PW 373: Sex positive blowout at CatalystCon West

Cunning Minx, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, Lynn Comella at #ccon

Cunning Minx, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, Lynn Comella at #ccon

What is going on in the sex positive world?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Host chat

Welcome to our new affiliate sponsor, GetSTDTested.com Use code “polyweekly” at checkout for a discount! Or just click on the banner in the right sidebar. :-)

5:00 Topic: Sex positive mojo at CatalystCon West

 28:15 Feedback

  • Jason in Wisconsin shares how he and his wife came to get over the poly hump
  • Herbalwise comments on the legalities of marriage from episode 354
  • Vir asks about how to cope when a partner passes away

 36:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 371: Poly and sex work

sabrinamorgan_1338669556_38How does polyamory overlap with sex work, and how do you maintain your relationships when it does?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Host chat

  • Welcome to our new affiliate sponsor, GetSTDTested.com Use code “polyweekly” at checkout for a discount!
  • Want to help spread the word about Poly Weekly? Nominate us for the Mature category at the Podcast Awards before October 15

5:15 Interview: Poly and sex work

The lovely and talented Sabrina Morgan joins us for a chat about activism, fetishism and to answer listener questions about polyamory and sex work.

  • Former enemies are now advocating for sex worker rights
  • What’s the biggest issue right now? Sex work is being covered in the media exclusively as sex trafficking, where all consensual sex workers and educators are lumped under the same category and ruled by the same laws.
  • We need accurate data on sex workers, not just those 10% on the street.
  • Minx unintentionally brings up a topic: using words such as “pimp” and ideas of sex workers as disposable or a safe target in common parlance.
  • Grace, a PW listener, started working as a cam girl and was surprised when her boyfriend had an issue with it. Advice?
    • Good news is that sex positive folks are less likely to slut shame
    • Whorephobia goes a step beyond this; many still struggle with this idea that doing sex work makes one “other”
    • Don’t make your professional life something that is vetoable in a relationship. Economic power is not negotiable.

29:00 Feedback

Jane shares a frustrating story of couple-centrism and being expected to be instantly and automatically best friends with a metamour with veto power—and how it’s nice to hear about LustyGuy, L and me as a positive example!

31:00 Happy Poly Moment

KittenCalendar shares a story of being smushy, scared and single.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 357: How much sex is “normal”?

How much sex is “normal” in a committed relationship?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

2:00 Announcements

5:00 Topic: How often do normal people have sex?

24:00 Our advice for good sex:

  1. Talk about what you want and what you need; know the difference.
  2. Be willing to hear “no” and/or negotiate a counter offer.
  3. Be open to your partner’s/partners’ wants, needs and fantasies. Don’t shut the door before educating yourself.
  4. Get educated. Treat sex like any other physical skill.
  5. Consider your sexual health a lifelong endeavor and never complete.

33:00 Feedback

Jordy shares her concerns that couples are being bashed in our attempts to create awareness of couple privilege. Note: Minx accidentally referred to Jordy as “he.” And damn LustyGuy for letting me do it! Sorry, Jordy! You’re pretty. :-)

37:00 Thank you

Thanks to Eric and Benjamin for their donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 352: Prostate pleasure and health

Everything you need to know about prostate pleasure and health (well, some of it, anyway)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
  • Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
  • Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

2:00 Interview: Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian talk about their new book, Prostate Pleasure and Health: why they wrote this book; that enjoying this wonderful pleasure doesn’t make you gay; how to prepare for prostate and anal play; and a ton of other stuff you never knew until now!

  • They met at Good Vibrations
  • Why do we need a book on prostate pleasure? There wasn’t one!

    Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

  • Key prostate advice: Stroke, don’t poke.
  • What is the prostate?  Part of the male reproductive anatomy that produces semen, and many men find that prostate massage creates a sensation similar to ejaculation.
  • Does prostate stimulation make you gay? No. Does it make you a bottom? No. It can be powerful to be fully present in your masculinity and enjoy receiving.
  • 13:00 Why is prostate stimulation so pleasurable? We’re not sure, but perhaps the autonomic nerves (involved in ejaculation) are being stimulated.
  • 18:30 Tip for anal penetration: relaxation, communication and lubrication!
  • The day I found my ass; The zen of anal play
  • 24:35 Does prostate massage have health benefits?
  • Twitter and Facebook

32:45 Happy Poly Moment

Some Guy in Bristol, England shares a texting moment that WOULD have gone awry, had he not been transparently poly!

34:15 Thanks

To Craig for his generous donation this week!

 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 326: Negotiating poly and tantra

Buddha lolcatHow tantric practitioners negotiated non-monogamy

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

  • Upcoming gigs at Paradise, Polycamp NW and CatalystCon
  • Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation at http://www.polyweekly.com, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 30, we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012!

3:30 Topic: Negotiating poly with tantra

South African correspondent Erich Viege recorded an interview with Shima and Andrew about teaching tantra while trying to negotiate non-monogamy.

15:00 Happy Poly Moment

Cindy shares a happy poly moment of friendships with metamours and poly going well after communication.

16:30 Thanks

Thanks to Adam for the $69 donation. Woo hoo!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 315: What would monogamists do?

#mconFreshly returned from MomentumCon, a recap of the sessions on feminism, sexuality and sex-positivism today. Plus, using “what would monogamists do?” as a guiding question.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

20:45 Topic: What would monogamists do?

A listener writes in to ask how to act around her partner’s OSO (metamour) and challenges the What Would Monogamists Do guiding question. How much flirting is OK around your SO and OSO, and how should you act towards your metamour in social situations?

