Poly Weekly #167: Real people open up

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to www.scarleteen.com; friend me on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums at http://forum.polyweekly.com.

(This episode was a bit difficult to timecode.  People didn’t keep repeating their names so I wasn’t able to always tell who was who.  I did what I can.  -FS)

4:20 This weeks subject for the online book review.  “The Myth Of MOnogamy”

6:15 Minx starts by asking everybody if they have read the book.  Tom and Eros both participated in the discussion.

6:43 Minx asks, what things really grabbed them.  Eros commented on how specific the conversation needs to be on sex and love.

8:00 Minx points out that her and a previous partner had different ideas of what “sex” and “scening” was.  Communication would have brought this out.

9:10 Tom agrees and talks about his relationship and how his partner and him come from different backgrounds.

10:30 Tom and Minx discuss different meanings of “sex.”

12:10 Tom points out that he is mainly mono in his relationship from laziness!

12:48 Greg has also joined us from text.

13:00 Minx asks if any other revelations from the book.  Eros talks about the meaning of “polyamory”

14:50 (I think this is Tom) brings up when your partner ends up with somebody you don’t think they should be with.

16:30 Minx asks Tom how the book helped him in that scenario.

18:00 The discussion moves to dealing with your partners when they start to make mistakes and how to deal with them.

19:20 Minx quotes from the section of the book on the kind of people to look for and talks about it.

20:07 Eros thinks you have a responsbility to say something to your partner if they are making a mistake but don’t badger them.  He brings up an example in his own life.

22:00 (I am not sure who this is, Tom I think) talks about the unique experience of being poly where you might have to help your partner with comfort on the loss o a lover.

23:40 (I think Tom’s) wife loved the book.

24:20 Minx comments the section on sexual health and safer sex practices and how much she likes it.

27:00 it’s hot in chicago! 🙂

27:00 Minx brings up the chapter on common challenges and problems.  Eros references back to the interview with Tacit to talk about NRE (New RElationship Energy).

29:00 Minx talks about her opinion on NRE using some excerpts from the book.

31:09 Eros asks if there is a way to tell when the NRE falls off.

32:10 Minx brings up other common problems from this chapter and asks for opinions.

33:10 Eros brings up time management and the group disucsses this topic.

36:50 (Eros I think) brings up three different definitions of love from the book and Minx adds to this discussion.

39:35 Eros felt the book made sense to him.

40:18 Eros is working through fluid bonding issues which starts a discussion.

Thanks to Tom and Eros for working on the announcing themselves.


  • CPR for kinky people, Saturday, September 13, 2008, 10 am-6pm, Leather Archives & Museum, $90; Contact Descara: vdescara@yahoo.com
  • Meet and Greet, October 4th, Maryborough, Queensland, Australia

Online Book Discussion: Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up
Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email cunningminx@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions”


Commenting area

  1. What city is the CPR for kinky people class in?

  2. Cunning Minx August 12, 2008 at 9:26 am · ·


    Oh, sorry! It’s here in Chicago.

  3. Vixen & The Ox September 16, 2008 at 11:35 am · ·

    I am new to this, thank you so much for this episode. I am in I guess a V relationship with The Ox, my first and great love and former Fiance’ (Long story). I get this “Trust me Vixen, Jasymyn is okay with us. She “understands” our relationship with eachother – meaning sexual is there. We talk and are friends… ironically I am from Chicago and hope you are not underwater right now. Your advice and your past pod casts are such a treasure to understand this newness into this realm.


  4. oops, meant for this on the “Okay” is a four letter word page. Sigh, trying to figure out my hubby’s computer.

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