Why Ecstasy is Necessary
An interview with Barbara Carrellas, author of Ecstasy is Necessary, on making tantric sex available to everyone on an everyday basis
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Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen
1:00 Announcements and Host chat
3:50 Interview: Why ecstasy is necessary
Barbara Carrellas is a certified sexologist, sex educator, sex/life coach, and sensual
revolutionary. She is the author of a new book on tantra for the everyday user, Ecstasy is Necessary She answers Minx’s and LustyGuy’s questions, such as:
- Why another book on tantra? How is this book more accessible and less woo-woo?
- Isn’t tantra just breathing together for two hours and not coming?
- What is “thinking off” and can you really breathe your way to an orgasm?
- How can tantra be achieved with our distracted monkey minds?
- 16:00 LustyGuy switchover!
- What about the science and medical information in the book, which is remarkably detailed and accurate?
- Why is it important that there isn’t one true path to ecstasy?
- Was it intentional that the book is directed at everyone, not just the kink and woo-woo communities?
- Angergasms, screamgasms and feargasms
Thanks and welcome to new PW Playmates James and Haddayr as well as to Tara for the generous donations!
26:30 Wrap up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email email@example.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!
Notes from Ducky Dolittle’s session at Sex 2.0:
- Ducky started doing peep shows on 42nd Street and spent a lot of time being ashamed of her work. Then she met Annie Sprinkle and decided to become an educator. Got her GED and set out to create an army of sex educators to invade the world.
- Ducky talks money: sex educators need to talk to each other to compare notes on what and how they were paid for certain gigs and share notes about the most reliable clients
- It’s on sex educators to create a standard that others can look up to: we need accreditation
- The trials of choosing a sponsor–we need to get paid for our speaking (and no one makes money from a book) but we don’t always get to choose each toy that the sponsors promote. What do you think of Sue Johanson or Dr. Ruth? The point: have a critical eye to content and talk to other educators.
- Dr. Ruth still maintains a private practice three days a week–very few can make a full-time salary as a sex educator
- “The number one way we learn anything in life is through gossip.” We all have the ability to be great sex educators if we take the time to listen to others.
- Who is your favorite sex educator and why? Answering these questions will help guide your path as a sex educator. Who came up in the session as fave educators: Heather Corinna, Betty Dodson, Dan Savage
Yes, adult product reviews are BACK, along with our sponsor, AdamEve.com (and a special discount with coupon checkout code “Minx”)!
Can’t afford to go out in this economy? Cheaper to stay in and have some good, old-fashioned carnal fun. If you’ve been wanting to try bondage, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage is a great place to start. First, Nina just rocks–she’s a talented and respected educator who isn’t just making videos for a quick buck; she’s genuinely part of the kink scene.
Also, she looks great in black latex.
The DVD breaks down into three main sections with a postlude. The first 18 minutes are the bondage discussion, in which Nina and the lovely Carmen Luvana (hot blond from the cover) talk about what you need to know and discuss before you dive into tying up your loved one. They cover the “why” of bondage–remember how much fun it was to play Cowboys and Indians when you were kids? Or Pirate Ship? The thrill of the chase and capture can be a lot of fun. And then Nina walks us through the negotiation process in detail, covering basic trust, past issues that might come up, physical limitations, and the nature of consent. As Nina points out, “consent is a continually renewing contract that doesn’t stop the first time someone says yes.”
Next, the lovely ladies cover safety, including the availability and use of safety shears and the use of common safewords such as green, yellow and red. Next up is basic principles of anatomy–tie wrists first, not ankles, what to tie them to, what to do when they struggle. In short, a pretty fun yet educational discussion.
DON’T SKIP THAT PART! The opening discussion is a great place to start and will make the porn much more fun to watch after!
Demo 1: Nina Hartley restrains Randy Spears
This segment starts about 18 minutes in and is delightful if you’re a woman looking to restrain your man. Nina starts with a sensible and sexy negotiation on the bed before slapping Randy in restraints and teasing him with her ass, hands, feet and mouth. (BTW, I love how Nina giggles, with a gleeful “hee HEE!”) Next, she walks through anal prep and penetration on herself. Man, is it nice to see a woman enjoying anal sex!
