Thoughts on marriage as a conscious relationship and lifestyle choice rather than the default or the result of peer pressure

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Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:20 News and host chat

3:10 Topic: Marriage as a conscious choice

A recent Huffington Post personal essay questioning marriage as peer pressure in the 20-30 age range as well as:

  • The possibility that even with a lot of love and communication, it might not be enough and the marriage might need to end
  • The groupthink that marriage is hard but always worth it
  • The lack of alternative relationship choices
  • Marriage as the default rather than a custom option

20:20 Feedback on episode 316 Queer as a verb

  • Alyssa writes in to say โ€œSometimes the radical, panties-in-a-bunch, queers need to chill the fuck out, and what better way to chill out than to realize that something you revolve your life around isnโ€™t a big deal to EVERYONE!โ€
  • Vir writes in to say that Iโ€™ve queered my relationship and my sex life (through kink/fetishes)

24:10 Thanks

Thanks to Meg for the donation this week!


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? ๐Ÿ™‚ Check out PolyWeekly at Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


Commenting area

  1. I chose to get married for legal reasons. We planned to have a baby. I am financially dependent on my husband. Stuff like that. We wrote our own vows. The ceremony was about half traditional, half fun and silly. It was an excuse for a party, of course. It was held at a science fiction convention. Our friend performed the ceremony for us. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. My wife and I were effectively married years before we made it legal, with the legal part being for the many societal/legal benefits. We got married at the sheriff’s department, then had a big party with our bio and poly family. Monogamy was NOT part of our expectation going into the marriage, just the desire to continue building a life together.

  3. Cunning Minx May 12, 2012 at 11:59 am · ·


    LOVE ceremonies at sci-fi conventions! Very geeky. Eli, what a great story. I love that both you and Terri mention that the ceremony was an excuse for a party and that the deliberation about the marriage was separate from the party aspect. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. ernestine November 8, 2015 at 1:16 pm · ·

    Hello! it is very prejudicial to not include polyamory as a viable relationship choice. If OKC had used any of the examples above, the community would be up in arms about it. By the way the best paper writing service that I saw:

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