Poly Weekly #134: What is your love map?

The new Polyamory Weekly #134: What is your love map? is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #134

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:00 Gift idea
Minx and Graydancer rave about Twisted Monk‘s holiday gift box. If you want something kinky but pretty for one of your partners this year, it’s a great idea.

5:00 Review: Many Loves Workshop
If you’re in Chicago, consider attending this monthly workshop/support group at the Center on Halsted. For $15, you can chat with or just listen to other poly folk weighing in on the monthly topic.

7:30 Topic: Gottman and Silver’s Love Maps
From the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Graydancer and Minx talk over the idea of using these criteria as a jumping-off point for diagnosing your level of intimacy with your partner.

15:25 Poly in the Media
Alan reviews Web MD’s “The Truth About Open Marriage”, Kinky Sex Makes for Happy People and PepperMint’s excellent dissertation on “The Strange Credibility of Polyamory”

Event: Poly Living Conference
Poly Living 2008 in Philadelphia, PA is February 1st-3rd–check it out! With speakers like Anita Wagner, Ken Haslam, MD, Robyn Trask, Birgitte Philippides, CT Butler, and many more, Poly Living’s workshops range from basic to advanced and from intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.

23:45 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #133: Does jealousy equal love?

The new Polyamory Weekly #133: Does jealousy equal love? is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #133

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:30 Announcement: Many Loves workshop
This workshop and support series takes place at the Center on Halsted in Chicago, Saturday, December 8th, $15, 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. I’ll be there!

2:25 Topic: Does jealousy equal love?
Bill guest co-hosts to discuss this topic that Gafil brought up–why is it that the more deeply we love someone, the more intense the jealousy can feel? Why in our society does a lack of a jealous rage mean a lack of love?

25:10 Resource Review: Operational Intelligence
Sukima calls in a comprehensive review of Nan Wise’s Operational Intelligence in New York from November; 29:20 Trace calls in his experience of the same seminar and what he took home; if you’re in the area, be sure to check out PolyamorousNYC that meets the third Wednesday of every month

31:35 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #131: What are they saying?

The new Polyamory Weekly #131: What are they saying? is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #130

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Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:00 Introduction: Alan, Poly Weekly’s new Poly in the New correspondent
Meet Alan, creator and writer for the Polyamorous Percolations blog, Poly in the News. He has

3:00 Topics: Poly in the Media
Alan and Minx discuss three of the hottest poly in the media news stories:

Other articles covered in the Polyamory in the Media blog:
Mistress Matisse’ latest article in The Stranger on possible poly rules
Trans/queer triad goes public
Religion and poly

22:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #130: Why get married?

The new Polyamory Weekly #130: Why get married? is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #130

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

2:00 Announcements

  • Nan Wise, the Love Coach, is giving a seminar on Operational Intelligence: Understanding and Managing our Emotional and Sexual Systems, Wednesday, November 14th, in New York at the META Center. $30 to enter; $35 at the door. Email TheLoveCoach@aol.com for more info.
  • If you haven’t seen it already, the Boobs, boobs, boobs video, a boobiesexual delight, is up on YouTube to promo Polyamory Weekly. More poly-oriented videos will come as I/we the team have time to create them, but if you like, take a look and (also if you like) link to it from your blog or site. Thanks!

5:45 Chat with Nobilis: Why get married?
Nobilis and Minx discuss marriage and listener feedback on his ideas; 9:30 E calls in to say that people bother to get married because of the hundreds of legal rights accorded to married couples; Nobilis advocates taking apart the components of marriage instead of seeing it as all one blob and deciding what aspects of marriage the government wants to reward and why
14:15 Laura (who asked about the point of marriage at all to begin with) calls in to comment that a lot of bitterness in divorce could be avoided if we could have a ritual or contract that ends earlier or at a specific point; Nobilis says that we need a way to renegotiate our relationships as time goes on and compares marriages to our process for reevaluating our elected officials; he comments that any relationship ending will be painful, but negotiating the hole can help with ameliorating the pain of feeling like a failure
25:00Raina suggests negotiating marriages in advance instead of after the fact and choosing the type of marriage–a year and a day, lifetime, etc. and taking the type of relationship into consideration; Nobilis comments that a lot of our ideas of marriage come from an era when the wife needed protection; Minx and Nobilis discuss how to construct a household and who gets what rights
37:00 Dollfan wrote in doubting the “magic number” in terms of itch–seven years? four? two? nothing specific and not necessarily related to the amount of time to raise children; Nobilis tells of a culture in which a man coming of age is married to an older, infertile woman whose job is to teach the man to become a good husband, and the marriage is dissolved when the man is ready for marriage

