PW 389: Intro to kink with MOLLENA!

Mollena WilliamsHow do you safely explore kink on the scene and find partners to play with? Mollena Williams, co-author of Playing Well With Others, tells all!

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1:00 Announcements and Host Chat

11:15 Topic: How do you safely explore the kink community?

Listener Miz B wrote in to ask how to safely explore the kink community: exploring interest, finding a dominant partner, and telling the current partner about the kink activities.

Enter the fabulous Mollena, co-author of Playing Well with Others, a book that explains the anatomy of the kink community and gives advice on what to expect for fun and safety.

46:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 367: A day in the life of a pro domme and sub

Remedy

A peek behind the curtain of a New York pro domme and submissive

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1:00 Host chat

  • Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert are writing a book! Help fund their Indiegogo campaign to write it!
  • Check out the awesome new Beyond the Love conference, November 15-17 in Columbus, Ohio. Educational sessions, social events like poly speed dating and poly prom and the attendee-directed poly summit!
  • I’m presenting at CatalystCon on how to be a part-time sex educator Sept 27-29

7:45 Interview: Cheyenne Picardo, producer of Remedy

Cheyenne Picardo chats about her indie film Remedy, a semi-autobiographical tale of her experiences being a pro domme and pro submissive at a house in New York City. I saw it at the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival this year; the next showing is at Berlin Porn Film Festival. If you want to help cover licensing fees so Cheyenne can show the film more broadly, click here.

38:00 Happy Poly Moment

J tells the story of his girlfriend’s first poly experience and exploring her guilt about telling him about it as well as his joy that she did!

41:00  Feedback

Taking you out with the poem from IW called Thinning Locks

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 364: I’m in love and got vetoed!

What to do when your relationship is vetoed AFTER you fell in love

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1:00 Host chat

Showtime poly series starts a new season

Now we’re “stuck” with non traditional marriage

10:30 Topic: I’m in love but just got vetoed!

L writes in for advice. What do you do when you trust that the couple really is poly and end up falling in love with the guy, only to have his wife veto you a bit later when she breaks up with her own boyfriend?

  • This sucks and is unfair and unkind.
  • Lying about the nature of your relationship isn’t healthy.
  • Expecting him to leave her isn’t terribly healthy, either.
  • Accept and grieve the loss. Value yourself and the experience.
  • Next time, vet the couple to be sure each person is stable, fully embraces polyamory and is personally secure.

22:35 Happy Poly Moment

  • B in Seattle shares a Happy Poly Moment. British comedies FTW!
  • Cate shares a beautiful story of a metamour leaving a footprint of food and love. Want to win a metamour of the year award? Be a Hot Dish Elf!

26:00 Feedback

32:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 363: New to poly; same old drama

How does a poly and kink newbie handle dating a monogamous submissive?

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1:00 Host chat

LustyGuy cohosts! And for some reason, we start talking about anal dildos.

2:00 Topic: I’m new to poly and kink and trying to date a monogamous partner covertly

Jason writes in to ask advice. He’s new to both poly and kink. He’s in love with a new married partner who identifies as monogamous, sees him without her husband’s consent and claims to no longer love her husband.

Minx mentions NLE = New Lifestyle Energy. The pull and power of the first poly and/or kink relationship can be exhilarating and overwhelming… and can lead to some bad decisions.

19:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 362: The Killer Wore Leather

Chatting with Laura Antoniou, author of the new tongue-in-cheek murder mystery novel set at a BDSM convention

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1:00 Announcements

In the U.S., celebrating the overturn of the Defense of Marriage Act. Now if gays are married in the nine legal states, the federal government must also recognize the union with the same rights accorded to straight couples.

3:55 Interview: Laura Antoniou

Laura Antoniou on her new murder mystery novel set at a BDSM convention, The Killer Wore Leather.

33:50 Thanks

Thanks to Dave for his donation this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 347: How being kinky prepared me to be poly

How does BDSM prepare one for polyamory? Lily Lloyd explains.

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Heading out to hit the Portland strip clubs for my birthday; will report back next week!

2:00 Topic: How being kinky prepared me to be poly

Lily Lloyd, guest poster on kink on the SoloPoly blog,and author of the Black Leather Belt blog and the Black Leather Belt book, shares insights on best practices for kink that serve poly well:

  1. Frank and ongoing discussions about sex (before it’s a problem)
  2. The practice of aftercare: dealing with unexpected, strong emotional reactions while staying calm and staying until the partner is okay
  3. “Equal” isn’t necessarily fair. In kink, it’s assumed that everyone will have different tastes, kinks and limits, and reciprocity isn’t assumed or necessary.

