PW 343: The care and feeding of non-primaries

How to welcome that awesome non-primary into your couple and keep the relationship healthy and the non-primary happy and respected

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Want to support marriage equality? Try wearing your wedding ring on your right hand and post a picture with the hashtag #choosetheright. More info at choosetheright.org

4:00 Topic: How to treat non-primaries well

Aggie of the SoloPoly blog crowdsourced an article. She asked non-primary partners what they considered to be kind and considerate treatment by their partners, usually people in a couple. The results were informative and include a long list of do's and a short list of don'ts—see all the info on this living document of How to Treat Non-Primaries Well.

40:00 Happy Poly Moment

Roue shares a happy poly moment about a partner coming home.

42:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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PW 336: Moving out without moving on

Can you maintain a relationship while changing the cohabitation situation?

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2:00 News and host chat

  • LustyGuy cohosts
  • Psychology Today reporting on a University of Michigan study that showed that people perceive nonmonogamists to have more negative traits, including paying taxes late and flossing, as well as being more sexually risky. A previous study showed that consensual nonmonogamists practice less risky sexual behavior and are more likely to get tested and use condoms.
  • A new site for HSV and HPV positives, Love H Style
  • The Drama Reduction Act

12:00 Moving Out Without Moving On

Vicky writes in to ask how to maintain a relationship when the living situation isn’t working out. Can primaries move out and still keep up a healthy relationship?

20:00 Listener Feedback

Thanks

Thanks to Jeff and Aggie for their donations!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


PW 324: Poly parenting with Sierra Black

How does one wrangle being polyamorous and parenting at the same time? Sierra Black tells us!

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

12:00 Topic: Poly families with Sierra Black

Sierra Black’s Salon article on her open marriage and the getting back together

a.blogspot.com/2012/04/on-abcs-2020-polyfamily-network-shows.html”>20/20 episode on polyamory and parenting.

Parenting questions she is asked:

  • How do you find the time to be poly with a 4-year-old, a 7-year-old and an 18-year-old? Answer: this isn’t a one-way street; everyone pitches in so others can have date time.
  • What do you tell the kids? Answer: Be open about who everyone is with age-appropriate information.
  • What do you do when relationships end? Answer: deal with them just as you would with step-parents and keep them in the kids’ lives whenever possible.
  • What advice do you have about coming out to older kids? Answer: we’re lucky because everyone in the community is open and poly and the kids have a support network.
  • How are you out to the other adults in your kids’ life? School administrators, grandparents, doctors? Answer: anything you radiate normal, healthy vibes about, people will take in stride. Be comfortable, confident and open, and it’s easy to be out.

Conclusion: kids are very What’s In It for Me? They want to know that they are loved and that mommy, daddy and everyone else loves and cares about them, too.

Sierra blogs at ChildWild.com and writes for Babble.

38:00 Thanks

Thanks to Mike for the $69 donation!

39:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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PW 308: Poly in the Month of Love

Being poly in America February 2012–how did the world treat nonmonogamy this Valentine’s Day?

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 News and host chat

  • Thanks for your patience with the audio—think we’ve fixed it

4:20 Topic: Being poly in February 2012 for Valentine’s Day

Poly in the media and how love and relationships are being viewed for this year’s Valentine’s Day.

22:10 Feedback

  • Musqurat calls in to correct my assertion that the word “polyamory” was coined by Morning Glory Zell. In fact, she used the word “polyamorous;” the word “polyamory” was first used by Jennifer Wesp in the Usenet group in 1992.
  • Fred writes in to share that he found his identity as a monoamorist who likes occasional play with others.

25:10 Wrapup


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 300: Celebrating YOU the listeners

Listeners call in to share why they are poly, what they have learned and tell a poly joke and limerick or two

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

  • Reminiscing over how Poly Weekly got started in 2005; Amy Gahran was our first commenter
  • What I have learned: no one is ever alone
  • Shared pain is lessened and shared joy increased
  • Poly isn’t that weird

6:15 Topic: It’s all about you!