Demo 2: Nina and Carmen Luvana with Tommy Gunn
This segment begins about 50 minutes in. The cute bombshell Carmen Luvana, clad elegantly in powder-blue latex, cuffs on herself; then Tommy shows up to collar her. I have to say that the white shoes, cuffs, collar and flogger weren’t appealing to me; call me old-fashioned, but I like basic black. Still, the scene could be great for beginners who want to look cute in bondage. The best scene by far was with Carmen’s hands tightly harnessed behind her as she went down on Tommy (and he seemed to enjoy it, too!) And Carmen is just adorable when she occasionally exclaims in Spanish; co cute!
The video closes with a postlude–a reminder to focus on consent, communication and safety first. As Nina says, “the quality of your experience will be determined by the honesty and intimacy of your relationship”–so communicate first for hotter, kinky sex!
Time to pay some bills… with a review of the Rotating G Spot Rabbit vibrator!
For 50% off any item at AdamEve.com, use coupon code MINX
Yup, it’s the one featured on That Episode of Sex and the City, where Charlotte develops VD (vibrator dependency). I’m not much one for vibrators, myself, so I gave it to my roommate, SmartAssSub, to product-test. She was delighted, as her own vibrator had died the day before. Serendipity, yes? Yes!
She opted to use the bunny-only option, just for clitoral stimulation–no insertion. According to her, “if I had inserted, I would have lost my fucking mind!” The busy little bunny has three settings–pulsing, constant and fast pulsing. On the constant setting, it kindly bestowed three consequential orgasms–and then one big one. SAS reports the toy is user-friendly right out of the box, the material warms to skin temperature nicely, and she kept it at hand for the rest of the night–just in case.
- “I didn’t want to let go of it. It was a fun ride. And it doesn’t snore. Huzzah!”
- “The only thing that would make this fucking cooler was if it lit up.”
- “I was really hoping to have sex with someone other than myself this year, but in the meantime, this will do nicely!”
SmartAssSub give the Rabbit two thumbs way up!
For 50% off any item at AdamEve.com, use coupon code MINX
[drool, drool, drool]
You know what I love about gay porn? Two cum shots for the price of one! At least two lovely loads blown for every scene. This is what a bukkake girl loves!
Today at lunch I took a little break, closed the office door, put on headphones, and watched When the Wife’s Away, a hot little piece in which four men sit around the poker table, telling of their gay exploits while their wives were away on business or visiting their mothers. Oh, the forbidden joy of hot gay sex! If I were one of the wives, though, I’d have to say I’d be furious if they hadn’t filmed it for me!
Oh, right; they did. Ahem.
Four hot guys around the poker table; four hot scenes. You know what I love? Every scene started with deep tongue kissing and featured a lot of great closeups of making out. There is so little making out in straight porn that the kissing really caught me by surprise–in a very nice way. That, and the condom use. Straight porn doesn’t seem to have caught on to the fact that condoms, especially for anal sex, is not just hot but also responsible. Every single scene showed anal condom use–cool!
First scene: the plumber. Ah, who hasn’t had a hot plumber fantasy? And how nice that it wasn’t populated by some bleached bimbo with a bad boob job and tacky eye makeup. Second scene: picking up the bag boy from the grocery store. And get this: they actually shot the opener scene on location at the grocery store, loading the groceries into the car… and then loading the shopper at home. (Cum shot at 42:00 is especially nice.) Third scene: my favorite, the milkman. The young stud had soft pink lips that wrapped nicely around the guy’s cock and were made for kissing and sucking. Plus, the double cum shot (at 58:00 and on) lasted a FULL TWO MINUTES, this little bukkake’s girl’s dream! And I liked it despite the fact they couldn’t resist ending with the cliched “Got milk?” line. Fourth scene: once again, shot on location at the United terminal–what’s a hot pilot to do when he doesn’t have a quarter to call for a ride to his hotel? Why, go home with the hot young stud who just sent his wife off on a business trip, of course! The at home dialogue consisted of one line: “so why did you bring me here?” followed by the blow job of a lifetime. Ah, if only our conversations could be so physical!