27:00 Feedback: Episode 344 Consent Is Sexy

  • Week BiWeek felt the casual tone LustyGuy and I took for the Consent Is Sexy episode was inappropriate to the seriousness of the topic.
  • Edward, a self-named ” 55-yo, cigar smoking, martini-drinking, Republican-voting, $5,000 suit wearing Wall Streeter and military consultant,” writes in to say that sleep sex is never appropriate without consent and also that hearing a verbal affirmation that a woman wants him is indeed sexy
  • Vir writes in to say that Alyssa’s original article was indeed a rape apology: “I think that what she did in her article was make excuses for rape. She did call him a rapist and she did convince him that he was a rapist. But because he was a friend, she didn’t want it to be all his fault and so she tried to blame the wider community for not training men better not to rape. That right there is aiding and abetting ‘rape culture’ if not, strictly, engaging in ‘rape apology.’”
  • Amos is a new listener who finds that the advice on the podcast applies to those outside poly as well.

40:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

PW 342: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over the loss of an intense relationship, like a D/s one?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

  • Minx and LustyGuy got back from vacation… sick as dogs.
  • PW friend J.R. Blackwell, an amazing photographer, is looking to photograph a poly wedding! See Blackwell's work here and get HALF OFF to the first poly group that engages her!

4:35 Topic: Getting over your Dom

How do you get over your Dom after an intense relationship and a rough breakup? Some advice:

  • This just sucks, kinky or not. Allow yourself to grieve the loss.
  • You'll get through this. And you'll be better for it.
  • Seek out a poly/kinky support network for this and other issues. Being isolated makes a breakup even harder.
  • Find a poly/kinky-friendly therapist in your area to have someone professional to talk to. I did this, and it helped make the year after a difficult breakup much better.

16:30 Feedback

Lee asks for advice on losing a poly relationship and going from a poly family of three to just a couple of two.

19:00 Happy Poly Moment

Herbalwise shares a happy poly moment.

22:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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PW 335: The Taormino kink advice line

Tristan Taormino answers your questions about kink in a poly context

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1:00 News and host chat

  • CatalystCon was amazing! The highlight reel:
    • Taking Sex Ed to the Streets panel with Carol Queen, Jessica Drake from Wicked, Sex Nerd Sandra
    • Sex and the Media panel with Charlie Glickman, Lynn Comella
    • Making Orgasm a Political Statement with AASECT-certified sexuality educator Megan Andelloux
    • Bawdy storytelling, dirty bingo, pool hangout with some cool poly peeps–thanks for coming out!
    • We gave away 10 shirts! Will have more to order online soon.
  • Which cons do you attend and want to see a PW session at? Let us know on the Poly Weekly Facebook page

15:25 Sex for your earbuds

Life on the Swingset podcast

17:00 Tristan Taormino answers your kink and poly questions

Tristan Taormino, award winning author, columnist, editor, filmmaker, sex educator and author of the new book, the Ultimate Guide to Kink, answers listener questions!

  • Ian asks: please explain the multi-partner dynamic as it exists in the kink world, and how it is different (or similar) to the poly. (There are many polys who are not kinky, many kinky who are not poly, and many many monogamous people who are kinky and have issues participating in the kink community.)
  • Emma asks: I’ve been asked to do scenes with people who are “sexually monogamous” with their partners. Lots of conversation about what activities count as sex ensues, but I’m still nervous to play with monogamous people. What if something is improvised in the moment and crosses that line? What if something feels sexual to me but not to them?
  • Herb asks: Have you actually seen or heard of a fetish that surprised you?
  • James asks: What if someone wants to try something scary (breath play) but is worried about past sexual abuse issues it could bring up?

More questions for Tristan? Ask them on her weekly live radio show, Sex Out Loud, Fridays at 5:00 PM Pacific on VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network.

37:40 Happy Poly Moment

Cysteine shares a happy poly moment.

Thanks

Thanks to Carina and Jason for their donations!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


PW 334: The Ultimate Guide to Kink

Tristan Taormino tells all about kink in her new book

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1:00 News and host chat

  • I’ll be giving Content Creation for the Online Activist at CatalystCon September 14-16 in Long Beach

3:30 Tristan Taormino on the Ultimate Guide to Kink

Tristan Taormino, award winning author, columnist, editor, filmmaker, sex educator and editor, shares her insights on her new book, the Ultimate Guide to Kink. Tristan shares why she decided to write the book, why she decided to use an anthology format, and who should read the book.

Also, the book is split into two parts: skills/techniques and fantasies/fetishes—Tristan shares why and what you can expect in each section.

Where can you buy the Ultimate Guide? Your local sex-positive store such as Smitten Kitten or Babeland.

33:30 Feedback

  • David took issue with Grammar Girl’s explanations of “jealousy” versus “envy”. That full podcast episode is here: Jealousy vs Envy

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!


PW 322: 50 Shades of Myth

What assumptions about BDSM from fanfic erotica novel 50 Shades of Grey are wrong or unrealistic? Most of them.

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Introduction

Under-18 warning and redirection to Scarleteen

1:00 News and host chat

6:00 Topic: 50 Shades of Myth

If you’ve been hearing about 50 Shades of Gray, you know that it’s pretty lame and inaccurate. Not surprising, as it was written by a fanfic writer with absolutely no experience in or research into BDSM at all. And this article goes into the assumptions about how and why people engage in BDSM that the book gets wrong.

21:15 Feedback

E from Sweden writes in with more marriage stats.

23:00 Wrapup

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? :-) Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

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