Since I seem to have skipped straight from homemade toys to the $300 Saint Andrew’s cross in my own kink journeys, I was wondering what these beginning bondage kits are like. Are they any good? Would they really be useful for wannabe kinksters just trying to spice it up a bit without joining a dungeon and suspending each other inverted from hard points in the bedroom. What if you just wanted a little kink and didn’t want to make that trip to Home Depot?
So when AdamEve.com‘s Love Restraints arrived in the mail, I asked my kinky friends to help try them out. What did true kinksters say about the beginner’s Love Restraints?
Overall, the impression was darn positive. Without looking at the package, my buddy Zed promptly strapped my roommate’s hands crossed behind her back, and then just as quickly released her and restrained her hands in front of her body, one crossed over the other. My roommate obligingly struggled a bit to see if she could break the restraints, and she couldn’t (although she did note that the rope did tighten on the wrists, so beginners should check for profusion and tell partners if they feel pins and needles over time to avoid potential nerve damage). Also, the ropes are attached to the belt with quick-release clips, so no need to carry safety shears around should you need to release your sweetie for urgent, animalistic sex.
Comments about the Love Restraints:
“They’re really versatile.”
“Comfortable. I could fall asleep.”
“Easy to use.”
The waist belt comes with an extender to fit from teeny tiny (like me) up to about a size 18. The belt is vinyl, not leather, so it won’t last forever. But hey, if you rip these puppies apart in the first six weeks, chances are you’re no longer in the “beginner” category of kink and might want to check out shibari. Or riding crops, leather floggers, canes and single-tails.
Or is that just me?
For 50% off this and other items, visit AdamEve.com and use checkout code “MINX”
Review of Astro Ride
First, the basics: Astro Ride is the first toy from Adam and Eve that I got to try. It’s a ribbed, flexible, waterproof anal vibrator, and it looks like this:
OK, now the fun begins! We first tried inserting it just by itself, but it’s a bit big at the tip, so we prepped the ass with a few fingers and a more tapered anal toy first. Once this puppy was in, however… I think the immediate response was, “OK. New. Favorite. Toy!” The vibrations are positively ecstatic and unlike anything I’d felt before. Why did it take me so long to get a vibrating anal toy?? But just for fun, we paired it with a vaginal vibrator as well. Turns out that was a bit too much stimulation, so we switched strategies. I was curious was his experience would be, so we left the Astro Ride in (yay for me!) and tried some good, old-fashioned PIV sex.
The hardest part was figuring out the best position. Since the Astro Ride doesn’t have a flared base, it can be a bit tough to keep inside and a-vibin’ in some sexual positions. We tried girl on top first, which was a bit awkward until I leaned in closer to him, which gave him a delightful sensation. His response was something like “Wow wow wow wow wow,” I believe. 🙂
Next up was missionary, which worked the best. I didn’t have to worry about the Astro Ride falling out, and he had control of his own penetration, which he ended up doing shallower than usual to take advantage of the ring of vibey goodness being transmitted through my urethral sponge. His response? “I think if you were a gay man, this would be a slice of heaven!” Mine? This is one of the most relaxing toys I’ve experienced.
“People say you need to take the stick out of your butt. I think that you need to get the stick in your butt and vibrating.” Soooo relaxing; it was better than a massage!
If you want to try your own, go to AdamandEve.com and use checkout code “Minx” for 50% off this and everything else.
The new Polyamory Weekly #152: Trans Like Me! is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #152
Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!
Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page!
0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at http://forum.polyweekly.com.
1:00 Host Chat
A Cunning Minx freshly back from Sex 2.0 relishes the memories of the conference! Rachel Kramer Bussel, eroticist and cupcake whore, was a delight; Regina Lynn from Wired; Audacia Ray, vixen extraordinaire and Melissa Gira made it amazing!
My first session was on sacred sexuality; Elizabeth Wood’s session on creating a sex-positive commons online was a great discussion; my own seminar on “Poly Pervs Like Me: Where Are They Hiding?” was packed full; Regina Lynn’s session on the history of cybersex was hysterical and enlightening; the last session of the day was Viviane of Viviane’s Sex Carnival with tons of great online tools
Plus, I learned that I’m too old to be a pole dancer!
