The new Polyamory Weekly #118: Geeks in Love is up! Direct download is here.

Subscribe now with iTunes one-click!

Please Digg this podcast at Digg’s PW podcast page! And please vote for us daily through August 11th at the Podcast Awards in the Mature category!

0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments; welcome our co-host for today’s show, Steve Eley of the Escape Pod podcast; dorks versus geeks

4:30 Topic: What geeky tools do you use to create and maintain your poly relationships?
Far and beyond, the most popular geeky tool for maintaining poly relationships was Google Calendar. Alissa started with 30boxes, an Ajax-based calendar tool; Google calendar, however, allows tagging for entries (personal, sexual, work, volunteer, medical, etc.) and allows for sharing among as many people as you like according to those tags; for syncing issues, RatBastid suggests syncing to iCal and then Palm using and/or Spanning Sync to sync between Google calendar and iCal and Missing Link to sync iCal with his Palm

10:00 Organizing for geeks
Steve mentions Getting Things Done for geeks who aren’t organized to begin with; minx prefers Organizing from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern

13:30 More geek tools: ring tones, Steve’s heuristic, social media sites
GCalDaemon for syncing; TriSiren mentions that in addition to geek tools like IM and SMS, each lover has his/her own ring tone (hers is the Imperial March), but they also talk over their weekly Google calendars in person; Ohari shares how the family uses Google calendar; Steve shares his heuristic for social media sites: if we’re not hoping to work together or sleep together, please don’t ask me to join stuff; minx suggests using the tools that your friends/family use

18:00 More geek tools: yahoo groups, and the OhMiBod iPod vibrator!!

  • Anita Wagner says her family has its own Yahoo! Group
  • AirSet is recommended
  • webcams and video chats are essentials
  • IncrediMail is a mail program with stationery, 3D effects and cute images for customized love notes
  • Edwarddain also uses Foucauldian Theory
  • Farecast is great for cheap fares to your LDR
  • Can you believe there is a vibrator you can connect to your iPod?? OhMiBod has them–donate so minx can do some product-testing!!

24:40 Still more geek tools: Facebook, wikis, Skype
TOCityGuy mentions Facebook, LiveJournal (great for polling); don’t forget you can create a wiki for your family or group; Steve and minx discuss whether geek tools take the romance out of things (NO!); Skype is great for free phone calls (we watch Battlestar Galactica together over Skype as a video date!)

32:30 How to choose?
Ask people which media they prefer and listen to the answers; try different things and see which media work for you

34:25 Head minx
Steve points out one of the downfalls of technology: without more direct contact (video chat, phone, in person), the Head Minx (the minx in his head) takes over–and she’s more based on his own insecurities than on the person minx actually is. So he needs direct contact to “reset the Head Minx.”

38:30 Wrap-up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

This week’s outro and bumper music is Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton.

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.


Commenting area

  1. Listening to the latest podcast.

    I didn’t realize you were a Palm user too. We could’ve *really* geeked out. ;-D

  2. Oh, Minx, you get sooo many geek points for using Code Monkey as your segue music…

    I forgot, KJ and I use Skype and/or iChat (love that built-in iSight camera!), as do Lars and I when he’s travelling for work.

    Loved having lunch with you in Chicago! I’m finally getting around to friending your personal LJ account, so feel free to friend me back; my userid is quaryn_dk. *boobie-pressing-hugs*

  3. Oh, I’m glad you like! I wasn’t sure Code Monkey was 100% the best choice, but I love it so!

  4. Vir Modestus August 18, 2007 at 8:25 pm · ·

    I was so impressed I downloaded Skype and bought a web cam to do some of what you folks talked about. However, I can not see a way to “share the desktop” so one can watch the same video on both screens. You said you watch BSG together. How?


  5. Hi Vir,

    What Minx and I do to watch BSG together is a little more low-tech. We both have the same episodes on DVD, so we simply watch it on TV, taking care to synchronize our start and stop times, and then talk over it on Skype.

    I also once watched a movie with another sweetie by starting a video chat and pointing my Macbook Pro’s built-in camera at the TV screen. That didn’t make for ideal picture quality at all… But then again, the movie was _Orgazmo,_ so that doesn’t necessarily matter. 🙂

  6. Hi Minx, et al!
    Took me long enough to comment on this ‘cast, which I thoroughly enjoyed. One geeky communication avenue that I waited to see if anyone else would bring up is Linden Labs’ SECOND LIFE “game”. Through it, I’m in a loving Triad with my sweetie and her metamour, who I’ve also known via SL as a friend for some time. While the three of us are some distance apart (east coast for him, midwest for me, central-southern for her), while not a perfect solution for staying in touch, it allows us to have a “virtual” relationship while we’re all so far apart, and as an added “twist” to watching videos together, one can stream videos directly into the Second Life environment, so you and your sweetie and friends can “watch” a movie together even though we’re all several hundred miles apart.
    Adding in my kudos for using Code Monkey in the show. Loved it, and can relate to his plight.

Comments are now closed for this article.