PW 296: Open relationship or poly?

What is the difference between an open relationship and a polyamorous one?

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:00 Host chat

  • We have new monthly subscriber donation options! Coffee buddies at $1.99/month, Friend with benefits at $4.99/month and Anchor at $9.99/month. Just choose a PW Playmate option to the right of this entry and hit the big yellow Subscribe button. >>>>>>>
  • Marvin is our first Anchor subscriber. W00t!
  • We’ve created a Poly Weekly Google+ page. Add us to your Circles for poly, geek and kinky updates.
  • Thanks to GaggleAmp promoters for reTweeting us last week!
  • Enough promotion! Geeks, beware: Cheezburger has launched a geek version of the site, Set Phasers to LOL (think LOLcats but with Star Trek) and more!

8:00 Topic: What is the difference between an open relationship and polyamory?

Thanks to listener Donner (?) for calling this one in. Both open relationships and polyamory are ways of practicing non-mongamy. The main difference is that an “open relationship” tends to assume a couple at the base, whereas “polyamorous” can describe both a lifestyle and a personal philosophy or orientation. I.e., I’m single and poly, but I couldn’t be single and in an open relationship. Additionally, polyamory tends to have “multiple long-term, committed relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved,” while open relationships are more loosely defined.

Also, while we’re at it, let’s define polygamy, polygyny, polyandry and polyfidelity! Franklin Veaux has a well-researched glossary of terms if you are ever in doubt.

17:00 Happy Poly Moment

Mark shares a happy poly moment at the birth of his child.

18:15 Feedback

  • Scott comments on changing the negative victim-minded behavior patterns mentioned in episode 293 and suggests theater and other subcultures for the football-loving poly guy
  • Kevin says thanks and asks about a Poly Weekly meetup at Burning Man in 2012 (yes if we can!)
  • Josh shares a lovely story of patience and communication and how it lead to a wonderful exploration of spanking and polyamory

25:45 Thanks

Thanks to Marvin and Sarah, our first PW Anchor monthly subscribers! We hope we can do you proud! And to Eric for his donation.

26:30 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 287: 10 Principles of Burning (Poly!) Man

Photo courtesy of BMIR.org

Photo courtesy of BMIR.org

Joe Zarate-Sanderlin shares his thoughts on how the 10 Principles of Burning Man really apply to polyamory

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:45 Announcements

5:00 Topic: 10 Principles of Burning Man, applied to polyamory

Guest cohost Joe Zarate-Sanderlin, a therapist, shares his thoughts with Minx at Burning Man and BMIR on how the 10 principles of Burning Man apply to poly

  1. Radical inclusion
  2. Gifting
  3. Decommodification
  4. Radical self-reliance
  5. Radical self-expression
  6. Communal effort
  7. Civic responsibility
  8. Leaving no trace
  9. Participation
  10. Immediacy

39:05 Feedback

  • Kudos for Poly Weekly for assuaging loneliness and isolation that come when first exploring polyamory.
  • Avery responds to “why get married” with a cost-benefit analysis prompted by a military situation.

47:50 Thanks

Thanks to Janke for the generous donation this week!

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment here. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 284: The passive-aggressive partner

What is “passive-aggressive” behavior and what is it good for?

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Introduction

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

1:30 Topic: What does it mean to be “passive-aggressive”?

Wikipedia gives the limited clinical definition, but Cecil Adams of the Straight Dope has a far more relative (yet researched) take. My own technical definition? “Any behavior in which you feel a strong negative emotion but instead of communicating it directly, you act weird instead.” This manifests in most of us at some point, and it’s incredibly annoying, useless and ultimately ineffective. Let’s just not do it, shall we?

16:00 Feedback

  • Brian likes episode on introverts, noting it’s nice to be understood in a primarily extroverted culture

18:20 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 275: Introverts vs. Extroverts

Living as and loving introverts

The care and feeding of introverts–and what it means to be one or have one as a partner or metamour

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Introduction and host chat

Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com

2:20 Poly Movie Review: Carrington

The PW Movie Reviewer Joreth gives a review of the 1995 movie Carrington. For more poly and poly-ish movie reviews, visit her movie review page.

8:15 Topic: Introverts vs. Extroverts

Our topic today is a rebroadcast from July 2007 and one of my favorite show topics–the care and feeding of introverts and how to both be one and deal with one in your poly relationship.

