DVD Review: Big Gulps 2

Big Gulps 2This and other DVDs are available at AdamandEve.com. Use coupon code Minx for 50% off just about any item!

Big Gulps 2 was our more traditional selection for Brownies and Porn last weekend, and it universally got the “fail” rating. General consensus: unless you’re really, really, really, really into nothing but POV blow jobs with no real money shots, you’ll probably find this lame and boring.

In my opinion, if something is called “Big Gulps,” there should be some gulping going on. Most of the come shots didn’t even have any come, or at best just a dribble. What, did they shoot this after all the real porn orgy scenes were done for the day with the dregs that were left over? Sheesh! Show me the money!

Universally, the room of about 10 people all hated when the girls looked at the camera and when they spit on the cock. Why, oh, why do these conventions persist?

A few things we did like:

  • The man in the second clip (with Marquetta) was a bit more controlling; he’d slap the back of her head and force her to gag on his cock a bit. The audience was divided on the choking sounds (some liked, some didn’t), but we all liked his taking charge, giving the scene a bit more of a power dynamic.
  • Vanilla Sky in the fourth clip. She came across as a real girl, not yet bleached blond, even showing a bit of fat and cellulite, with fake but not ginormous boobs. Truly, her best selling point is her sincerity; she seems to be new enough to the industry to enjoy it—she doesn’t give head like a porn star but with genuine interest. Plus, it helped that he would grab her head and slap her boobs around!
  • Mika in the sixth clip, a cute Asian with an interesting around-the-world technique and a strong, two-fingered kung-fu grip. And she’s not adverse to a little penis-beating on the face, which some folks liked.

More we didn’t like:

  • The cheap Wal-Mart lingerie
  • The standard floor crawl for every girl
  • Looking at the camera
  • Spitting
  • Guys wearing gym shoes with socks

DVD Reviews: Pornomation

Pornomation from AdamEve.comThis and other DVDs are available at AdamandEve.com. Use coupon code Minx for 50% off just about any item!

For last weekend’s special Brownies and Porn in Saint Louis, I wanted to try something a bit different. I figured there would be a good quota of sci-fi geeks there, and I was just really curious about XXX sci-fi fantasy porn. What would it be like?

The Pornomation DVD is split into two sections (swear to god, I seriously typed that “sexions” first!), Animations and Visitations. Animations is a series of roughly five-minute 3D animated clips, and Visitations is a collection of fantasy art set to music (quite artistically, really).

Comments from Brownies and Porn audience:

  • “She should get 2D8 damage” (said of a real woman sucking an animated cock the size of my entire torso)
  • who knew that one of the benefits of two women fucking a hobbit was that one of them could pick it up and use him to fuck the other woman?
  • Is it enviroporn if the hobbit becomes a tree after orgasm?
  • (for the short “Abduction”) Those five extra tentacles come in really handy for prying her pussy open, don’t they?
  • Even animated, porn stars shouldn’t be allowed to talk
  • (For the short “Passage”) the Valkyrie’s wings come in really handy for cunnilingus–the guy can remain standing, and she can just hover at mouth level! Now THAT’s a useful fantasy!
  • (For the short “The Groupies”) “Those just remind me of the California raisins” (if the California raisins were penises)

The Stimulations sections provided a huge variety of fantasy sex for all tastes–and I mean all tastes. Yup, some things this little girl never imagined showed up, including rock and tree porn, dinosaurs, self cunnilingus, Gulliver’s travels (yes, tiny women crawling on a giant man), mermaids, fucking the ocean, dolphin porn, a toothy crocodile eating a woman out, satyrs, equine cunnilingus, fantasy interspecies erotica, fairies, minotaurs, harpies, fangs, a skull with a penis tongue and a skeleton strapping on a live cock and fucking an anatomically perfect chick and dual and barbed barbed cocks. Oh, yes, a little something for everyone! I think we’ve found the DVD that makes Minx feel tame!

Review: Hot Properties adult DVD

Oh, my life is so rough, isn’t it? Must spend another lunch hour reviewing gay porn. This week’s DVD was Hot Properties, full of steamy men in great shape doing their realtors and clients. Oh, my!

For a special discount on this or almost any other item at AdamEve.com, use coupon checkout code Minx.