I think I might have to stop watching straight porn all together. Condoms, kissing, tons of cum? What’s not to love?
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This week I took a look at Just Popped In, a video all “ready and willing for your creamy filling,” claiming 100% internal pop shots. I’ll admit; I was curious. I’ve got a cum fetish, myself, but we all know that most of us have sex and actually cum internally, right? Plus, I did briefly date someone who enjoyed “cream pie” porn, with the cum leaking out of the girl. The idea was hot, so I took a look. My comments:
- the production company’s crazy animated sperm is hysterical. “Bad Seed” inseed! It looks evil!
- First scene: again, porn stars shouldn’t be allowed to talk. They just sound silly. However, seeing the ditzy-sounding blonde choked on cock was nice. And the final pop shot, with a nice bit of
cum flowing out of her pussy was luscious, especially, with a little of her own squirt for fun.
- Next was a threesome scene–first just lesbian with the two girls, then the two sucking one very nice cock (again, stop the spitting). I have to say that the low-class British accent on one just made her sound awfully naughty, and the sense of urgency and desperation was more my style.
- I don’t think anyone else could have pulled off “do you like dirty whores, you man whore?” as well. Truly, the girls in this scene were rather commanding, so I’m amending my “porn stars shouldn’t talk” rule to “BLOND porn starts shouldn’t talk.” They can talk if they’re not blond and call someone a “dirty fucking whore.”
- This scene skipped the money shot and cut to his cum dripping from one pussy into the other girl’s mouth–plus a little of her squirt for fun. I think this was my favorite money shot. 😉
- Next scene went straight to penetration from rear; fetishists will love it. Nice range of positions if you go for that sort of thing, decent final shot leaking out of pussy.
- Note on next scene (in the kitchen) to men: Calvin Klein boxer briefs are hot.
- At this point, I just started skipping to the final shots–dripping onto a spoon stuck me as deliciously decadent.
So hey, I tried something new and enjoyed quite a bit of it. You can, too! Get this and other movies for your Porn & Brownies night at AdamEve.com, 50% off any one item when you use coupon code “Minx.”
First of all, I have to say that the best way to watch porn is with friends. And brownies! Yes, to make product reviewing even more fun, I instituted Porn & Brownie Night and invited a few friends over. I highly encourage you to do the same. You’ll learn a lot about your friends, and who doesn’t love brownies? Let’s do it! Let’s start a Porn & Brownie Movement! All over the country! No, the WORLD!
Um, OK. Right. The review. Big Boob Orgy.
The DVD started out predictably–lame girl-on-girl action with heavily-made-up girls with super-long, French-manicured acrylics going at each other’s clits like they were drilling for oil. PSA: if you ever rub my clit that hard, you’ll get kicked in the head.
However, I did enjoy the very enthusiastic blow job scene by the pool–she didn’t have the traditional chorus of fake moans and genuinely seemed to be into it, which is a much bigger turn-on for me. This was followed by a two-girl blow job scene in the hall, which started out rather staged, but then sucked me in. How? The guy started grabbing the girls’ heads and forcing them on, including forcing them to deep throat. Yummy! A little bit of coercion goes a long way!
Commentary from that evening:
J (a 25-year-old man): “So, do women really like that?”
Boobs McGee: “No!”
Your mileage may vary. I’m just sayin’ the Minx likes to see a little manly force used every now and then.
Note to all porn producers: STOP THE SPITTING! What, is it really that unsexy to just reach for some lube? If it were spitting for humiliation, sure, maybe. But to lubricate because you’re too lazy to reach for some lube? Yuck. Stop the spitting.
Finally, the majority of the DVD was a big, honkin’ orgy scene with pairs, triads, quads all going at each other every which way. Nice because it was so obviously unscripted–the camera guy kept dropping the boom into the scene as he tried to squeeze his way around the sea of naked, moaning, writhing bodies. Human chains, a guy doing two luscious asses, even some acrobatics from the more flexible gals. Boobs McGee says, “I could masturbate to that scene.” And there’s a lot of it–it seems to go on forever!
