PW 404: Is he poly or just chicken?

89-Lolcats-FUNNY-EASTER-cat-WITH-CHICKEN-hat-DISGUISEDWhat do you do when the point of your vee isn’t communicating with your metamour?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

5:35 Topic: Is he poly or just chicken?

S writes in to ask what to do. She’s been dating a guy for five months who has another girlfriend of 10 months. But S has found that she wants to move in with the guy and be his primary, and he purports to secretly agree with her plans but hasn’t disclosed anything to the 10-month girlfriend. What to do? Does he really want to move forward with his polyamory with S or is he just using the 10-month girlfriend as an excuse to keep things on hold or secret until he sees how things shake out?

Minx recommends:

  • Insist on honestly for all parties involved It’s the rare relationship that can build a foundation on a lack of honesty. Currently she is the target, but what if there is something he’s afraid to discuss with you later on? There is no excuse for a lack of honesty.
  • Insist he own his shit The point of a vee has an additional duty to be aware of the needs of the two other parties, and he is failing at that. He really needs to own his shit, face it, and get honest with both you and her about what he is afraid of and what he really wants. Even if he doesn’t know what he wants, this conversation simply must happen with you, him and her.
  • You can be honest If he won’t talk to her, you can be the brave one. You can talk to her honestly about what you want, even if it seems confrontational. You can step up and have the integrity that he doesn’t have and tell her what you want for yourself, with the understanding that just because you want it doesn’t mean you’ll get it (and the same is true for her desires, but isn’t it better that you hear them directly from her?).

15:30 Happy Poly Moment

  • Rowan shares a happy poly moment about having the bravery to hear about a metamour she didn’t she she was brave enough to hear about
  • Kris shares a happy poly moment about a sectional couch!
  • Benny shares a happy poly moment about meeting his boyfriend’s wife

23:30 Thanks

Thanks to John for the fun $69 donation!

24:30 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 387: Is monogamy natural?

labkittenspolygene

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

2:00 Topic: Is monogamy natural?

Before we dive into this, what do you hope to accomplish or prove by answering this question? Do you want it to be true or untrue that human beings are naturally monogamous? Why does it matter to you, and how will it affect your behavior?

All the books I recommend are in the Poly Weekly Amazon Store under Polyamory Must Reads or For Sex Scholars.

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Diana shared a Happy Poly Moment about getting not just tolerance but active support within a relationship with differing approaches to polyamory.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

8 Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory

I’m here at Winter Wickedness for the first time and having a great time! Thanks to everyone who came out to this session today.

And this was also my first time presenting a shiny, brand-new class: Eight Things I Wish I’d Known About Polyamory (Before I Tried It and Fucked It Up). The full presentation is below:

And if you’re interested in having me present at your event, contact Minx at Poly Weekly

PW 361: How many partners is too many?

How do you know when you’ve hit polysaturation?

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements

7:00 Topic: should there be a limit on partners?

Listener Addie asked; you gave your advice on Facebook and Twitter. Is there a limit on partners? What should it be? How should it be determined?

  • When you run out of time/energy/bandwidth
  • When communication breaks down
  • When your partners stop feeling appreciated

Other markers:

  • When you/they aren’t emotionally satisfied
  • When you don’t recognize them at the grocery store
  • When you can’t remember their kids’ names
  • When you’re worn out and don’t have enough time for yourself
  • If you couldn’t fit them all into a D&D campaign, it’s too many

Personal examples:

  • Clara: Up to seven. For committed, romantic, generally two boyfriends, a girlfriend and a metamour with benefits
  • Misha: one per area code
  • Elizabeth: No more that six: two lovers and a pair of grown children, two close friends.
  • Hydro: Two to five. Ramp down Dunbar’s number into scaled tiers and you have similar. Core 2-5, first tier 10-15, 2nd say 30, and rest in the large gradient fade out of tier 3 to Dunbar’s 150-200.

22:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 352: Prostate pleasure and health

Everything you need to know about prostate pleasure and health (well, some of it, anyway)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
  • Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
  • Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

2:00 Interview: Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian talk about their new book, Prostate Pleasure and Health: why they wrote this book; that enjoying this wonderful pleasure doesn’t make you gay; how to prepare for prostate and anal play; and a ton of other stuff you never knew until now!

  • They met at Good Vibrations
  • Why do we need a book on prostate pleasure? There wasn’t one!

    Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

  • Key prostate advice: Stroke, don’t poke.
  • What is the prostate?  Part of the male reproductive anatomy that produces semen, and many men find that prostate massage creates a sensation similar to ejaculation.
  • Does prostate stimulation make you gay? No. Does it make you a bottom? No. It can be powerful to be fully present in your masculinity and enjoy receiving.
  • 13:00 Why is prostate stimulation so pleasurable? We’re not sure, but perhaps the autonomic nerves (involved in ejaculation) are being stimulated.
  • 18:30 Tip for anal penetration: relaxation, communication and lubrication!
  • The day I found my ass; The zen of anal play
  • 24:35 Does prostate massage have health benefits?
  • Twitter and Facebook

32:45 Happy Poly Moment

Some Guy in Bristol, England shares a texting moment that WOULD have gone awry, had he not been transparently poly!