29:30 Happy Poly Moment

  • Summersnake shares a moment of compersion when sending his wife off to spend time with her sweetie
  • Don writes in to share compersion and joy at his partner’s meeting the metamours

33:25 Feedback

Taylor on controlled male orgasms through controlling the flow of chi

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 313: Everyday ecstasy and thinking off

Why Ecstasy is Necessary

An interview with Barbara Carrellas, author of Ecstasy is Necessary, on making tantric sex available to everyone on an everyday basis

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 Announcements and Host chat

3:50 Interview: Why ecstasy is necessary

Barbara Carrellas is a certified sexologist, sex educator, sex/life coach, and sensual
revolutionary. She is the author of a new book on tantra for the everyday user, Ecstasy is Necessary She answers Minx’s and LustyGuy’s questions, such as:

  • Why another book on tantra? How is this book more accessible and less woo-woo?
  • Isn’t tantra just breathing together for two hours and not coming?
  • What is “thinking off” and can you really breathe your way to an orgasm?
  • How can tantra be achieved with our distracted monkey minds?
  • 16:00 LustyGuy switchover!
  • What about the science and medical information in the book, which is remarkably detailed and accurate?
  • Why is it important that there isn’t one true path to ecstasy?
  • Was it intentional that the book is directed at everyone, not just the kink and woo-woo communities?
  • Angergasms, screamgasms and feargasms

24:35 Thanks

Thanks and welcome to new PW Playmates James and Haddayr as well as to Tara for the generous donations!

26:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

VIDEO: Violet Blue at Gnomedex

Violet Blue gave a helluva talk on sex-positive education and emerging technology at Gnomedex. I missed it, myself, but delighted to see her kick ass in front of an audience primarily of tech geeks, not sex educators:

Sex 2.0: The new sex educators

Ducky DoolittleNotes from Ducky Dolittle’s session at Sex 2.0:

  • Ducky started doing peep shows on 42nd Street and spent a lot of time being ashamed of her work. Then she met Annie Sprinkle and decided to become an educator. Got her GED and set out to create an army of sex educators to invade the world.
  • Ducky talks money: sex educators need to talk to each other to compare notes on what and how they were paid for certain gigs and share notes about the most reliable clients
  • It’s on sex educators to create a standard that others can look up to: we need accreditation
  • The trials of choosing a sponsor–we need to get paid for our speaking (and no one makes money from a book) but we don’t always get to choose each toy that the sponsors promote. What do you think of Sue Johanson or Dr. Ruth? The point: have a critical eye to content and talk to other educators.
  • Dr. Ruth still maintains a private practice three days a week–very few can make a full-time salary as a sex educator
  • “The number one way we learn anything in life is through gossip.” We all have the ability to be great sex educators if we take the time to listen to others.
  • Who is your favorite sex educator and why? Answering these questions will help guide your path as a sex educator. Who came up in the session as fave educators: Heather Corinna, Betty Dodson, Dan Savage

Review: Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage

Yes, adult product reviews are BACK, along with our sponsor, AdamEve.com (and a special discount with coupon checkout code “Minx”)!

Can’t afford to go out in this economy? Cheaper to stay in and have some good, old-fashioned carnal fun. If you’ve been wanting to try bondage, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage is a great place to start. First, Nina just rocks–she’s a talented and respected educator who isn’t just making videos for a quick buck; she’s genuinely part of the kink scene.

Also, she looks great in black latex.

The DVD breaks down into three main sections with a postlude. The first 18 minutes are the bondage discussion, in which Nina and the lovely Carmen Luvana (hot blond from the cover) talk about what you need to know and discuss before you dive into tying up your loved one. They cover the “why” of bondage–remember how much fun it was to play Cowboys and Indians when you were kids? Or Pirate Ship? The thrill of the chase and capture can be a lot of fun. And then Nina walks us through the negotiation process in detail, covering basic trust, past issues that might come up, physical limitations, and the nature of consent. As Nina points out, “consent is a continually renewing contract that doesn’t stop the first time someone says yes.”

Next, the lovely ladies cover safety, including the availability and use of safety shears and the use of common safewords such as green, yellow and red. Next up is basic principles of anatomy–tie wrists first, not ankles, what to tie them to, what to do when they struggle. In short, a pretty fun yet educational discussion.

DON’T SKIP THAT PART! The opening discussion is a great place to start and will make the porn much more fun to watch after!

Demo 1: Nina Hartley restrains Randy Spears
This segment starts about 18 minutes in and is delightful if you’re a woman looking to restrain your man. Nina starts with a sensible and sexy negotiation on the bed before slapping Randy in restraints and teasing him with her ass, hands, feet and mouth. (BTW, I love how Nina giggles, with a gleeful “hee HEE!”) Next, she walks through anal prep and penetration on herself. Man, is it nice to see a woman enjoying anal sex!

Demo 2: Nina and Carmen Luvana with Tommy Gunn
This segment begins about 50 minutes in. The cute bombshell Carmen Luvana, clad elegantly in powder-blue latex, cuffs on herself; then Tommy shows up to collar her. I have to say that the white shoes, cuffs, collar and flogger weren’t appealing to me; call me old-fashioned, but I like basic black. Still, the scene could be great for beginners who want to look cute in bondage. The best scene by far was with Carmen’s hands tightly harnessed behind her as she went down on Tommy (and he seemed to enjoy it, too!) And Carmen is just adorable when she occasionally exclaims in Spanish; co cute!

The video closes with a postlude–a reminder to focus on consent, communication and safety first. As Nina says, “the quality of your experience will be determined by the honesty and intimacy of your relationship”–so communicate first for hotter, kinky sex!

Make a Donation

Poly Weekly Playmates!

Wanna play?

Poly Weekly on Facebook

Poly Weekly on Twitter