The DVD is chock-full of yummy gay goodness, with five scenes, all set in realty offices or hot properties for sale (with hot and willing owners, of course!):

Scene 1: Soap it up in the shower
The action starts right up with no preliminaries; we dive right in to one hottie feeling up another through his boxers (mmm; how come the guys I date don’t have washboard abs like that?) and then hopping into the shower to trade off kisses and oral sex. An added bit of titillation: a third guy overhears them and starts his own party in the hallway; his voyeuristic view of them through the doorway is beautifully framed so that we see all three hunks in their full glory. The juicy double money shot is at 22:45, BTW, first on a hairy chest, then on a shaven one and finally with our voyeur spilling his load on himself. Delicious!

24:30 Scene 2: Roommate problems
Ooh context! This hottie looking to buy a hot condo because of “roommate problems” consults a realtor… and they run into Naked Hottie Homeowner just out of the shower! Our troubled renter decides to take another look at the condo sans realtor and sans clothing–just two delicious hardbodies, two nipple rings, one pierced scrotum and many lustful glances. By the end, they are positively glistening with sweat as they pound, kiss and tease each other.

Scene 3: Why let a good spiral staircase go to waste?
This scene has a inordinate amount of establishing shots–nearly six minutes of the client and realtor crossing the GG bridge and driving to a more rural property, including them walking up a stream.
45:00 Finally, we get to the action! What’s with all the plot and establishing shots? Happily, shirts come off on the rural home’s elegant spiral staircase. We are finally rewarded for watching all that background with lots of kissing, licking and gorgeous black muscled booty. Yeah, force his head onto your big black cock while you grab onto the stair rail!


Anyway, if you love muscular black men wearing nothing but boots, you’ll love this scene. And the final jerk off is beautifully lit and framed: over the staircase’s architectural railing, the two smooth, muscular bodies shine and gleam as they shoot off the staircase into the landing below.

1:02:30 Scene 4: Hot at the office
We’re back at the Hot Properties office as a young latino client wanders in. It only takes a quick, “you’re a very handsome guy” from the realtor, for the latino in town from New York begins to unbotton his shirt and reveal his wifebeater, tribal tattoo and luscious member. Something about the clean-cut, blond gay realtor going down on the tattooed latino was just yummy, and the scene plays out right there on the desk–perfect for inspiring work/office fantasies, right down to taking a phone call while being pounded in the ass!

1:20:15 Scene 5: I’m your handyman
Well, wasn’t it nice to give us a handyman scene, complete with tool belt and unzipped jeans? This time, the realtor and client interrupt two carpenters in flagrante deliecto, so what else is there to do but for each one to grab a carpetner for himself? Now, that’s my kind of renovation! Two mouths on two cocks, then fucking on the ladder and a foursome in between the studs! And four guys means four come shots; a special treat!

Review: Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage

Yes, adult product reviews are BACK, along with our sponsor, AdamEve.com (and a special discount with coupon checkout code “Minx”)!

Can’t afford to go out in this economy? Cheaper to stay in and have some good, old-fashioned carnal fun. If you’ve been wanting to try bondage, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Erotic Bondage is a great place to start. First, Nina just rocks–she’s a talented and respected educator who isn’t just making videos for a quick buck; she’s genuinely part of the kink scene.

Also, she looks great in black latex.

The DVD breaks down into three main sections with a postlude. The first 18 minutes are the bondage discussion, in which Nina and the lovely Carmen Luvana (hot blond from the cover) talk about what you need to know and discuss before you dive into tying up your loved one. They cover the “why” of bondage–remember how much fun it was to play Cowboys and Indians when you were kids? Or Pirate Ship? The thrill of the chase and capture can be a lot of fun. And then Nina walks us through the negotiation process in detail, covering basic trust, past issues that might come up, physical limitations, and the nature of consent. As Nina points out, “consent is a continually renewing contract that doesn’t stop the first time someone says yes.”

Next, the lovely ladies cover safety, including the availability and use of safety shears and the use of common safewords such as green, yellow and red. Next up is basic principles of anatomy–tie wrists first, not ankles, what to tie them to, what to do when they struggle. In short, a pretty fun yet educational discussion.

DON’T SKIP THAT PART! The opening discussion is a great place to start and will make the porn much more fun to watch after!

Demo 1: Nina Hartley restrains Randy Spears
This segment starts about 18 minutes in and is delightful if you’re a woman looking to restrain your man. Nina starts with a sensible and sexy negotiation on the bed before slapping Randy in restraints and teasing him with her ass, hands, feet and mouth. (BTW, I love how Nina giggles, with a gleeful “hee HEE!”) Next, she walks through anal prep and penetration on herself. Man, is it nice to see a woman enjoying anal sex!