BTW, my favorite, play-it-over-and-over cum shot of the DVD: Chapter 21. Bookmark it. Save it. Make it into a Christmas card.
My only complaint is that for a DVD entitled “Big Boob Orgy,” there wasn’t any special attention paid to the boobs, and they weren’t any bigger or smaller than on any other porno. Meh. Ah, well.
Get this and other movies for your Porn & Brownies night at AdamEve.com, 50% off any one item when you use coupon code “Minx.”
Seeing as I’m in a state of multidating singlehood, this little present from AdamEve.com seemed to be the best toy for practicing my on-top ride for the next strapping young man to come along.
The Hot Seat is billed as a “ride to the best orgasm ever on this 7” vibrating dong mounted on a velvety inflatable cushion! Firm jelly dong has multiple speeds, and the cushion features E-Z Grip handles so you control the strokes, fast or slow. Black. Holds up to 300 lbs. and uses 2 AA batteries.”
The hot seat is quite study indeed, and I’ve no doubt it would easily support 300 pounds. And the inflation aspect means it’s easy to store, which is a plus. Personally, I nearly passed out blowing the thing up, but perhaps that means I need to work on my own stamina! And then there was the mad scramble to find AA batteries that weren’t otherwise employed. (I ended up liberating a set from one of my lesser-used vibrators.)
At first test, the dong was… ahem… just too big and too hard for me. I worked my way up to it with smaller vibrators first, used a little lube, and then slid it in. Still, my ever-sensitive lips found the unyielding hard plastic a bit too tough to be comfortable. Yes, ladies, a cock apparently can be too hard! However, I did have a lovely time playing with different positions and found a lovely one (kneeling on left knee, right foot on bed with knee bent) that my g-spot liked almost as much as a real cock! If you lack endurance on top and want a workout, this is a good toy for you.
Sturdy, easy to store, nice vibration control, great for playing with g-spot control from a superior position
The lovely black fabric tends to collect cat hair and, in my place anyway, would require constant cleaning. The cock is one-size-fits-all, and a bit large at that; the hard plastic can make it uncomfortable and distract from an otherwise pleasant experience. It’s not detachable, so it’s rather hard to clean.
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Since I seem to have skipped straight from homemade toys to the $300 Saint Andrew’s cross in my own kink journeys, I was wondering what these beginning bondage kits are like. Are they any good? Would they really be useful for wannabe kinksters just trying to spice it up a bit without joining a dungeon and suspending each other inverted from hard points in the bedroom. What if you just wanted a little kink and didn’t want to make that trip to Home Depot?
So when AdamEve.com‘s Love Restraints arrived in the mail, I asked my kinky friends to help try them out. What did true kinksters say about the beginner’s Love Restraints?
Overall, the impression was darn positive. Without looking at the package, my buddy Zed promptly strapped my roommate’s hands crossed behind her back, and then just as quickly released her and restrained her hands in front of her body, one crossed over the other. My roommate obligingly struggled a bit to see if she could break the restraints, and she couldn’t (although she did note that the rope did tighten on the wrists, so beginners should check for profusion and tell partners if they feel pins and needles over time to avoid potential nerve damage). Also, the ropes are attached to the belt with quick-release clips, so no need to carry safety shears around should you need to release your sweetie for urgent, animalistic sex.
Comments about the Love Restraints:
“They’re really versatile.”
“Comfortable. I could fall asleep.”
“Easy to use.”
The waist belt comes with an extender to fit from teeny tiny (like me) up to about a size 18. The belt is vinyl, not leather, so it won’t last forever. But hey, if you rip these puppies apart in the first six weeks, chances are you’re no longer in the “beginner” category of kink and might want to check out shibari. Or riding crops, leather floggers, canes and single-tails.
Or is that just me?
For 50% off this and other items, visit AdamEve.com and use checkout code “MINX”