The new Polyamory Weekly #144: is up! Direct download is at Poly Weekly #144

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the new FORUMS at

1:00 Announcements
Minx is freshly back, exhausted from Conflation

  • Poly Weekly Book Club meets Wednesday, February 27th at the Center on Halsted, 6:00-9:00 p.m.
  • Saturday, February 23rd in Madison at A Woman’s Touch: Negotiating Non-Monogamy as well as
  • March 19th at A Woman’s Touch in Milwaukee: Negotiating Non-Monogamy, $35, click here to register

Feedback3:50 Host Chat: Feeback is awesome!
Minx is enamored of Feedback, but just as a friend. It’s ‘cuz he’s an awesome swing dancer!! Please support his charities by going to his site and donating. My high point of the conference? Two minutes of swing dancing with Feedback!

9:10 Polyamory Roundtable: What Do You Wish Someone Had Told You When You Were New to Poly?
the most useful part of rules and guidelines is the process of making and changing them, not the rules themselves–they’ll change
17:50 be prepared for personal growth and to be a different person at the end of the process
24:50 everyone’s definitions of poly and everything else is different–define EVERYTHING
27:20 poly bingo cards from dotpolysnark
27:50 every problem in poly is the same as in mono, but you’ll get less help
30:50 assumptions about rules as relationship-killers in monogamy
32:50 one person is poly and the other goes along, but then makes rules to restrict every new love interest
36:50 must trust and give your partner the benefit of the doubt
37:50 be prepared to talk about EVERYTHING
40:35 how do you get through the finger of doubt?
42:35 have friends you can talk to about your partners
48:35 be able to ask for reassurance when you need it
52:10 be prepared to have enough self-esteem to say “I deserve better than this”
53:50 begin with self-honesty and self-esteem
54:45 all the talk in the world makes no difference if you aren’t willing to act and grow

57:55 Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”


Commenting area

  1. miss lisa March 10, 2008 at 6:08 pm · ·

    Brilliant, and incredibly helpful. I’m over a year into my first poly relationship and I intend to replay this one regularly. A breath of sanity, wisdom and reassurance.

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