Music
If you like the bumper music for Nobilis’ and my conversation, it’s We Are Together by Quebb, available for free download from Podshow

45:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #129: A Year and a Half In

The new Polyamory Weekly #129: A Year and a Half In is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #129

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Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

2:00 Interview: Max and Lorelei
Warning: this interview entails descriptions of a D/s relationship
Max and a naked Lorelei share with a naked Minx how they met; Lorelei shares how she found a place in an already busy poly household, which includes Mistress Matisse and Twisted Monk as well. Lorelei shares how they met and became Max’s service submissive in the household; 13:00 they address the “ripples” or adjustments that had to be made in the existing household to make room for Lorelei; 15:30 Max discusses that his new relationship was more threatening to his secondary partners than to Matisse because they felt they had less stability; time management; the No-Surprises rule; 22:40 Lorelei addresses the state of her current poly and how not bottoming to others for a while has expanded some of her BDSM skills; the value of having a supportive metamour like Mistress Matisse

29:00 Wrap-up
Thanks again to Max and Matisse for their hospitality; also to Monk and Freudian_slip for their hospitality as well!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #128: Free Gift with New Purchase!

The new Polyamory Weekly #128: Free Gift with New Purchase! is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:20 Announcements

  • Check out the new LiveJournal community, Poly_german for German-speaking polys
  • Loving More is hosting a one-day hotel seminar on November 3rd at the Clarion Airport in the Bay Area

3:30 Topic: Free Gift with New Purchase
Minx and Steve Eley discuss the idea of free gift with new purchase. You know, that great bonus gift you get when companies are trying to woo you–free cosmetic bag, cheap cable, low introductory interest rates on your credit card? How about not treating your old partner like your credit card company treats you–great stuff when you first sign up, but nothing special after they’ve “got” you. How about a reward for loyal, existing customers? How come just the new, NRE relationship gets all the goodies? Steve shares how he rewards his wife with bonus stuff when he starts a new relationship with someone else. In short, here’s how to keep your existing partner from feeling like and old cable customer while your new partner gets all the goodies. And Chore Wars? Yeah.

22:30 Listener Feedback: the Four-Year Itch
Grizzly audio comments that the first four are the basis relationship and the next two are to see if it will work after; Minx comments that it should be about making a deliberate relationship choice instead of “forever” being the default; Steve says there should always be a check-in feature to relationships; Laura asks why get married at all then?; Minx rants that there are many things that are worth enjoying in life that don’t last forever, including:

  1. Your childhood
  2. Your grandmother
  3. Christmas dinner with your family
  4. That great pizza you had last night
  5. Firefly
  6. The New York Marathon
  7. Mardi Gras
  8. The first snowfall of the year
  9. Flowers
  10. Boobs

38:00 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #127: Radical Ideas on Marriage

The new Polyamory Weekly #127: Radical Ideas on Marriage is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com;
friend me on Twitter
and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

2:00 Announcement: Many Loves workshop in Chicago, October 20th!
Many Loves: Workshop for Individuals and Families Practicing or Curious About Non-Monogamy. This workshop provides a supportive and safe environment for people to explore issues of non-monogamous practice and identity. Topics to be covered include: stigma management, safer sex issues, physical and emotional intimacy, boundaries, jealousy, cheating and infidelity in non-monogamous relationships, types of non-monogamy within relationships (open relationships, polyamory, etc), families and children, the workplace, resources, social networks and alternative identities.

Saturday, October 20th, from 10AM to 1PM at the Center on Halsted (3656 North Halsted, Chicago, IL 60613). There is a $15 fee for this workshop and you must be aged 18 years or older to attend. Please contact David Rodemaker (472-6469 x 472) with any questions.

3:30 Topic: An Essay on Marriage by Nobilis
Nobilis discusses his ideas on marriage as a contract; what the justifications for and consequences of divorce show about the legal and contract nature of marriage; radical ideas on how to negotiate the marriage contract. Please answer his intriguing question: if you were creating your marriage from scratch with no legal or religious preconceptions, what would YOU put into your marriage contact? Minx wants to know! For his erotica, visit his site.