Demo 2: Nina and Carmen Luvana with Tommy Gunn
This segment begins about 50 minutes in. The cute bombshell Carmen Luvana, clad elegantly in powder-blue latex, cuffs on herself; then Tommy shows up to collar her. I have to say that the white shoes, cuffs, collar and flogger weren’t appealing to me; call me old-fashioned, but I like basic black. Still, the scene could be great for beginners who want to look cute in bondage. The best scene by far was with Carmen’s hands tightly harnessed behind her as she went down on Tommy (and he seemed to enjoy it, too!) And Carmen is just adorable when she occasionally exclaims in Spanish; co cute!

The video closes with a postlude–a reminder to focus on consent, communication and safety first. As Nina says, “the quality of your experience will be determined by the honesty and intimacy of your relationship”–so communicate first for hotter, kinky sex!

Review: Inflatable Hot Seat

Seeing as I’m in a state of multidating singlehood, this little present from AdamEve.com seemed to be the best toy for practicing my on-top ride for the next strapping young man to come along.

Inflatable Hot Seat

The Hot Seat is billed as a “ride to the best orgasm ever on this 7” vibrating dong mounted on a velvety inflatable cushion! Firm jelly dong has multiple speeds, and the cushion features E-Z Grip handles so you control the strokes, fast or slow. Black. Holds up to 300 lbs. and uses 2 AA batteries.”

The hot seat is quite study indeed, and I’ve no doubt it would easily support 300 pounds. And the inflation aspect means it’s easy to store, which is a plus. Personally, I nearly passed out blowing the thing up, but perhaps that means I need to work on my own stamina! And then there was the mad scramble to find AA batteries that weren’t otherwise employed. (I ended up liberating a set from one of my lesser-used vibrators.)

At first test, the dong was… ahem… just too big and too hard for me. I worked my way up to it with smaller vibrators first, used a little lube, and then slid it in. Still, my ever-sensitive lips found the unyielding hard plastic a bit too tough to be comfortable. Yes, ladies, a cock apparently can be too hard! However, I did have a lovely time playing with different positions and found a lovely one (kneeling on left knee, right foot on bed with knee bent) that my g-spot liked almost as much as a real cock! If you lack endurance on top and want a workout, this is a good toy for you.

Sturdy, easy to store, nice vibration control, great for playing with g-spot control from a superior position

The lovely black fabric tends to collect cat hair and, in my place anyway, would require constant cleaning. The cock is one-size-fits-all, and a bit large at that; the hard plastic can make it uncomfortable and distract from an otherwise pleasant experience. It’s not detachable, so it’s rather hard to clean.

Want this or any of thousands of items at AdamEve.com for 50% off? Visit AdamEve.com with code “Minx” for your Poly Weekly discount!

Review: The Liberator Wedge

Hey, there!

Well, I’ve been remiss to our fantastic sponsor, AdamEve.com, by not reviewing the fantastic sex toys and goodies they sent more promptly! But trust me, my friends have had a lot of fun product-testing this one for me! Indeed, couples were lined up down the street.

The basics:

Wedge The Wedge is billed as “the sex bed” you’ve always dreamed of” and “great for G-spot action!” And the idea is pretty simple: raise the luscious booty of your sweetie to allow for easier and deeper vaginal and anal penetration without straining the lower back or thighs of the, um, thrustee.

My question was primarily, “Is this any better than a pillow?” Well, in a few ways, yes. The foam is denser than a pillow’s, so it gives firmer support and won’t collapse under your body weight. And the removable cover is washable nylon, so you don’t have to worry as much about all that sticky Astroglide or Liquid Silk soaking into the cushion and funking up your favorite sex pillow. For a neat freak like me, washability of just about anything I own is a very big deal. Score one in that category!

Our product testers (yes, it’s a rough life!) said:

WedgeThe best thing about The Wedge is that it makes you want to brainstorm different ways of using it. In the end, I suspect many of the positions we found for it could also be achieved with an ordinary fluffy pillow or two, but there is no denying that The Wedge makes for some very comfortable missionary and doggie sex, with plenty of room for hands around the clit.

Indeed. Actually, the Wedge does come with a full-color booklet of different positions to try, so when the package arrives in the mail, you don’t even have to rely on your own creativity or fall back onto your favorite positions. Heck, why not try everything listed in the brochure, just to make super-sure you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 🙂 There might even be a few options in there that might just be a tad easier with the extra foamy support!

Click here for full photo, product description and shipping information.

Make a Donation

Poly Weekly Playmates!

Wanna play?
CatalystCon West '15

Poly Weekly on Facebook

Poly Weekly on Twitter