Poly mythbusters!

mythbuster lolcatThe top five poly myths you wanted to see busted!

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Introduction Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

  • 1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

    5:30  Topic: Poly mythbusters

    • The original article that inspired this episode
    • My original list:
      • It’s all about the love
      • Only men want it
      • No one ever gets jealous
      • It’s more evolved than monogamy
      • But when I put it to you, the listeners, you voted in these top five myths:
    1. Poly = fear of commitment (aka “you’re just afraid to settle down” or “when you meet the Right One you’ll change”)
    2. 10:16 Poly = orgies (also general promiscuity and sex)
    3. Poly is bad and confusing for the children
    4. 16:04 Poly = cheating
    5. Poly doesn’t work or doesn’t last

    22:20 Feedback

    • Derek wrote in to share how he and his sweetie avoided a relationship land mind
    • Michael invites anyone interested in HSV and HPV groups on Facebook to send him a friend requests

    24:50 Thanks

    Welcom Savanni to the PW Playmates and to Doug for his $69 donation!

    25:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 374: Four mistakes couples make when opening up

 

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

Marcia Baczynski and Minx at CatalystCon West 2013

How to avoid the classic mistakes couples make when trying nonmonogamy

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1:00 Host chat

Nothing to see here; move along!

2:00 Interview: Four mistakes couples make when opening up with Marcia Baczynski

Thanks to Marcia for sharing with us these four tips! Where to find Marcia:

And here we go! The classic mistakes:

  1. Not knowing what you want. Poly may mean different things to different folks. Take the time to talk about what you want and direct the picture in your head; this also means you develop terminology for future discussions. It’s also useful to take stock of your current relationship.
  2. Going too fast. Many couples move way too fast, and a few move too slowly. Find your comfortable pace. This isn’t about restrictions; it’s about taking the time to enjoy experience, as with any romance. Enjoy the journey! Take the time to find your comfort zone rather than diving in headfirst.
  3. Avoiding jealousy. Don’t ignore the truth of negative emotions because you think it makes you a bad poly person. That only leads to uncomfortable situations. No one is too “good” to be jealous. Just admit and deal with your jealousy.
  4. Trying to be the perfect poly person. Feeling that you have to be perfect either for your partner or to prove that poly was a good choice for you are both self-destructive beliefs to hold. Nothing beats admitting your emotions. Practice some tough love on yourself! No one was perfect at poly the first (or even the last) time they tried it. Be willing to be vulnerable.

35:20 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 369: Getting over the poly hump

Franklin Veaux, Eve Rickert and Cunning Minx

How do you come to accept and embrace poly when it wasn’t your idea?

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1:00 Host chat with Minx, Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux

  • Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert are writing a book! Help fund their Indiegogo campaign to write it!
  • Check out the awesome new Beyond the Love conference, November 15-17 in Columbus, Ohio. Educational sessions, social events like poly speed dating and poly prom and the attendee-directed poly summit! Use code polyweekly at checkout to save 10%!
  • I’m presenting at CatalystCon on how to be a part-time sex educator Sept 27-29

9:00 Topic: Getting over the poly hump

Franklin and Eve give advice! How did you come to accept and embrace polyamory when it wasn’t your idea? For those who didn’t originally self-identify as polyamorous, how did you deal with conflicting emotion and come to embrace polyamory?

  • Recognize that your partner wanting polyamory is not about you.

    More Than Two Crowdfunding

  • Thank your partner for having the courage to be honest about what he/she needs.
  • Acknowledge that the relationship has already changed, so resist the urge to hold on to what you used to have.
  • Accept that this exploration of polyamory may mean that the current relationship might end.
  • Recognize that you are empowered to leave the relationship if it doesn’t work for you.
  • Find something in this new type of relationship for you that is a true benefit, not a “grit-and-bear-it” situation.
  • Finding someone to model successful poly relationships (like a poly support network) is essential.
  • Avoid the urge to control the polyamory with veto power or other restrictions.

Listener responses:

  • GreedyPaul calls in to say that he came to embrace polyamory when his mistress and her husband showed him over the months that their relationship and communication were honest.
  • Jess wrote in to describe her first and second introductions to polyamory and that, despite initial freakouts, she is “poly and never looked back.”
  • IssaWalters, Shadalicious, PolyNirvana and ZenHeathen were all swayed by the logical arguments
  • And thanks to Les and Lisa for sharing their experiences on Facebook

36:15 Happy Poly Moment

  • AggieSez shares a solo Happy Poly Moment
  • HeartWhisperer shared a HPM in which he felt compersion

41:00 Feedback

  • Vaughn on episode 361 comments that your polysaturation point changes over time
  • Vir mentioned a poly domestic fantasy novel Lifelode
  • A listener writes in to call bullshit on something not mentioned on episode 364 on being in love and vetoed: it’s the responsibility of the partner to stand up for the new relationship. The fact that the husband defend his relationship in the face of his wife’s communication blockade was indefensible. He says if you’re at the point of a vee, it’s your job to stand up for your new relationship as well as for your existing one.
  • Listener calls in to say that PW saved her and kept her sane!

53:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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