34:15 Thanks

To Craig for his generous donation this week!

 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 351: Mono-poly with Mo

Tales of mono-poly ins and outs with Mollena Williams

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Note: we are still experiencing technical difficulties with posting episode 350. That file will post as soon as the issues are discerned and corrected. In the meantime, enjoy Mo!

1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
  • Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
  • Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

3:30 Interview: Mollena Williams on her mono-poly relationship

What worked—and didn’t—in Mollena’s last mono-poly D/s relationship. Lessons learned and insights from the trenches. Find her site at Mollena or as Mollena on FetLife and Facebook.

35:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 326: Negotiating poly and tantra

Buddha lolcatHow tantric practitioners negotiated non-monogamy

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

  • Upcoming gigs at Paradise, Polycamp NW and CatalystCon
  • Wanna go to Burning Man? We are raffling off a ticket in July as a fundraiser to send Minx to CatalystCon! For every $10 donation at http://www.polyweekly.com, you’ll get one raffle entry. On July 30, we’ll draw and announce the winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012!

3:30 Topic: Negotiating poly with tantra

South African correspondent Erich Viege recorded an interview with Shima and Andrew about teaching tantra while trying to negotiate non-monogamy.

15:00 Happy Poly Moment

Cindy shares a happy poly moment of friendships with metamours and poly going well after communication.

16:30 Thanks

Thanks to Adam for the $69 donation. Woo hoo!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Win a ticket to Burning Man 2012!

Go to Burning Man on us!

Do you like listening to dubstep 24 hours a day? Do you like rolling around in Playa dust? Do you like setting things on fire around naked people? Do you know to click stuff on the internet? Well, you’re in luck! One of our totally awesome listeners works for the org and has donated a ticket for Burning Man 2012 to be raffled off this month as a fundraiser for Poly Weekly!

How to enter

Entering is easy! To enter the raffle, click on the tip jar and make a donation of at least $10. Every $10 donation gets you one entry into the raffle. So $20 gets two entries, $30 gets three, and so on. Every donation of at least $10 between now and July 29th will be automatically entered, so this is a GREAT time to support the show!

Want to enter but can’t do a donation? No worries: just send an email to cunningminx@gmail.com with the subject line Enter Me, and you’ll be entered into the raffle for free! (One free entry per person.)

On July 30th we’ll be announcing one lucky winner of the ticket to Burning Man 2012. Woo hoo and Good luck!

Oh, and void where prohibited.

PW 314: Rituals and labels – what carries meaning?

An interview with Lee Harrington, spiritual and erotic educator and author, on where rituals and labels come from and what we need to know about their meaning

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 Announcements and Host chat

8:15 Interview: Lee Harrington on rituals and labels

Lee Harrington is a spiritual and erotic educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and published author and editor on human sexuality and spiritual experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens.

Harrington on the importance of recognizing that the label we use is rooted in our own experience and might not carry the same meaning for others in the community. Also, what is a ritual, what meaning does it carry and why are rituals important (or not)?

Latest book: Sacred Kink, the Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond

Listen to Lee at Erotic Awakening podcast

36:40 Host chat

A quick story on LustyGuy’s and Minx’s KinkFest experience.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 307: A Year of Sex

Mia Martina

A Year of Sex with the sultry Mia Martina

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 News and host chat

5:00 Mia Martina’s A Year of Sex

A yummy interview with the hot and sultry Mia Martina, host of the I Want Your Sex podcast and author of the memoir A Year of Sex, her foray into the world of New York sex clubs. The lovely and talented Mia shares:

  • Why podcast first and then the book
  • What chapters she got the most feedback on
  • If she would recommend the sex club path for someone getting over a bad breakup
  • Advice for those going to sex parties for the first time who don’t want to look like they’re going for the first time
  • 24:30 Sharing a sexy story

If you’re local to Austin, Texas, find her performance erotica troupe at Bedpost Confessions. Or follow Mia on Twitter.

30:50 Happy Poly Moment

  • Lisa from Boston shares a happy poly moment of her boyfriend using her girlfriend to make sure she stayed healthy
  • Shaun shares the story of his poly-unsure girlfriend starting to date

33:25 Feedback

Jane shares a happy poly story of being able to share the same bed with her partner.

35:00 Thanks

Thanks to Sean for his donation this week!

Wrap up


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Make a Donation

Poly Weekly Playmates!

Wanna play?
CatalystCon West '14

Poly Weekly on Facebook

Poly Weekly on Twitter