blogspot.com/2012/04/on-abcs-2020-polyfamily-network-shows.html”>20/20 episode on polyamory and parenting.
Parenting questions she is asked:
How do you find the time to be poly with a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old and an 18-year-old? Answer: this isn’t a one-way street; everyone pitches in so others can have date time.
What do you tell the kids? Answer: Be open about who everyone is with age-appropriate information.
What do you do when relationships end? Answer: deal with them just as you would with step-parents and keep them in the kids’ lives whenever possible.
What advice do you have about coming out to older kids? Answer: we’re lucky because everyone in the community is open and poly and the kids have a support network.
How are you out to the other adults in your kids’ life? School administrators, grandparents, doctors? Answer: anything you radiate normal, healthy vibes about, people will take in stride. Be comfortable, confident and open, and it’s easy to be out.
Conclusion: kids are very What’s In It for Me? They want to know that they are loved and that mommy, daddy and everyone else loves and cares about them, too.
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Being poly in America February 2012–how did the world treat nonmonogamy this Valentine’s Day?
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Musqurat calls in to correct my assertion that the word “polyamory” was coined by Morning Glory Zell. In fact, she used the word “polyamorous;” the word “polyamory” was first used by Jennifer Wesp in the Usenet group in 1992.
Fred writes in to share that he found his identity as a monoamorist who likes occasional play with others.
25:10 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Listeners call in to share why they are poly, what they have learned and tell a poly joke and limerick or two
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Paul with what he learned about poly in 2011—it works if everyone is adult and communicates
23:55 Thanks
Thanks to H for his generous, $300 donation!
24:55 Wrapup
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Advice on the ins and outs of being poly around friends and relatives during the holidays
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Sometimes it’s tough to be poly over the holidays. Which relatives are you out to? Can you introduce your lover to your auntie May? How do you schedule family time? Listeners wrote in via Facebook and Twitter to ask the toughest holiday-related poly issues, and cohosts Joreth and Puck help Minx to sort them out:
How to introduce non-spouses
How to prevent your poly-aware daughter from letting closeted poly relationships slip in front of the “in-laws”
Is being closeted OK to certain relatives?
How do you handle feeling secondary and isolated?
How do you manage economic disparities?
How do you deal with missing some and disappointing others?
37:30 Book reviews
Kurt shares book reviews of popular romance stories with contemporary, realistic settings: Jet Lag Blues and Kindle ebook Songbird.
43:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.comOur intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
From listener Amy: how do you deal with being a secondary when you long for primary benefits?
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Kurt reviews poly themes and relationships in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series
Advice from the crew: what if you’re secondary but don’t want to be?
What if you long to be a live-in primary, but metamours or partners are putting on the brakes? Cohosts Franklin Veaux, Joreth and Pepper give advice to listener Amy.
Thank you
Frances, Paul and Tofa for donations! You rock my world and help cover bandwidth and travel expenses.
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.comOur intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.
Ready to be a representative and spokesperson for polyamory to the press? Check out the Poly Media Association first for tips and training on dealing with the media and representing well.
Interview: Steve Pavlina
A talk with Steve Pavlina, personal growth guru, on his poly explorations, his coming out as poly on his blog, his pending divorce and the public reaction to it all
Happy Poly Moment
From Malx–taking care of a partner on a business trip
Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com
Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
As I read the article, their obstacles don’t seem all that insurmountable–different tastes in decorating styles, music, noise level, cleanliness. Frankly, it sounds to me like the types of differences couples and triads and quads have dealt with for ages.
But I think I missed the point on the first read. Remember what we’ve been talking about lately on Poly Weekly about construction our relationships and civil and emotional unions deliberately? That’s exactly what this couple did–sure, they probably could have smoothed out all the wrinkled and lived together, but why? Because everyone else does? Because it’s expected? Because that’s what married people do–share bathrooms and toothbrushes and complain about leaving the toilet seat up or down?
Good for them. Good for them for looking at marriage and a living arrangement as a choice rather than a given and actually deciding what works for them.
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