This article by Jonathan Rauch on the care and feeding of introverts was the subject of much discussion when I posted it here and to my own blog (the comments are a great discussion)

  • introverts can be seen as aloof or snobby
  • Rauch clarifies that introverts simply find other people tiring and suggests that introverts find a way to state that in social settings
  • even extroverts need time to recharge
  • Aiyume mentions on the Myers-Briggs scale
  • observations on introverts from the Poly 101 session on Poly for the Introvert in Austin, Texas
  • SweetAinsley comments that introverts and extroverts view conversations differently–extroverts focus more on flow and dislike pauses; introverts seek out pauses and don’t talk just to fill space
  • Badmagic comments that extroverts don’t necessarily “draw energy from other people” while introverts don’t, but rather it’s a spectrum of how much recharge time folks need; he suggests that introverts try just listening, but be warned people might overshare

Karen comments that introversion makes trying to find a job really difficult

27:40 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here or discuss your own topics at the forums. Check out PolyWeekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 272: The Monogamous Privilege Checklist

Did you ever wonder about all the things the poly-identified must deal with that the monogamous don’t? Cory and Kate did. And Cory made a list!

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Topic: Monogamous Privilege

Cory and Kate on the aggregated content: list of privileges that the monogamous-identified often take for granted. Roughly grouped by these themes:

  • Poly configurations are not represented in mainstream and therefore considered other
  • Monogamy is not considered a choice but poly is
  • People make assumptions regarding sexuality or abuse and anyone identifying as poly is asked to represent the entire group socially
  • Monogamy had inferred support for children and family

The East Portland blog’s post on Cory’s monogamous privilege checklist.

Feedback

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

PW 269: The Modern Poly Movement

Jessica Karels of Young Metro Poly

What’s up with the young modern poly movement: interview with Jessica Karels

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

  • Shoutout from Mako Allen of the new Big Little podcast on age play
  • Seeking pregnant poly women for cable documentary: IPA2Casting@sirensmedia.com – Call Poly Media Association before you go!
  • Casting company seeking “those who feel comfortable sharing personal and sexual details of their relationship lives—including their fears, secrets, unmet needs, and the ways in which they connect & disconnect in relationships.” Send name, age, occupation, brief bio, relationship goals, contact information to relationshipcasting2011@gmail.com (and call the Poly Media Association first!)

Interview: Jessica Karels of Modern Poly

Feedback

Raven wrote in regarding episode 266 on Charlie Sheen’s polyamory and another listener gave another insight to the reality show Sister Wives from the same episode

Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Top 10 reasons to go to ShibariCon 2011

shibaricon.comI love my email inbox some days! I just got an email from a kinkster considering attending his first ShibariCon. He asked me to convince him to come. Since this is one of my favorite cons that I’ve attended nearly every year since its inception, I’m happy to oblige. Wondering if it’s worth the trip? If you have any interest in kink, rope or shibari, it is!

Top 10 Reasons You Should Go to ShibariCon 2011:

  1. Chicago in May? Lovely!
  2. Bonus: trip to IML leather market, $2, for the best variety and best prices on leather gear all year.
  3. Got a costuming fetish? Dress up every day and night if you like!
  4. Midori. ‘Nuff said.
  5. Graydancer’s cabaret. Even if your whole day sucked, this will have you cheering.
  6. Rope twister!
  7. Hard points, hard points, hard points!
  8. Sadistic rope tops and hot submissive ass.
  9. Mollena’s Mojo. Every session she gives fills your brain and makes you laugh.
  10. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t!

Pimp my boobs!

Minx is very sad. Why? No holiday boobies. Make her happy by entering the Pimp My Boobs contest for 2011! Here’s how:

  1. Decorate your boobs in whatever way you think is the most festive.
  2. Take a picture.
  3. Send the pic to polyweekly@gmail.com before December 21.
  4. Listen to Poly Weekly and follow @polyweekly to hear the winner!

Poly Weekly 255: a Poly Vagabond

The vagabond life of a poly musician

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Introduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments; or discuss your own topics at the forums; or visit our Facebook page.

Announcements

Interview: Jason “Krivo” Flores, on the life of a traveling poly musician

  • Is a “poly traveling musician” redundant?
  • Getting into poly
  • More info on Vagabond Opera

Feedback

New vocabulary suggestions from Niko:

frubble – joy over your loved ones’ joy with others
grubble – sadness over your loved ones’ sadness with others
hubble – many getting physically affectionate when experiencing frubble.

Thanks to Earl, Paul and Ken Haslam for the donations!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music this week is courtesy of Vagabond Opera: Chimeras be Met and The Transformation into Marlene.

Poly Weekly 254: Is marriage out of style?

Kickin’ it back, old school with Graydancer of the Ropecast

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GraydancerIntroduction and host chat

Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

  • Welcome to our old-school cohost, Graydancer of the Ropecast
  • Thanks to our long-term forum administrator and moderator, Vrimj
  • Welcome to our new forum moderator, WhetStone
  • Thanks to Kotu for our new WordPress design–isn’t it pretty?
  • Don’t miss Poly Living Seattle Oct 22-24, 2010

Is marriage out of style and other poly questions

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

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