The new Polyamory Weekly #94: Emotional Intelligence is up! Direct download is here.

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0:00 Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to

1:20 Announcements
Polyamory Weekly may be sporadic over the next few months due to some issues in the family; check out minx’ reading of Kay Kenyon’s story, The Acid Test, on Escape Pod

3:10 Listener Mail
Bill Beattie is “chuffed” that we liked his article on jealousy; J from England rants about Erik Kerouak and how the U.S. is doomed (yeah, we know); a propos of Kerouak, Tyler wrote in to share a link to Kerouak’s actual slide presentation on Oxytocin; 6:20 A wrote in even though she’s not poly, but her boyfriend recently shared a threesome fantasy and realized that, because they are monogamous, it was important to be receptive to her partner’s fantasy; she also asked about vees and triads are formed; K wrote in to ask about jealousy with respect to disabilities–how does one deal with being jealous about the good physical health and activity level of a partner’s partners when one is limited by a disability; minx asks for suggestions but also mentions coming to terms with the limitations personally first, independent of a partner

18:10 Topic: Emotional Intelligence
Steve Hein created “The Ten Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People,” including that high EQ peopl

  1. Label their feelings, rather than labeling people or situations
  2. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings
  3. Take responsibility for their feelings
  4. Use their feelings to help them make decisions
  5. Show respect for other people’s feelings
  6. Feel energized, not angry
  7. Value other people’s feelings
  8. Practice getting a positive value from their negative emotions
  9. Don’t avise, command, criticize, control or lecture to aothers
  10. Avoid people who invalidate them or don’t respect their feelings

22:35 Poly in the Media
Yeah, Michigan really has a law criminalizing adultery as Criminal Sexual Misconduct; this article on commitment, sexuality and polyamory has good profiles of a variety of poly families; and interestingly enough, sexual liberation is taking the form of swinging in China

27:40 Wrap-Up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? 🙂 Check out PolyWeekly at Thanks for listening!

If you like the intro music, check out Pacemaker Jane, a cool band out of Ohio.


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