PW 380: Advice from your secondary

42-lolcat-funny-images-of-cats-with-toy-roboA few things your secondary wants you to know

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1:00 Announcements and HostChat

Want better poly matches on OKCupid? Be sure to answer these poly-indicative questions!

4:30 Topic: Five things your poly secondary wants you to know

Blogger Ginger wrote up a short but sweet post on five things your secondary wants you to know: (paraphrased by Minx)

  • The time we spent together is limited, so please value it like we do
  • We sometimes need extra reassurance; this is normal
  • You still need to be reliable
  • It’s important that your primary partner be comfortable with us
  • The fact that we love and value you keeps us going

Listener GreedyPaul called in to ask what changed in terms of metamour relations between Minx’s last long-term poly relationship and this one? What did L do to welcome me into the relationship and/or how had I changed?

Amanda wrote in to share a story of metamour relations: while she’d always believed that it was the new partner’s job to reach out to her, she came to understand how scary that can be for a new partner, so she chose to step up and reach out, with wonderful results!

20:45 Feedback

E wrote in to thank us for covering Asperger’s and poly and how very valuable the clear and explicit communication required in poly is to those with Aspy’s.

23:30 Happy Poly Moment

Heath shared a professional happy poly moment about bringing up relationship structure inclusiveness for intake at his college counseling center in the Kansas City area. AND if you have examples of the language you use in your paperwork for assessing relationship orientation, email him at heath12@ku.edu Thanks!

26:00 Thanks!

Thanks to Steven, Kevin, Elizabeth, Ewen, Violet and Sturley for their generous donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 346: Poly and Asperger’s

Can Aspies be polyamorous? Can polyamory aid a person with Asperger’s?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • LustyGuy, L and I did our goal-setting for 2013. Lots of fun with Your Best Year Yet!
  • The North Texas Poly Group shares the following new vocab terms:
    • CONFRUBBLED: Confused but happy about it. “I don’t know whose hands those are, but they are doing a great job!”
    • FROXY: The pleasure one gets from working up a metamour in anticipation of your sweetheart doing very bad things to them. Like compersion, but sexy and just a tiny bit mean. The enjoyment one gets from participating in alloerotic narratophilia.
    • OUTLAWS: The parents of your socially-illicit life partner. “We went to go have dinner with the outlaws Sunday evening. They love playing with our kids so much, they’ve nearly adopted the boys as grandbabies already!”
    • 5:10 Miss Poly Manners on (defining one’s own behavior) versus rules (restricting someone else’s behavior) versus agreement (two+ people agree to after discussing boundaries and expectations)

11:05 Topic: Poly and Asperger’s

A listener asks: can you be poly with Asperger’s? Does it help?

21:00 Happy Poly Moments

  • Kit shares a snuggly happy poly moment
  • Jamie shares a great story of a frubbly weekend by which a partner got to spend more time with her daughter over the holidays due to their poly relationship
  • Bruce shared the simple pleasure of a wine-tasting with his girlfriend and metamour

24:00 Feedback

  • A listener calls in to ask about dealing with jealousy when in the “s” part of a D/s relationship. Poly and kink overlap, but not all kinksters make the effort to do poly well. Want your kinky poly relationship to succeed? Read Raven Kaldera’s Power Circuits and apply his wisdom!
  • What’s NRE in Norwegian? Forelsket!

29:25 Thank you

Thanks to Candice for her donation this month!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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