A biased review of psychologist John Gottman’s research on relationships

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Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

Dr. John Gottman with his wife Julie

1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

9:40 Topic: The world according to John Gottman

John Gottman is a professor of psychology famous for his work on evaluating marital stability through direct observational data points.

  • Famous for being able to predict whether a couple will stay together (which he refutes, but he can compare data and give odds of success). For example, if more than 20% of your interactions with your partner are negative, it’s likely that something needs to be addressed in order to increase relationship longevity
  • Microexpressions Also famously researched microexpressions
  • Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Accessible research Great marketer and beneficial for taking his research and making the data accessible to the public
  • Challenge: his data isn’t replicable outside his experiments
  • Making bids for connection Recent Business Week article on couples making and accepting bids for connection being a top trait of successful relationships
  • Anger research Master versus disaster model, in which masters use anger to demo emotional importance rather than using it to express contempt. He posits that even healthy couples fight and get angry and that anger is functional in marriage.
  • But be aware that Gottman’s work focuses on monogamy and heterosexual couples only and is not a proponent of polyamory.

30:00 Happy Poly Moment

Clare from London writes in to share her discovery of polyamory, her self-identify as poly and her hopes of applying it to her new relationship.

35:10 Thanks

Thanks to Taylor and Igor for their donations and welcome Doug as the newest Poly Weekly Playmate!

36:00 Wrap Up

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