The new Polyamory Weekly #103: Being Poly and Single is up! Direct download is here.

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; I’ll be at The Leather Leadership Conference in Minneapolis at the end of April, so email me if you want to get together!

1:50 Thanks to contributors

2:50 Random quote of the week

3:20 News: Dr. Eric Keroack resigns!
It’s true! According to an article in Townhall News, “Dr.” Eric Keroack has officially resigned after Medicaid officials took action against him in Massachusetts. For more information on Mr. Keroack’s original stealth appointment, listen to PW episode 86.

6:00 Sponsor:!
On April 20th (4-20), $4.20 off all their hemp products!

7:00 Listener mail
Lon wrote in to say he’s been in a stable triad and that a key is to recognize that relationships change over time, and the participants must be flexible enough to adjust; he’s a therapist specializing in poly marriage in the Bay area–check him out at; 10:00 Colin comments that neighborhoods are talked about in terms of family in New Orleans; Mike asked for PW to be translated into Spanish–not gonna happen unless someone else does it; in Poly Weekly #102, we discussed the relationship dynamic that is separate from the people involved in it, and Wikipedia describes something similar to this as “collective effervescence”

14:15 Topic: Being Poly and Single
BlackFlame wrote in to ask about being poly and single, especially as a single man–how do you bring it up with people you date, and how do you keep from being that creepy guy?

28:00 Related
The PolyActive community is working on creating an OKCupid quiz that better reflects poly as a commitment, not the choice of monogamy vs commitment.

29:00 Topic: Steve Eley‘s poly story and flirt note
Steve tells his own poly story of how he and his wife have approached their relationship and a new connection energy; minx reveals abashedly that the “Miss M” he refers to is in fact the minx herself

38:30 Wrap-Up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.


Commenting area

  1. Rick Padgett April 5, 2007 at 9:29 pm · ·

    Steve Eley’s story was so moving… even before the surprise ending. Being “Poly-Mono” (Polyamorous but happily in a fantastic monogamous marriage) it was interesting to hear of someone in another type of “poly-but-not-poly” marriage.

    Thanks and strokes to the Minx.

  2. Minx, I already told you this privately, but I personally think this was your best episode ever. Especially because you were so transparent about your mixed feelings about posting Steve’s story. You and he both had the courage to put yourselves out there with that and make yourselves a little bit vulnerable, for good reason. Personally, I think that kind of willingness to share vulnerability judiciously draws a community closer. Well done!

    And thanks especially for covering the poly single angle. Please do that more! Right now, since I’m “poly-mostly-single” that theme really resonates with me. I’ll probably make my own contribution to the topic. But to start with, I’ve discussed it a bit here in this quasi-personal blog post:

    And, BTW, I need to send a note to Steve congratulating him on that excellent term “connection energy.” YES!!!! That *so* gets to the real heart of what most people in the poly community term “NRE.” I’m adopting his term from here out.

    – Amy Gahran

  3. I totally agree this was a very moving episode even before the end was revealed.

  4. Great episode! Thanks for poly but single aspect. Could you please keep us updated as to when OK Cupid’s info may be updated for those of us who are poly?? Finding sites that will ‘allow’ that is – well… annoying to say the least.

    Strokes to the Minx!

  5. Shy Jamie April 10, 2007 at 7:01 pm · ·

    On Keroac: Being a Brit I’m not totally sure what Medicaid is but there seems to be some talk of ethics and fraud?

    Great episode too. Love Steve’s story and it leaves me with one question – Do you do evenings of single malt and Doctor Who? Prefer ice cream and Doctor Who myself 🙂

    *strokes to the Minx*

  6. Since podcasts can normally be paused, fast forwarded and rewound, one normally does not have what the radio business calls a “driveway moment”. It’s an episode so compelling that when your car trip is complete you just sit there in the driveway or parking lot listening to the rest of it.

    I had such a moment with Steve’s story. It was beautiful.

  7. I’ve been catching up on a few episodes today. (Now that I commute to work on public transit I can listen to podcasts more often!)

    Just WOW! is what I have to say about Steve’s story. It was beautiful.

    And yay for you Minx!

  8. OMG.. I just got to this episode (I am listening to them all IN ORDER – not jumping from current and back). This story struck such a chord for me I started to cry at the ofc and had to get up and come home for lunch to cover my emotion. WOW… One day soon I will be totally caught up on the podcasts and then email you a really long letter about my life. For now I HAD to come home and say THX because this was personally significant for me, right at this time in my life.

    Multitudes of strokes and scritches, and tons of gratitude.

    Dark Blessings

  9. Cunning Minx November 14, 2008 at 2:57 pm · ·


    Wow. Thanks for sharing the emotional response. I’m still single and still fighting the battle (and Steve is a fantastic ex-boyfriend, so that really helps!)


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