8:00 Interview: Trans Like Me: Benny
Joanie had asked about transitioning from being a woman’s husband to being her wife and wanted to know about being poly and transgendered
9:30 Introduction: Benny is 26 and has been thinking about transitioning from a young age; kinky and pansexual for a long time
11:00 labels in the trans community
13:00 when and how it’s OK to ask what the transgendered story is; only OK to ask about genitals if the person is a potential partner
18:20 prejudice within the poly community
23:00 poly and kinky overlap; etiquette with trans folks in the poly community
28:00 using the wrong pronoun; rude outings
Check out his podcast, Young and Kinky on the 18-35-age kinksters
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email email@example.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Thanks for listening!
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Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”
Question is, how will the Wet Spots’ song, You Can’t Buy a Dildo in Texas change now that you CAN buy a dildo in Texas?
Well, 200 columns, anyway. If you’ve never read Tristan Taromino’s column Pucker Up! in the Village Voice, now is a good time to start. Tristan is one of the pioneers of sex-positivism–she was writing about Texas’ ban on vibrators back when I lived in Texas and didn’t even OWN a vibrator yet! (I caught up fast!)
Read her retrospective column here. And look forward to her upcoming book on polyamory. That reminds me; I need to contact her and bring her own the show…
I’m not sure everyone will be able to see this, but the lovely SweetAinsley wrote up a summary of the presentation from last weekend’s TNGC meeting, with Jack Rinella speaking on Better Blow Jobs. Her summary is fantastic, with resources at the end, to boot!
You don’t have to be kinky to get a lot out of this information!
[Edit: SweetAinsley has unlocked the post and also kindly gave permission for it to be reprinted here:]
Better Blow Jobs, a talk at TNGC by Jack Rinella
In his talk, Mr. Rinella didn’t talk about the technique of giving head to a man so much as the attitude one brings to the table. (And we never did get a chance to practice.) A good blow job requires the sucker to be hungry for the cock, but it is more than just sucking. And while quicky blow jobs might be nice once in a while, it’s generally better to take you’re time. Especially don’t treat it as a chore that you want to finish as soon as possible.
Cock sucking is best approached with a holistic approach. The physical and emotional state of both partners will influence the experience, as will the environment. The more you pay attention to all of the influences, the better you’ll be able to block out what you don’t want and incorporate what you do. You can create a full body experience by engaging every sense and incorporating visualizations.
Each partner may engage their full body during a blow job by using their hands or feet to massage (or inflict pain upon, etc.) other parts of the body at the same time. (The nipples, for instance, can be seen as little penises that are wired to the cock.) One way of paying attention to his whole body is to begin by kissing his feet. Slowly lick up his legs and down his arms, paying attention to his extremities before getting to his midsection.
When you get to the cock, don’t engulf it right away. Smell it, breathe it in, stroke it with your tongue, and hold it quietly in your mouth. Guppie suck by focusing on just on the tip of the head. Add kisses and flutter licks. It’s possible to use your teeth gently in a way that doesn’t hurt. Vary things like speed, pressure, movement. Try to stroke up and down with a hand while bobbing your head. Lick and squeeze his nuts. Stroke his ass with hands; get a finger wet and rub his ass hole. Experiment with other things in your mouth at the same time like flavored lube or pop rocks.
What if you have a problem with your gag reflex? Work on it by practicing slowly. When you feel like you’re gagging, the urge is to pull back dramatically. Don’t. Pull back only about 1/4”. Breathe, relax, and do nothing until you’re comfortable in that position. Then try to increase the depth. However, you don’t have to take it all in. Deep throating does not necessarily mean a great blow job. Accept what you’re body can do, and work within your limitations.
As the suckee, you may increase your pleasure by practicing orgasm control where you can learn to enjoy orgasm without ejaculation. (However, if you hold back, it’s helpful to tell the sucker so that they don’t fear a lack of skill and become discouraged.)
Safety note: Avoid giving head if you’re mouth is bleeding, or there are open sores. Don’t brush your teeth or floss beforehand, as this may irritate your gums. Herpes, syphilis, HPV, hepatitis, and gonorrhea can be passed between partners during oral sex. (Flavored condoms are made especially for oral sex.)
How to Pleasure a Cock by Jack Rinella
How to Give a BlowJob by the Over-Educated Nympho
Fellatio Wikipedia entry
Yes, there are medical uses for vibrators.
In fact, as this article reminds us, vibrators were originally designed to treat “hysteria” in women. This has always led me to imagine a lot of women faking “hysteria” in order to go visit the doctor, who presumably knew where the clitoris is and how to treat it. I mean, hey, when I went without orgasms for too long, I get pretty grouchy, too. I wonder if “hysteria” was just fancy term for “raving bitch” back then?
I’ve used orgasms to treat headaches, sinus infections and even sleeplessness. What have YOU used your sex toys to treat?