If you're a busy professional woman, how do you make time to date and form more than one relationship?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

Congrats to friend of Poly Weekly and queer, kinky poly grrl Pretty Ribbons on getting a book publishing deal from her blog!

2:45 Topic: Poly professional woman (rebroadcast)

A listener writes in to ask how a full-time woman who puts her career first and still handles the home responsibilities can find dating anything other than exhausting. Also, what to do when your partner has more free time and energy to date, causing dating envy.

  • First, sympathy—I work for a startup and have also made work my priority, so it is very hard to find energy to date after putting all your passion into your work.
  • Second, evaluate your priorities. Do a goal-setting session using Your Best Year Yet to establish your priorities for the next 12 months. If dating isn’t that valuable to you and doesn’t make the list, treat it like any other type of jealousy and act accordingly. If it is, try making 1-hour lunch date “chemistry tests” or make weekly OKCupid online vetting nights (with wine and a girlfriend!) to get started.
  • Third, take immediate action. It sounds like the chore split was created when you had more free time, so redistribute household chores to give you more time and energy for self-care and other essential/fun priorities.
  • Finally, it might be helpful to listen to the episodes on introverts and on jealousy.
  • And bonus: “sleep is the new sex” It’s the ultimate luxury and vice; treat it as a precious resource!

18:30 Feedback

Gabriel writes in to ask if there are any children’s books to introduce poly to kids—anyone know of one or want to take on the task?


Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


Commenting area

  1. It’s a bit abstract, but I was remembering this book I used to love as a kid–“Mango Hill” by Diana Hansen-Young, about an artistic mouse who adopts young cats, teaches them to paint and not eat her, and founds a sort of female painters’ cooperative/non-traditional family unit. My mom commented that this must have been the origin of my fascination with non-traditional relationship models. 😉

  2. The Cliffhuckers November 9, 2012 at 8:32 pm · ·

    Hi Minx,

    After listening to your recent podcast about the poly professional woman, my boyfriend and I were discussing our okcupid profiles and activities. It is important to both of us that we share our explorations with other partners and that they build our relationship rather than take away from it. We were feeling that, although we enjoyed our flirtations with others over the internet and were hoping they would lead to some new friends and/or lovers which we could share, the time spent on okcupid also felt distracting, somewhat meaningless and a little disconnecting (from each other). We then remembered what you shared about your experience with okcupid and how you made your time productive, fun and controlled (not distracting you all week long). We remembered that you shared that time with a friend and some wine at a designated time every week.

    Thanks to your idea, we have decided to pick a time – 30-60 minutes a week – that we can sit down together (maybe with a drink and some music) with our computers and explore okcupid side-by-side, cruisin the guys and girls, sharing our comments, attractions and fantasies, sending out flirtations, etc… We both feel great about this decision. It gets rid of the constant distraction (by designating a specific time), makes it something fun we can share, and supports that sexy edgy connection that enjoy having as a part of our relationship.

    Thank you for the idea. And thanks for all the great explorations you are throwing out there with you podcasts!

  3. A good fictional book that introduces polyamory, homosexuality etc that would be suitable for teenagers & young adults is by Maria Pallotta Chiarolli called “Love You Two”

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