12:00 Listener feedback: the Seven-Year Itch
James comments that six years is about right–four years for the marriage, and two years to fight to see if they want to stay together; Crispin from Perth, Australia sends in an audio comment on how he pre-arranged the length of his marriage with his wife; Minx comments that what you negotiate now may not be what is important to you in five, ten or 20 years; Nobilis sends an audio comment about using a family contract with a limited term and specified structure

17:30 Listener feedback: Dealing with ex’s socially
James comments on additional factors in how long you should wait before being socially comfortable with your ex; E writes in from the other camp–she doesn’t feel any need to stay in touch with ex’s, but does speak up when she sees unhealthy patterns with the ex and current partner

20:55 Topic follow-up: STD rates in circumcized vs. uncircumsized men
Evan wrote in to comment that male circumcision is associated with reduced risk of genital HPV infection in men whether or not their female partners have cervical HPV or cervical cancer. Circumcision is associated with reduced risk of cervical cancer in women with high-risk sexual partners. In men with low-risk sexual behaviour and monogamous female partners, circumcision makes no difference to the risk of cervical cancer. The actual study is here.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #126: Cool Sex and Adult Podcasts

The new Polyamory Weekly #126: Cool Sex and Adult Podcasts is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments.

1:20 Announcement: Adam Curry said my name!
Adam Curry reviewed Polyamory Weekly and other adult podcasts on Podfinder #28 this week.

3:30 Interview: Nikol of the Midwest Teen Sex Show
Nikol sits down with Steve Eley, Graydancer and me to talk about her experiences with women and her personal thoughts on polyamory.

13:20 Interview: Fausto of the Feast of Fools Gay Fun Show
Fausto talks about filming G-rated porn at Podcast Expo; cake-sitting; using YouTube to promote your podcast; how awesome Grammar Girl is

22:00 Interview: The HusBands
Ben and Chris share secrets of how to help married men stay married men!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #125: The Seven-Year Itch

The new Polyamory Weekly #125: The Seven-Year Itch is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments. We’ll do a meetup in the Los Angeles area for Podcast Expo.

2:00 Listener Feedback
Erik wrote in to announce he’s founded the Ethi-Q Slutdom”, for the Albuquerque-centric Ethical Slut and has also started a quotes wiki for Poly Weekly listeners!; J sent in a link to all Heinlein archives online

4:50 Comments: Poly erotica and Keeping Ex’s as friends
Michael says he can no longer listen in the car! Donut Rooter also keeps her ex’s as friends;

7:00 Poly Weekly is “socially destructive”!!
If you missed this post, please respond as if you found deviant magazine’s in your child’s possession. :-) Minx goes on a rant about intolerance and brainwashing of children and lets her listeners rant as well.

13:00 Topic: Shoud the Seven-Year Itch Legalized?
This article cites a Bavarian politician who proposed that marriage be for seven years with an option to renew. Notice how her opponent, who considers this idea un-Christian, has had a dent put in his reputation because he had a child by his mistress. Minx talks about the flawed concept of lifetime love and devotion and is all for the idea of marriage lasting, say, just four years, based on Helen Fisher’s research on The Anatomy of Love and the fact that across 62 cultures, divorce rates peak at the four-year mark.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

Poly Weekly #124: New Things You Need to Know About Sex

The new Polyamory Weekly #124: New Things You Need to Know about Sex is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments. Thanks to everyone who donated–we’ve printed over 1,500 PW postcards in the last month, and over half of them have been distributed!

5:00 Listener Feedback
Graydancer and RoxieFox create the term “polyobvious” in an audio comment to describe a poly relationship in which everyone’s relationships are transparent; 7:30 Ki gives us a positive shoutout; 8:45 another audio comment about the hot poly erotica and the sibling interaction being a little squick-inducing; 10:00 J points out that geeks give tech gifts because it’s an area they know and it’s in their comfort zone; he recommends www.chorewars.com; Skip recommends Second Life, a 3D interactive virtual environment–where a threesome can watch the same streaming video together from all over the world!!

17:20 Topic: Poly replacing extended families
Cynical Soul comments that yes, the poly family does replace her dwindled nuclear family; Jennifer has five families–biological, two medieval ones, and poly ones; this is all decided on the individual’s needs

21:10 Question: How do you love?
Skie Velvet asks about lifetime love–how to you deal with your ex’s? Do you stop loving them and break contact once you break up, or do you keep them in your life, even if they’ve hurt you badly?

26:00 Comment: Points
Skie Velvet also comments on NOT using points in relationships–too tit-for-tat to really be productive

27:30 Topic: New Things You Need to Know about Sex
Read the full article here. How many of these things did you know already? Hopefully, not too much of this was news to you!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!

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