  • Happy poly moment
  • Alan from Poly in the Media
  • Amy Shiner, blogger for the Huffington Post: “If I weren’t poly, I would be asexual…”
  • Billy from Chicago answers “how many poly does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”

10:10 Topic: What are you thankful for?

  • Erica of St. Paul – to have found the woman within
  • Reid of Reidaboutsex.com – his partner Allison and cheap dental work in Mexico
  • Sarah – friends on her side

12:00 More contributions!

  • Emma with a happy poly story
  • Grace in VA with excellent advice: “If I want something, I need to work my ass off on me first”
  • Rob from Oz telling how poly saved his career
  • Dan Sawyer
  • Chris Bingham with a poly limerick
  • Vicky from London with words of advice
  • Paul with what he learned about poly in 2011—it works if everyone is adult and communicates

23:55 Thanks

Thanks to H for his generous, $300 donation!

24:55 Wrapup


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 297: Poly for the holidays

Advice on the ins and outs of being poly around friends and relatives during the holidays

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Topic: Poly for the holidays

Sometimes it’s tough to be poly over the holidays. Which relatives are you out to? Can you introduce your lover to your auntie May? How do you schedule family time? Listeners wrote in via Facebook and Twitter to ask the toughest holiday-related poly issues, and cohosts Joreth and Puck help Minx to sort them out:

  • How to introduce non-spouses
  • How to prevent your poly-aware daughter from letting closeted poly relationships slip in front of the “in-laws”
  • Is being closeted OK to certain relatives?
  • How do you handle feeling secondary and isolated?
  • How do you manage economic disparities?
  • How do you deal with missing some and disappointing others?

37:30 Book reviews

Kurt shares book reviews of popular romance stories with contemporary, realistic settings: Jet Lag Blues and Kindle ebook Songbird.

43:00 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 271: The secondary blues

The secondary blues

From listener Amy: how do you deal with being a secondary when you long for primary benefits?

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Book review: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

  • Kurt reviews poly themes and relationships in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series

Advice from the crew: what if you’re secondary but don’t want to be?

What if you long to be a live-in primary, but metamours or partners are putting on the brakes? Cohosts Franklin Veaux, Joreth and Pepper give advice to listener Amy.

Thank you

Frances, Paul and Tofa for donations! You rock my world and help cover bandwidth and travel expenses.

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Poly Weekly 237: Personal Growth with Steve Pavlina

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

  • Poly Weekly iPhone app with PDF show notes and audio extras is available now!
  • Sex 2.0 is May 22-23 in Seattle! Just $50 now and open to anyone sex-positive.
  • Open Love NY has its next meeting April 27. For upcoming events, check out their Facebook group.

  • PolyCharms.com has some lovely poly-friendly jewelry
  • Ready to be a representative and spokesperson for polyamory to the press? Check out the Poly Media Association first for tips and training on dealing with the media and representing well.

Interview: Steve Pavlina
A talk with Steve Pavlina, personal growth guru, on his poly explorations, his coming out as poly on his blog, his pending divorce and the public reaction to it all

Happy Poly Moment
From Malx–taking care of a partner on a business trip

Feedback
From Sean on Poly Weekly 233: What is sex?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Living apart together

This article on a couple who are married with kids but who have different homes a la Diego Rivera and Frieda Kahlo are a new statistic: the bands of couples who choose to “live apart together” for various reasons.

As I read the article, their obstacles don’t seem all that insurmountable–different tastes in decorating styles, music, noise level, cleanliness. Frankly, it sounds to me like the types of differences couples and triads and quads have dealt with for ages.

But I think I missed the point on the first read. Remember what we’ve been talking about lately on Poly Weekly about construction our relationships and civil and emotional unions deliberately? That’s exactly what this couple did–sure, they probably could have smoothed out all the wrinkled and lived together, but why? Because everyone else does? Because it’s expected? Because that’s what married people do–share bathrooms and toothbrushes and complain about leaving the toilet seat up or down?

Good for them. Good for them for looking at marriage and a living arrangement as a choice rather than a given and actually deciding what works for them.

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